Children should be seen and not heard?

[Pinkpinot]

Is this just an old fashioned outdated sentiment
My mil has just said it to my ds
Really fucked me off

Pinkpinot - so what do you suggest with a child (not necessarily your DS, just any child) who talks non-stop? Do you think everyone should stop and listen to everything they say and no one else allowed to have their own conversations?
I don't think the 'children should be seen and not heard' was meant by your MIL literally, I think it was more of a STFU now, you are giving me a headache with your constant prattle!
In the nicest way possible you do need to be aware when people are getting bored with having to listen to his non stop chat!people don't find it as charming as you do
.I have an impression that 'party bores' started life like this, unable to pick up on social cues of when to shut up.Your DS doesn't know this yet because he is still fairly young, you have to guide him

Everybody matters, everybody should be considerate of everybody else.

Ideally this means that both children and adults should be considerate in terms of noise and conversational give and take and that both children and adults should know how to be tactful if somebody else falls down on the behaviour front.

In RL (which is rather different) this means I have sometimes had to explain to my children that I am in charge of teaching them things that will help them to get on in life but that I am not in charge of teaching their grandparents or their teachers.

As they have grown older I have also been careful to explain to them how the same behaviour comes across as more or less upsetting depending on the context.

A student who insists on talking non-stop in a class that I am teaching is very different from a colleague who monopolises the conversation at lunchtime. A child who teases his parent may be fine, but if he does the same thing to his host at a birthday party in a house he has never visited before will come across as very rude. And even a child will feel more upset if his parents tells him off in front of his mates than if it happens at home with nobody else present.

Pixie- of course children shouldn't be allowed to talk non stop, but they should be allowed to express themselves appropriately
I think it's part of a much better picture, about teaching them that the world doesn't revolve around them
That they need to listen to others, empathise
I also think they need time to think and reflect, so we do have quiet time
It's a big responsibility

It's about good manners, no matter how old the individuals (if they are not babies)
There are adults who need to learn when to listen and when to speak.

The same as teaching them to say sorry if they hurt someone accidentally, or getting then to wipe something up that they have spilt
Or what happens when things get broken
Or how to manage personal space
Or how to play nicely and share

It is an outdated phrase BUT like other posters i think he should be showing a little more respect.

Like someone else said. Whilst his stories might be fascinating to you and wonderful to someone else its is a child talking to them about things they don't know.

DD1 is obssesed with minecraft. So when she speaks to my parents over Skype she insists on telling them everything about the game. After a while it gets boring and i have to remind her that her nanna and grandad have no interest in minecraft.

She is also having to learn not to interupt.

But i'm guessing that this incident with MIL and your DS is just the tip of the iceberg with problems with MIL. And yes i would be cross if a child spoke to me like that.

I didn't say that would be an acceptable thing to say, I said it would be more appropriate. I also would have spoken up if anyone had said that to my DS!

friday16 - yes that's what I was trying to say afterwards about protecting them. Children should know that their human rights are as important than adults, and in certain situations (like child abuse) all etiquette should be disregarded as the adult has lost any right to respect by dint of their actions. However I still don't think it's appropriate for a child to start telling an adult they're pissing them off (in so many words) - like the OP's DS did - they should withdraw from the situation as soon as possible and tell their parent.

I absolutely agree with listening to children and trying to empathise with them; like I say most adults will treat children with as much respect as anyone else, but if they don't then I still don't think it's the child's place have a go at them about it.

The GM's behaviour was poor and not a good example - but it doesn't give a child the right to be impertinent IMO.

I see both sides tbh.
Mil shouldn't interrupt your ds but imo its not up to a 6 year old to tell her.
I don't encourage or agree with my dc correcting adults, I just explain they too can be rude, wrong, ill mannered etc.

both children and adults need to know when it's appropriate to shut the fuck up and when it's ok to talk.

sometimes if someone adult or child monopolises the conversation them it's quite appropriate to jump in and / or tell them to zip it.

I really really detest the children whose parents think their every remark is so fantastic that they shush adults up to listen.
it's not the kids fault but it makes you dislike them.

no I don't think its appropriate for any 5 year old to be telling off his grandmother like that it's rude.

still wondering what she used your tweezers for? eeww.