to hide all threads about depression which pop up on Chat and Aibu?

[Mintyy]

I always feel guilty, but I come on to Mumsnet to look for proper chat (ie. a two-way kinda thing about matters relatively trivial), practical advice, and a laugh.

This is why I have the mental health topic hidden and I would hide relationships if I didn't want to lurk on brave babes.

But aibu?

[Trills]

YANBU to hide any thread you like.

You are not obliged to participate in a thread if you don't want to.

You don't owe people anything.

[Trills]

Even if you have received similar help yourself, there is no expectation or obligation for you to provide help to others.

[manicinsomniac]

I don't see why it's offensive.

I have anorexia, cyclothymia and, in the past, have been a self harmer and had OCD and mild depression. But I've never visited the mental health board and never would. I come on MN for entertainment, I don't want to read about people's misery nor do I particularly want to post about my own.

Other people do though, which is fine.

We all use the site for our own purposes and read the bits we want to.

[trish5000]

Sorry Mintyy. My last post with the "", made it look like you said what was in the "" but you didnt. That was me writing something. [hopes I have explained that ok].

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh yes, I see what you mean.

TBH I don't see how it could work, though. In practice, people find Chat and AIBU first a lot of the time. Should we also insist all threads about TTC/pregnancy/babies be relegated to those topics so as not to upset anyone who's trying and failing to get pregnant? Or that we should never mention weddings in case someone is getting divorced (might not be a bad idea, actually ...).

[BOF]

I generally hide those threads too, as I find them upsetting. It's probably not a great idea to raise this in AIBU though- Site Stuff might be better. I wouldn't want to potentially exacerbate someone's distress by making them feel unwelcome by brnging it up on the busiest board of the site where the might well see it.

I feel uncomfortable with the threads though- on that I agree.

[BOF]

Sorry about all those typos- I hope you can still read it.

[Mintyy]

I understand what you are saying Boffy. But I feel this is a genuine aibu? iyswim.

I am not asking for threads to be moved to the correct topic or any of that stuff (although I am generally thought to be the Gestapo on that particular issue) - I just feel a bit pants about clicking hide all the time.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I think that's important, kim, it is quite quiet.

I also think you can post without perhaps knowing you would be appropriate to post on MH? I am absolutely fine, but a couple of months ago I felt a bit crap and posted in Chat, and the net result was a GP visit and some happy pills. So obviously I could have posted in MH, but at the time I'd have felt a right fraud, knowing that people post there with serious issues and mine were really not.

I don't know if I'm missing something here, though, I may be.

[BOF]

Maybe MNHQ (and us as users who could report) should be more officious about moving threads to the correct topic though?

The correct topics are only quiet because nobody can be arsed looking for them, and they post in Chat or AIBU by default.

To make it work, though, MNHQ drastically need to move up their list of priorities the urgent need to streamline their topic list.

I'm going to report this thread so they can see what we're saying and consider it.

[Spikeytree]

I think if someone has plucked up the courage to post about something deeply distressing to them, telling them to find the correct board might put them off posting again. YANBU to hide the threads, but I don't understand why you would post like this other than to warn people off posting those kinds of threads. They may make you uncomfortable, they may trigger you, god knows I'm triggered by every rape thread that appears, but I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea that somebody feeling desperate tonight might read this and be put off posting on MN at all in case they get it 'wrong'.

[trish5000]

I dont think that you need to feel pants. The irony is that if they post on chat or AIBU they can sometimes get more help than posting on the quiet mental health board.
So if I were you, I would press the hide button, and try not to be upset about it.

[BOF]

If the topics were drastically cut down though, then surely MNHQ could quietly move them? That wouldn't have to put anybody off posting.

[Spikeytree]

I think a thread like this might put people off posting, tbh. When at my lowest, being 'told off' or thinking I was annoying people would be enough.

[BOF]

Yes, I do think there's a risk of that, although it's worth discussing. That's why I think it would be better in Site Stuff.

[MaryZombie]

I agree.

I always want to hide teenager threads in aibu and chat as well, as the responses aren't knowledgeable and are either dismissive or critical .

My main gripe, though, is that I have Mental Health and Relationships hidden because I can't cope with them - but they still appear on "Most Active" and I get drawn in.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Fair point, BoF.

[MurderOfBanshees]

I think I've posted mental health stuff in chat before when I've needed fairly immediate help - memories of those times not especially clear though.

So definitely use the hide button.

I have had to hide some that mention self harm/suicide in the past, just far too triggery.

Definitely wouldn't advise anyone to go on to a thread about mental health in chat or AIBU just to point the OP to the mental health board though, that could be really damaging.

Think MNHQ moving threads would probably be best, but only if it didn't mean threads going unnoticed.

[AgentZigzag]

I totally disagree with getting on to MNHQ to move a thread with someone distressed and desperately crying out for help to somewhere where they wouldn't get the help/attention they need.

Shoving them into a dark corner because some people find it uncomfortable??

consideration for someone who's been through it themselves and has trouble dealing with it, comes a long way down to someone who is wanting to kill themselves.

It's thread policing at its most heartless, especially when it's been acknowledged that it's quiet on the mental health boards. Saying that it'd make the board pick up more posters won't be much help to the person or their family who've done away with themselves because they're so alone.

[MurderOfBanshees]

This is true Agent, nothing like being moved out of sight when you are already feeling isolated. :(

[BOF]

It wouldn't be a dark corner though, if we had twenty topics instead of two hundred.

[Strumpetron]

agentzigzag agreed.


if that's the case all the sunday roast topics would have to be moved to the food section, all the pets topics to the doghouse/cat thingymijig, all posts about children to the relevant forum....

It would be a shite place to be if this happened, and a tremendous effort for MNHQ

[MaryZombie]

They won't move threads though.

The problem isn't just the triggering. Some of the "advice" in AIBU is questionable at best.

Often the suggestion of getting it moved is to try to make sure that the op doesn't get crap advice or criticism.