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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this Mum was horrid and ruined a little girls birthday party

93 replies

WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:10

We were at a party today, and the kids were playing happily on the bouncy castle, parents chilling and supervising. Suddenly, from what seemed out of no-where, one Mum, who had been watching the bouncy castle from the other side of the hall, came running up and shouted (and yes, I mean she actually shouted) "STOP IT, DON'T YOU DARE KICK HIM, HOW DARE YOU, YOU STUPID BOY!" We called for her DS, who was not crying at all and who otherwise seemed unharmed, and left with him without saying anything. She didn't even put her ds's shoes back on.

Now, the little boy who she had been shouting at did not have a parent who stayed at the party, and I felt so sorry for him. he stopped playing on the bouncy castle and went to play with some balloons and although he seemed happy, I just couldn't believe that another mum had just screamed a him public like that!

I asked my Dd what had actually happened (she had been on the bouncy castle) and she said that the boys had been playing a game and had been pushing each other down and standing and stamping on each other. Ok I admit no a very safe game, but surely this mum could have got the whole story before going crazy.

The Mum of the birthday girl was horrified and she went out after the Mum I assume to talk to her, but came back in shortly after and tried to act like nothing had happened. Most of the children left the bouncy castle, and a few of the children, including my DDs then came over and started being clingy, whereas before they had been fine. Most of the other parents, like me were shocked, and embarrassed. The atmosphere changed. The birthday girl from that moment on would not leave her mums side.

I just feel like this woman behaved abysmally really and I feel really unsettled about it. But then again, children being called stupid usually is enough to set me off......I wanted to give the poor little boy a hug.....

OP posts:
AnyFuckerGotBunnywhacked · 28/10/2013 05:56

I'm of the drag my dc away from situations rather than endure confrontation camp hey it's a big camp
but i think even I would have had an Oi No we do not do that. Perhaps she had had trouble with that particular child before and saw red.

No reason at all for calling a child stupid but i expect she feels very embarrassed about it now.

SunshineMMum · 28/10/2013 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverApples · 28/10/2013 08:31

She over-reacted, but proper supervision of the bouncy castle would have stopped the incident before it became a problem. If it had been a bouncy castle at a school fair, there would have been endless complaining about negligence and how dangerous it was.
You provide an activity, you sort out the safety aspects as well, playfighting and stamping on people is not OK.

Hulababy · 28/10/2013 08:43

It's never acceptable to call a child stupid.
It's not acceptable to scream and bellow at someone else's 3y child.
React by saying firmly stop and suggest an alternative maybe.
Some adults think shouting loudly and scaring youngsters is normal sadly though.

intitgrand · 29/10/2013 10:04

I think all that paes into insignificance against the risk of a child's neck being broken

digerd · 29/10/2013 10:14

Sunshine
My thoughts exactly.

HowlingTrap · 29/10/2013 10:43

Oh dear, yeah I can see how her behaviour soured the mood.
Especially as the little boy had no-one with him, she sounded a bit hysterical tbh.

HowlingTrap · 29/10/2013 10:45

I agree the levels of toddler related broken necks needs to be stopped before it reaches pandemic levels (!)

I agree with HulaBaby, I would have asked her to leave to be frank.

lottieandmia · 29/10/2013 10:56

I agree with Hulababy.

I think rough and tumble play seems to be normal on bouncy castles - if it was getting out of hand there were plenty of better ways that she could have tried to calm this down. I don't know why any adult would think that this was a good example to set the children Hmm

intitgrand · 29/10/2013 11:10

howlingtrap
I think we migt be too late for that see this artice published less than a year ago reporting a fifteen fold increase in bouncy castle accidents.And that is accidents not children stamping on each others.Really, people with scornful ignorance like yourself are the reason for these injuries.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 29/10/2013 11:14

She over reacted, I would have thought going over and separating them would have been better than screaming and calling a child stupid.

