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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that asking an interviewee if they have children should be banned?

126 replies

SeaSickSal · 27/10/2013 12:33

I was made redundant this year, by a company who tend to make women who've taken maternity leave redundant when they come back, but that's another story.

I've been going for interviews and the question of children seems to come up. I have a one and a half year old and as soon as he is mentioned the temperature seems to change in the interview because there seems to be an assumption that because I've had one I will probably be having another fairly soon.

I've actually been asked outright if I'm intending to have more and in one case offered the job but only if I did it on a self employed basis, despite it always being done by an employee before. I am fairly certain they only offered on that basis to avoid maternity pay. Other interviews have been wrapped up fairly quickly after it's been mentioned.

This seems that there is some pretty blatant discrimination going on and I'm getting the impression that private sector jobs are extremely difficult to get in these circumstances.

The question doesn't even come up in public sector interviews.

Am I being unreasonable to think the only way of stopping this kind of discrimination is to ban asking questions about kids in the first place?

OP posts:
APartridgeAmongThePigeons · 27/10/2013 15:01

want2be

Why should they ask? Surely the assumption is that everyone has issues they need to attend to sometimes.. Be they children or parents or whatever. If you don't want to use the conversation to discriminate against an employee..have the conversation after you hired them. An adult who can time manage doesn't need to be asked that question ask them about the jobs they have had and get references from their previous employers and you know if they show up on time.

Single parents (usually women) will likely need more time and I can only see the question harming them.

"oh you have 3 kids and no family and your ex isn't in the picture?"

Don't call us we'll call you.

Chunderella · 27/10/2013 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thecatfromjapan · 27/10/2013 15:13

Sorry, no.

In fact, I'll bet it was in "Chat".

It was one of those things that I now wish I'd copied ans saved as a document. It was amazing, with loads of mothers sharing their experiences. Obviously some women saying "It wasn't like that for me." - which you would expect. But surprising how much common experience there really was, and how it fitted together.

I really do miss MorningPaper.

Chunderella · 27/10/2013 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HellMouthCusty · 27/10/2013 15:21

i presumed it was illegal and never ask in the interviews i do

however as i have had children when i was young and they are now grown, I know that to mention this in an interview gives me an edge over someone who had young ones - if we were equally matched otherwise

sorry sisters

flowery · 27/10/2013 15:27

"Isn't it classed as an illegal discriminatory question here in the UK though?"

There is no list of questions that are classed as illegal and discriminatory.

An employer asking that question will give the impression that they are discriminating, which will make their decision more likely to be challenged even if the interviewee's family circumstances were nothing to do with the decision.

If they were discriminating it will make proving a case easier.

For those reasons it is stupid to ask. But not illegal in itself. Stupidity is not against the law.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 27/10/2013 15:29

i do tend to mention my daughter in an interview when talking about the realities of the role and expectations around fairly frequent overnight trips. I say this to men and women of whatever age. I want to make sure they know what they are getting into and that it will need a fair amount of flex. Then i leave it to them to decide if they are able to offer this.

The flip side is that within reason we are flexible in return.

SirChenjin · 27/10/2013 15:34

So is it a case of if you ask the question then you are opening yourself up to discrimination claims?

mameulah · 27/10/2013 15:35

Partridge

My mum also had her own small company, which she successfully ran for more than twenty years, and NEVER ONCE took a day off. And never once did her childcare arrangements affect her work. But the people she employed were entitled to lots and lots of days off. Some legitimate. Some blatant piss taking.

I am happily employed and don't take days off easily. But it is a possibility if necessary. For example, through miscarriage. My DH couldn't take time off to be with me though. Because he is responsible for making sure that all is done for employees wages to be paid.

It is all very well wanting everything to be equal. But it isn't.

And, if it was all coming out of your bank account then I am sure your view on it would be different.

If I was employing someone I would want to see that they were able to communicate openly and in a straightforward manner. Like I say, if your livelihood was affected I am CERTAIN you would have a different perspective.

flowery · 27/10/2013 15:39

"So is it a case of if you ask the question then you are opening yourself up to discrimination claims?"

Yes. You may not be discriminating at all. You may be asking all candidates the question, thereby not treating women less favourably. You may just be making conversation and not taking the answer into account at all.

