People who talk about their own personality on Facebook

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Yeah I know Facebook. But, I hate these kind of updates...

"Oh everyone who knows me knows I have a really quirky and intelligent sense of humour"

Or

"I have so much love to give to the right person but my personality is so free and brave and bold and too clever for average men, so I guess for most they just couldn't handle me."

The latter usually followed by loads of "U Ok Hun? Xxxxx" or just "xxxxx" and of course the attention seeking author of the original status never actually replies to the comments again. Just loves all the Aaawhunning that goes on.

CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS FUCK OFF CUNTS.

I think you know some weirdos. I have hundreds of fb friends but I've never come across people saying stuff like this.

I love Facebook - I just read it feeling smug that I'm not as much as a knobber as most people

If you don't know any weirdos out of the hundreds of people on your fb Coffee, does that mean you might be theirs?

or "not as much of a knobber as most people I know"

Facebook is like alcohol - addictive and reflects parts of FB friends' true personalities in all their ''lol, hunni'' glory..

Agent who knows maybe I am

Ohhh, I've been doing Facebook all wrong! I didn't realise I should aspire to make my page a completely unbiased, detached overview of important philosophical matters

But that's crazy me, always getting the wrong end of the stick lol.

I despise any "inspiring quotes" , those e-card statuses, but most of all, anything saying "How many likes can .... get?", none from me, you tedious

I would open the door first. I'm an insomniac

I love this. Makes me want to post this thread on my facebook page!

Haven't had a "friend" post the OP (that I've noticed - which doesn't mean much as am not on there religiously), or the giraffe thing, but relate to ALL of the others.

Have recently turned off notifications for a good friend with a x month old baby who posts continuously about how tired she is and how hard it all is and how now thankfully the baby is sleeping. I have sent messages and so many of us have written on her wall to turn off her phone and go to sleep with her child. Stupid bitch just writes back 20 minutes later "oooh but I can't, I have to feed baby now cause darling child woke up already".
I just have lost the will to care for her as a result of her fbook behaviour. Her child is obviously distracting her from her narcisistic lifestyle.
Add to that she was a complete cow to me and my child before hers came along.... I can see her getting various access revoked and possibly unfriended actuallly now I am reflecting...

...ok, feel better, will sit down now, thanks

You'd feel so much better if you let that out on fb notenough.

But remember, it has to be cryptic.

'Sum ppl need 2 listen 2 themselfs. Haterz'

Maybe?

My SIL constantly posts such gut churning comments as ... "my wonderful husband is my soul mate I will follow him to the end of the earth" when he is sitting right next to her on the sofa or "happy Canadian day to my Canadian family I love you all" followed by a picture of the canadian flag or something (GAH). She also posts millions of pictures of of everything they do from suppermarket shopping to decorating with huge comments about everything.

SIL is just not like this at all when you talk to her in real life. I just don't get why facebook changes people and who they think they are fooling. I Hate Hate Hate it and it completely puts m off using facebook at all

I think some of you know weirder people than I do - mind you, some people reading my wall might think I'm the weird one, what do I know?

But I do make quite some use of the Hide buttons, so I don't get any Farmville or Candy Crush rubbish, and I hide other posts if I find them annoying. I mostly just ignore the "only 2% of people will repost this to show they really care about [random worthy cause]" without hiding, and most people who know me will know I show I care for things in other ways than wittering on in FB about it.

But I like seeing things like people celebrating wedding anniversaries and stuff. Although people my age should stop having children with 18th birthday parties and stuff. That is surely illegal, because I only left university about 20 years ago.

This thread is so spot on

One of my friends is a complete alcoholic train-wreck in real life. On FB her statuses are all like bloody Thought for the Day, exhorting us all to be grateful for what we have, hang on for Mr Right (this is important to her) blah blah blah. Would be offensive if it wasn't so sad.

Someone I know gives a blow by blow account of her babies nappy contents and various constipation/diarrhea sagas.

I never see this stuff, if you choose to have strange friends - well...

actually I do have n FB friend who posts cringey stuff, has really changed my opinion of her.

I used to have a friend who ended every single update with (and I quote) "insert mundane update here luv ma hubby an kids so much, always an 4eva"

Not sure her toddlers were able to read her profession of love at whether her dh actually appreciated being told in this way, but it drove me up the wall!

I find the posts wishing a spouse or offspring a happy birthday or whatever weird. They are generally first thing in the morning so the recipient is probably still home. Weirder still when the recipient responds to the post when they are probably sitting in the same room as the poster. Weirdest of all when it's someone not even on FB: toddler DC / internet-resistant parents / long dead dog.

Also find the Saturday night ramblings about fucking X Factor so dull. You thought it was shit last year and the year before that, so why the fuck are you still watching it?

Local selling pages: anyone selling X? Must be excellent condition and cheap. Gah! We're not here to subsidise your shopping urges.

Oh gawd INeed and the 'Love my hubby to the moon and back -you are my rock xxxxx' and tagging said husband. e.v.e.r.y fucking day. He's sat opposite you, tell him.
aaaarrrrrrggghhhhhh

Unfortunately my sister and my mum are my nuisance fb wall clutterers. My sister only ever posts various moans about being tired, work being annoying, getting a cold.. moan, bore moan etc. Mum LOVES sharing inane 'comedy' posts, 'share if you love your dog/hubby/son/whatever', 'claim a free ipad' and a few right wing conspiracy bollocks thrown in for good measure. I'd block them in an instant but they live 12000 miles away and fb is an established comms link with them. I've already been caught out with blocking the MIL's dull yet incessant feed, she got all offended I'd missed a bunch of very important updates about her life.

embarrassingly several people quite close to me started playing the "describe me with one word starting with the letter x" game about 4 hours after my last post slagging it off

I post earnest political stuff and you all have me hidden

My personal updates all happen on lists & closed groups - if you ain't in, you're out! Mwahahahah.

I quite like thinking up scathing responses actually.

The beauty is that if the recipient gets narky they know full well Facebook is just gratuitous.
They shouldn't have posted they are "finally ready for love" if everyone knows that since day one of their break up/divorce, they would have ripped the clothes of the postman if he had stayed still long enough. I like to remind people of this .