To worry that my little boy is never going to talk

[grizzabellia]

My ds, aged 2 and 9 months has been very slow to talk and (after I insisted!) was referred to a speech therapist. We have seen her a few times now, and she has diagnosed an expressive speech delay. She thinks the problem is with speech rather than language - he has absolutely no other difficulties: his understanding has been assessed as age appropriate, he plays imaginatively with his toys, his interaction with other children is normal. The speech therapist has visited his nursery and observed all this.

I am pretty sure his intelligence is normal, he knows things like the names of colours and the names of lots of different kinds of dinosaur (which he can point to!) However, his speech is far, far behind other children of his age. He has a lot of single words but very poorly articulated and doesn't really try to put them together. It is really hard to understand him without context, eg a picture. SALT seems to think he has difficulty forming consonants so wants us to practice single sounds with him.

I just feel so upset and worried, that he will be going to school in just under 2 years (yes, I know it is quite a long time) - he is a lovely, bright, sociable little boy and I am scared if he can't talk by then he will be socially excluded and find it difficult to make friends, I can't bear to think of this happening - I think it is worse as my daughter is currently in reception and is popular and extremely articulate. i can't imagine him in this situation in a couple of years.

I have searched for similar posts but can't find any where there seems only to be this single issue, without any other identified special needs - just wondering if anyone has experienced similar and can give me hope? Any advice would be appreciated!

I have nothing useful to say, just wanted to say I read the thread and care.

My cousin didn't talk as a child either and had speech therapy. It's good that you are seeing SALT. My cousin is now in his 20s and yes can talk! He's quiet but definitely talks.

How do SALT see his progression? Are they concerned?

Yes, my ds was like this too. No words at all until 2.5. Then single words and grunts until about three. Then he suddenly took off, and at nearly 4 you would never know that under a year ago he was barely talking. He has completely caught up. Don't give up hope op.

My ds didn't have any other needs either. Just this issue.

My son was the same at that age but saying less than your ds. It wasn't until after a few months after he turned 3, where his nursery sessions increased did he begin to start talking. And now (he is 3 and 6 months) he doesn't stop talking.

So uanbu!

My son was under salt and signed off as they put it down to speech delay and shyness. They are monitoring his progress in the new year.

ds1 could only put 2 words together and only I could understand them at 3, he had SALT and now at almost 8 he never shuts up! his vocabulary and receptive language is pretty poor but starting school really exploded his language in a positive direction, as an aside he is now recently well almost diagnosed ADHD, with autistic traits but most people would never know, his speech is immature I would say but his pronunciation improves all the time its good that SALT are involved so early.

Sadly ds2 who is 25 months doesn't speak either :(

I don't have any experience of speech therapy, but I shared a lot of your concerns when my son was late to crawl and then walk. Firstly I wanted to share your worries, and say they are perfectly natural.
secondly you need to remember that you are in the hands of the professionals. Your speech therapist is trained to do this (and I assume works with children like your little boy every day). Try and have faith in her (not sure you said she was a she) but also speak to her about your worries.

FWIW my son had his first physio appointment at 5 days old. When I felt a bit more together I spoke to the physio about what to expect. Would he never walk, would he be much later than his friends? I might have cried as well!! She was really helpful in explaining what to expect and it was pretty exactly as she said. [he is fine.. but we had to work quite hard on it at home].

ask more questions of your therapist.
kxx

grizzabellia - your ds sounds similar to my own son (now aged five). My ds was slow to talk, and when he did, he was very hard to understand, even by me. Finally we got someone to listen to us and he started speech therapy aged three. He was referred for more texts and diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia. This means that he knows the words, but just cannot co-ordinate his mouth/tongue to say the words clearly. He says whole sentances without a single consonate.

My son also has a phonological disorder which is more common.

Like your son, apart from that, we are not really worried about his development.

It might be interesting to you to google developmental verbal dyspraxia, there are also a couple of Facebook pages.

I know how worrying it is, but it's great that he is already getting speech therapy and that you are aware of potential problems that he might face.

He sounds exactly like my friend's little boy a year ago. She was worried obviously, especially as I have a non-verbal child so she knows what that entails, but they had tests to rule out hearing probs etc and then SALT. Well this year I can't believe the difference in him, he's a real little chatterbox!

My DD has speech and language disorder, it is frustrating and upsetting at first, progress can be slow but when she says a new word it's a real WOW moment :) This week she said 'if' independently for the first time :)

I'll come back to this later when I'm on PC and give you some links to some great websites which will work alongside SALT.

My DS didn't really say a word until he turned three. I was also really concerned that he'd never talk but at the same time I didn't want to try and push him to fit in a little box. I get quite irritated with guidelines because I feel children are forced a lot into doing everything to fit them and if they don't then there's automatically something 'wrong' with them and they need help. Children all develop at vastly different rates and you also have to take things like genetics, whether they are the first child and also boys are generally slower.

Einstein didn't talk until he was four. My nan also told me my Uncle didn't speak until he was three so this provided comfort to me. I did inform the health visitor and she was also supportive telling me to wait and see and she fully expected him to suddenly come out with words... He did! Shortly after he turned three he just suddenly started having full on conversations with us. Words just spouted out one after the other. It was as if he had stored them all in his head and waited until he felt he had enough stored to explode! We couldn't believe it. Now he's three and 7 months and he speaks like any other three year old so he didn't need 'help', he got there on his own without being pushed or pressured.