But you will give the impression you are discriminating even if you are not doing so.

gintastic · 27/10/2013 15:52

I was asked in my most recent interview about how I dealt with the children during school holiday. I told them I paid the childminder 100% of my salary rather than 80% so I could work. I got the job.

SirChenjin · 27/10/2013 15:55

Thanks Flowery Smile - not sure if you saw the link I posted upthread to WorkingMums, but does their advice seem right to you?

Strumpetron · 27/10/2013 15:56

As other's as said, they shouldn't do.

I went on an interview a few months ago and the FIRST question they ask was if I had a partner - what the fuck's it got to do with them? I asked them how was it relevant.

Original poster
SeaSickSal · 27/10/2013 15:57

Holeyghost when I was asked I gave answers demonstrating that it wouldn't affect my ability to do my job. They didn't care. Shut down as soon as they heard I had a toddler because toddler+thirty something woman = another one on the way to them.

OP posts:
Pachacuti · 27/10/2013 15:59

if your livelihood was affected I am CERTAIN you would have a different perspective

If your livelihood was affected? If, say, you were out of work and were getting turned down for jobs because you had small children or employers thought you might have more children? Like the OP?

Is it only discrimination laws that you feel it's perfectly fine to break for the purposes of protecting your livelihood, or are all of them fair game?

EBearhug · 27/10/2013 16:27

According to this site in the US "an interviewer can't ask your marital status, if you have children, what your child care situation is, or if you intend to have children (or more children)" - it's illegal.

But that's the US. You really can't compare employment rights there with employment rights in the UK or other European countries. (Something which appears to catch out some American employers with European offices every time they think of making cutbacks to staff numbers, and discover they can't apply US rules to all the different European countries, because we all have different rules, and you have to abide by local law - and redundancy and parental rights seem to be some of the areas with the greatest differences.)

However, I think good practice can apply across countries. It's good practice to treat everyone with respect, wherever you are.

SirChenjin · 27/10/2013 16:28

I know EBear - it was in response to an earlier poster from the US Smile

PresidentServalan · 27/10/2013 16:49

It is a relevant question for interviewees of both sexes though, especially if it's a job where people are expected to be flexible and work extra hours with little notice.

Mummyoftheyear · 27/10/2013 16:52

I'm with you on this one - although I'd rather they DID ask at interview to preclude a position being offered by a company that'd be hostile to an employee with children when it later came to light.
I too was made redundant. It was such a shock - especially since I'm a teacher and was really ... good! My only fault was to have had a baby and returned part time after maternity leave. Wasn't just me. Lots of 'new baby friends' were made redundant, as you described: just after returning from mat. leave.
When the school made me redundant, they also made redundant another new mummy who'd been head of the infants - and two older members of staff (equally revered but soon to retire). Cost cutting. Not nice.
I think that redundancy after having returned from mat. leave is scarily common. Probably easier to agree to us coming back part time and then to get rid of us, rather than to refuse.

Strumpetron · 27/10/2013 16:53

No it's not though president because it immediately influences their views, based on the assumption that people with kids can't be flexible, and work extra hours. It makes it harder for people with children to gain employment.

flowery · 27/10/2013 17:01

"It is a relevant question for interviewees of both sexes though, especially if it's a job where people are expected to be flexible and work extra hours with little notice."

No. The relevant question is "Are there any circumstances which would preclude you from being flexible and working extra hours at short notice?" Many parents would be perfectly able/willing to do those things and their children would have no bearing on that.

x2boys · 27/10/2013 17:06

even worse a mum I know from school went for a job interview and was asked what she would if one of the kids were ill!!

higgle · 27/10/2013 17:18

When I recruit we use an application form that doesn't ask for a date of birth and we never ask about marital status or children, or, at interview about health and sickness issues that might be discriminatory. I am constantly surprised that candidates either fill up their application form with information about their children or attend interview and go on and on about them - or their recent recovery from severe ill health. There is no helping some people! last time I was looking for a cleaner at home ( don't have one anymore) I also had a number of candidates ask if it bothered me that they claimed benefits and worked!!!!

hettie · 27/10/2013 17:19

x2boys.... god I find that kind of crap so depressing and enraging...

PresidentServalan · 27/10/2013 17:23

flowery Okay, fair point - I tend to volunteer the information that I am able to be flexible