To think that asking an interviewee if they have children should be banned?

[SeaSickSal]

I was made redundant this year, by a company who tend to make women who've taken maternity leave redundant when they come back, but that's another story.

I've been going for interviews and the question of children seems to come up. I have a one and a half year old and as soon as he is mentioned the temperature seems to change in the interview because there seems to be an assumption that because I've had one I will probably be having another fairly soon.

I've actually been asked outright if I'm intending to have more and in one case offered the job but only if I did it on a self employed basis, despite it always being done by an employee before. I am fairly certain they only offered on that basis to avoid maternity pay. Other interviews have been wrapped up fairly quickly after it's been mentioned.

This seems that there is some pretty blatant discrimination going on and I'm getting the impression that private sector jobs are extremely difficult to get in these circumstances.

The question doesn't even come up in public sector interviews.

Am I being unreasonable to think the only way of stopping this kind of discrimination is to ban asking questions about kids in the first place?

[Strumpetron]

I think most people do mention that they're flexible, but your willingness can be overlooked when they see the dreaded 'children' word. Some people just can't get past the assumptions and it's really sad.

(speaking as a woman with no children, but who used to read CV's and organise interviews)

[GrendelsMum]

We explain straight out that employees may need to work late at short notice and not be able to leave at their standard time, that they may need to travel for work and be away overnight, or for up to ten days, and often including a weekend.

Up to individuals as to whether that suits their own personal situation or not.

Having said that, we have had a one-off issue with someone who found that no longer suited her after having children, and that was difficult for all concerned..

[Strumpetron]

How short notice is short notice in your company's eyes grendel? Sorry I'm nosy!

I've never minded working late, extra etc but I do think it's out of order how businesses expect the world and their employees to put themselves out whenever they're expected to.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I think you have to ask the question - if an interviewer asks this, what else are they too lazy or too tight to cope with? How reputable are they? It is a red flag, same as if they asked anything else dubious.

My mate got asked this, and bluffed like mad explaining her childcare situation was fine. Company (tiny ten-person operation) went under because the boss also thought it was optional to sort out all of his insurance.

I would think it's a very telling response.

[GrendelsMum]

Strumpetron - well, its a little difficult brcause people are working across timezones, but it can be a case of 'this needs sorting now', or needs sorting by the next morning. Unfortunately we do have clients who will walk if they don't get things done promptly, and the time zone issue exacerbates that. The key issue was when a more senior staff member was expecting another staff member to cover this type of issue every single time.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

I've had a fair few interviews in the last few months and never once been asked.

[SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood]

Sorry not read the whole thread but simply asking the question is not illegal, despite the myth that it is coming out on every such thread

[SirChenjin]

Flowery has explained that upthread

[SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood]

Oh sorry. Guilty of what I get annoyed at others for

[SirChenjin]

- it's easy done!

[pigsDOfly]

My last employer, a very small business, got round the whole problem of the likelihood of potential (part time, always female) employees having babies by sifting through the CVs. Anyone who said they had children, and a surprising amount did, was immediately discounted. Anyone who put their age on their CV and was of child bearing age would also be discounted.

If anyone of child bearing age did somehow manage to get to an interview he would ask them if they had children or were likely to.

I remember sitting in on the first interview we did together open mouthed when he asked the woman, late thirties, if she had or was likely to have children in the near future (I'd previously told him, he couldn't ask that question partly because it's rude and partly because it's discriminatory, but he was a knob so did as he liked). As far as I could make out her reply, that unfortunately she was unable to have children, secured her the job, mainly because he seemed to feel that with no children on the scene she'd have to reason to be distracted by anything. As it turned out she was consistently late, unreliable and totally unsuited to the job.

Having children or not having children has nothing to do with someones ability to do a job, commitment to the job or reliability and imo is not an appropriate question to ask at an interview.

[GrendelsMum]

The other day I was chatting casually to a young colleague in the pub, and asked what she was planning to do when the baby arrived - meaning, in my head, was her mum coming over from her home country to be with her in the early days. Which she interpreted as meaning 'was she going to resign after maternity leave', and she told me it was illegal to ask her anything like that...

[APartridgeAmongThePigeons]

f I was employing someone I would want to see that they were able to communicate openly and in a straightforward manner. Like I say, if your livelihood was affected I am CERTAIN you would have a different perspective.

That's ridiculous. By the same token people shouldn't hire anyone with disabilities because they might need time off for medical appointments. I mean really, why don't you ask them if they have a healthy partner as if their wife gets cancer the man who had previously not bothered to take care of his children might have to start and look after his wife.

And you can be as CERTAIN as you like but there are plenty of businesses that are actively trying to recruit women for their skills desipte shock horror their total ability to breed.

[Want2bSupermum]

Sir That link is to About which isn't a site i would rely on. I understand that here in NJ it is illegal to disciminate but they can ask questions. Each state has their own rules.

Partridge My employer doesn't want to hire someone into a position that is going to be tough for them to be successful in. A single parent with three children isn't going to find the M&A group a good fit for them. They would find another department a far better fit for them.

[SirChenjin]

Is the information false though? Another (very quick) search seems to indicate that in the US you are not allowed to ask that question (amongst others) - it seems to come down to much more than simple 'communication'.

[nulgirl]

When I was being interviewed for my current job I was the one who brought it up in the interview. Because I had previously been a contractor I had gaps in my employment history that I had to explain on my cv. The two men interviewing me seemed very awkward about the whole part of the conversation and were bending over backwards to not ask me about my kids. I did explain to them about the kids and my childcare. I think I may have also said that I had no intentions to have any more children. They did admit afterwards that they were scared to ask as it was forbidden but they had even guessed my kids ages from the periods off work. It didn't count against me - not sure if I had announced that I was planning a third whether I'd have got the job.

[TheIggorcist]

I can't see how asking men as well as women makes it a non- discriminatory question. It is not men who are likely to be off for a second maternity leave. And women still, more than men, take time off for sick children ( my DP and I share this, but without exception the nursery always call me first). So sure lumpy indirect sex discrimination could be claimed.

[TheIggorcist]

Not sure where the "lumpy" came from!

[Fantail]

I don't wear my wedding ring to interviews to try and avoid this.

I do have a friend who runs a small business and her preference is for hiring mothers as they tend to focus better and get the job done.

[flowery]

"I can't see how asking men as well as women makes it a non- discriminatory question."

Discrimination is being treated less favourably than the non protected group. So simply asking the question wouldn't be discriminatory if everyone is asked it.

If a woman wasn't offered the job because of the answer, that would be discrimination.

[Strumpetron]

I do think the question shouldn't be asked because it can instantly affect someone's opinion, they might even not realise it.

It's just irrelevant, and a fact they simply don't need to know.

[Strumpetron]

If a woman wasn't offered the job because of the answer, that would be discrimination

Same as if a man wasn't offered it. I don't think the discrimination in this case is necessarily gender based. It's whether or not you have children.

[ThisWayForCrazy]

I think they can ask any question they like, but they must ask the same questions to all candidates, so should be prepared to ask men the same question.

[flowery]

Being a parent isn't a protected group under the Equality Act though Strumpetron