People who talk about their own personality on Facebook

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Yeah I know Facebook. But, I hate these kind of updates...

"Oh everyone who knows me knows I have a really quirky and intelligent sense of humour"

Or

"I have so much love to give to the right person but my personality is so free and brave and bold and too clever for average men, so I guess for most they just couldn't handle me."

The latter usually followed by loads of "U Ok Hun? Xxxxx" or just "xxxxx" and of course the attention seeking author of the original status never actually replies to the comments again. Just loves all the Aaawhunning that goes on.

CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS FUCK OFF CUNTS.

Oh god all the airy fairy farts who post about some crap indian philosophy and post weird pix PLEASE GO AWAY. Also effing bingo adverts that suddenly appear; GO AWAY.

Giraffe thing;

There's a riddle. If you get the answer right you get to keep your profile pic. If you get it wrong, you have to change your pic to a giraffe for 3 days.

Ahhh, not seen that, thanks Tee.

Aah, I've seen the giraffe thing too, what's the riddle?

"This should be fun! Post a reply with just one word to describe how we met!" or "My letter is S. describe me using just one word beginning with S! You have to do this, and like it, and share it, and post it on Twitter and then forward to your email contacts and take a screenshot of it and photoshop it... and then I will give YOU a letter"

Shan't.

"Here is the riddle: 3:00 am, the doorbell rings and you wake up. Unexpected visitors, It's your parents and they are there for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?"

The door?

I have a collegue from work who keeps posting really personal stuff about her marriage breakup on FB. It's strangely compelling in a cringey way.

The door.

Or the gin.

The door and the match?

I was going to say door too, is that right?

I want to say match kim but think its wrong!

None of you are right on mine so far.

It's 3 am. What the first thing you would open if someone knocked on your door then?

Ooh, your eyes!

Or the window to shout "piss off it's 3am in the morning".

Eyes, your eyes!!

Damn, X post!

My FIL is like this.

In RL conversation.

My pet hate is the "if you have been touched by [insert tragedy] you'll repost this, if you don't everyone will know that you are a selfish bastard".

I don't care how worthy the cause, I will not re-post these things and I have no patience for anyone who thinks less of me because of it.

GAH

Am now wondering if I could find the emergency 3am gin blindfolded.

:o at all of this - I haven't seen the giraffe thing. I have seen plenty of the cryptic "I like it against the utility room door" bollocks which inexplicably has something to do with supporting breast cancer (how?).

My first one true love posts the most appalling up his own arse shite on a daily basis. Existential angst about surfing, that sort of thing.

And a old school-friend posts endless links to books or music or films that no-one else will have heard of, in a "I'm just so damn cultured" sort of way. Makes me rage.

You do know that you have a choice about being on fb don't you?
And you are aware that you can hide stuff you don't like, right??