Small children can become over excited and do dangerous daft things if not supervised properly

MoominsYonisAreScary · 29/10/2013 11:18

And she could have supervised her own child a little better if it went from pushing and shoving to stamping before she even noticed

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 29/10/2013 11:30

Sounds like no one was supervising the bouncy castle really. The mum was over the top, but I probably would have shouted 'stop' or 'off! now!' in her shoes. But I would then have a had a talk with the children about how stamping on people isn't, in generally, a very good idea. And not stropped off.

slothlike · 29/10/2013 11:54

I've yelled at a kid before to get their attention, but I'd be really, really cross if my DS was being naughty and another parent called him stupid - would be very embarrassed if I ever did it myself. I mean, I would be cross if I heard my DS call someone else stupid, never mind an adult who should have more self-control.

Although by the sounds of it I wouldn't have been overly happy with the bouncy castle game either. I know a certain level of rough and tumble is normal and healthy, but stamping sounds a bit much...

HowlingTrap · 29/10/2013 11:57

Hang on?
Increase in injuries, that are indeed accidents not due to stamping
a point I just made,
and I have scornful Ignorance? WTAF? go back to sleep initgrand.
Yes the blame for all of these injuries lie at my feet , jesus fuckin' christ.

pigletmania · 29/10/2013 12:23

Yanbu and yanbu. The mum should not ave yelled at the boy, but mabey take her ds away and told both of tem to be careful it's not nice to hit etc. but standing and stamping on each other can be dangerous and lead to severe injuries, it was not a nice safe game really!

Igloofornow · 29/10/2013 12:30

I think 3 is very young to leave a child at a party and allow such a game to happen. I'd expect this of 7/8 tbh.

It was probably very upsetting for the mum to watch her son being stamped on, I'd like to think I wouldn't have shouted but I'd have been distressed.

handcream · 29/10/2013 12:34

I was supervising my niece (age 5) and her friend from down the road who has some disabilities. My niece isnt particularly good at playing, like to be the centre of attention, however she grabbed hold of this friend and started smacking her as she wasnt listening to what she was saying. It was horrible - a small girl just cowing.

I ran over and told my niece that it was a horrible nasty thing to do and completely ignored her, it resulted in my niece running off and finding her Mum in the kitchen in floods of tears making up a story about how the other child started hitting her which wasnt true at all!

Although my SIL said she believed me she started making a big fuss of her daughter, giving her a piece of cake to make her feel better which I guess was the whole point from my niece's point of view!

mortuusUrsus · 29/10/2013 12:42

I don't think you can really comment on how appropriate the other mothers reaction was because you didn't see what was going on. If I'd seen someone about to stamp on the face of my child, game or not, I'd scream first and think later.

WhereIsMyHat · 29/10/2013 14:34

Even if she had a fright, she should never have shouted at a 3/4 year old that he was stupid. I can understand shouting in a dangerous situation if you are fearful about a child, especially your own, getting hurt but to call a child that is over the top and uncalled for especially given that it sounds like both boys were giving as good as they got.

themaltesefalcon · 29/10/2013 14:35

What the hell?

She saw someone stamping on her child, yes?

She shouted, she took her kid away.

I am struggling to see the problem.

And to any posters using the misogynistic adjective "hysterical" to describe a woman protecting her son, shame on you.

RosebudTheCat · 29/10/2013 15:18

I think shouting 'stop kicking' or whatever is fine, followed by separating them and explaining that it is dangerous. Not on to shout 'stupid boy'.

pigletmania · 29/10/2013 16:07

Yes I would have shouted stop it now, whist walking very quickly towards te incident. I would have told whoever it was to stop stamping it's not nice and somebody can get hurt!

Balaboosta · 29/10/2013 16:18

This thread for me is mumsnet at its worst. You just don't know what was going through that woman's mind or what was happening to her that day. Random judginess and self-righteous. Yuckity yuck.
I have anxiety issues and find children's parties quite challenging. Bouncy castles can be quite creepy and frightening. There are occasionally some very serious accidents

Balaboosta · 29/10/2013 16:20

Having said that my anxiety has never led to to scream at someone else's child. That was completely out of order. Doesn't mean it's up to you to be judge and jury though.
YABU.

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