I do realise some children genuinely do need assistance but I think two is too young to tell. Personally I'd give it a while longer and be patient. I've realised upon reflection much of it is to do with the fact he's a boy, the first born and the fact people in my family were also late talkers. Our DD's were speaking from a very young age so that's what I've put it down to anyway Have faith! I'm sure he'll get there.

On his second birthday, my DS was saying nothing, not even 'mummy'. He's now at school, with no problems, perfectly normal.

It's hard when you're in the middle of it but you need to be patient. He will get there!

You are obviously communicating with him without speech. Try not understanding. My DD wouldn't talk, I pretended not to know what she wanted, the first I thing she said was "I want a drink and I want it now".

In July my son could only say "mama", "boo" (for blue), "ack" (black) and red. He's now 2yrs and 8 months and says a whole ton of words, copies everything anyone says, copies me as I'm reading to him, puts two words together and today said a sentence for the first time. A few months ago I was worried he was going to start nursery next Easter barely speaking but just to see how much he's come on in a short space of time reassures me that by he time nursery comes round he'll be a chatterbox.

Your son will get there. It might be a slow process but he will get there eventually. One good tip we got from the specialist was not to correct him when he was pronouncing things wrong because it only frustrated and upset him. He would say "ack" so we were saying "BLack, BLack" but he couldn't do it. She told us to simple praise and repeat the word back correctly, so instead say, "Yes well done, black". I think that really help his confidence.

My little boy didnt speak until he was 3.2 years I mean he had about 7 words he could say,due to being very poorly healthwise but could understand everything for his first two years, We started speech therapy an learnt some sign language just after his third birthday this took the pressure off him to talk as he found away to communicate with us, it also gave him the courage to try saying the words whilst signing 8 months later whilst still behind from his peers we are having conversations, I completely understand him other people find it abit harder, so I would say he is about the age of two years to two an half year old speechwise, it awful when they are getting frustrated an lash out an your constantly worried but my advice dont put pressure on it if he asks for something make sure you say the word that he wants an it will come eventually. Hope this helps a little x

Thanks, it is encouraging to hear about people whose children have been similarly slow then suddenly caught up - I guess this is what I was hoping would happen (having heard all the 'Einstein didn't talk until 4' and 'his sister talks for him'' advice), and I was kind of expecting the speech therapist to be reassuring re this, but she has not committed herself and refuses to give any kind of prognosis when I ask if he will talk before he starts school (I think she feels I might hold her to it and sue her if her prediction isn't accurate!) which really upset me because then i started thinking maybe this won't happen! Saw her today and felt really tearful afterwards thinking about it, but on a day to day basis in between appointments I manage to convince myself he is making progress and has to talk sometime.

kelda - yes he sounds similar to what you describe in that he has problems with some consonants and makes mainly but not exclusively vowel sounds. Verbal dyspraxia was mentioned by SALT but only when running through possibilities, she says it is too early to diagnose this. To be honest I am hoping it is not this and he is just taking his time. i agree to some extent with the poster who said we shouldn't put children in boxes and expect them to develop the same - in a way I wonder how much difference it makes seeing the SALT, all the stuff she has told me to do so far seems common sense and maybe if we just left him to it and didn't worry he will get there in his own time.

I had, obviously, worried about autism (no family history but fil is a bit eccentric and there is a history of maths geekiness in the family!) but I have some training in autism diagnosis and he shows none of these signs. Similarly, with ADHD it would be too early really to spot this kind of problem but the SALT actually commented on his concentration being good.

Current SALT is leaving - she was v nice, but I'm hoping the next one may be able to give me a bit more of a concrete prognosis!

My son hardly said a word until he was three and if he did it was single simple words. One day he just started talking in whole sentences! It was really weird!

I was very worried about my dd at the same age. She had problems pronouncing lots of sounds and although she could speak in sentences, very very few people could understand what she was saying. She sounded Italian for some reason.

She got 1:1 speech therapy and then we had to practice things throughout the week. It was mostly snap games and pronouncing sounds whilst looking in a mirror to check the shape of the mouth is correct. It sounds very simple but it did work and she did improve hugely, but it wasn't until she went to school that she really sounded 'completely normal'.

I totally understand why you're worried, but you are on his case, chase the SALT up and ask for activities, keep practising and I'm sure he will improve.

Ill also add that I've since worked in nursery schools and a YR class. Lots of dc have speech problems and on the whole, children seem to be able to communicate without the correct words, accept each other and get along very well.

We don't quite fit your criteria since DS2 did have a lot of other issues. But FWIW, speech therapy did make a HUGE difference to his talking. Throw all the resources available at this problem now because it will help, and don't despair.

Just be encouraged that no other apparent issues have been identified by the SALT and take one day at a time.
Give yourself a time limit to revisit this if you're still concerned, say at 3.6 years and then try not to think on it too much until then.

Keep practising any exercises given to you by the SALT.

Does or did his sister do a lot of the talking for him? If he has understanding & is sociable I feel sure it is not a major problem - try not to worry 2 years is a long long tiime in a toddlers development!

Thanks for all the advice. I guess his sister talks to some extent on his behalf, but no more than other older siblings. She also winds him up and they argue so he does have an incentive to put his point across!

My ds2 sounds exactly the same. No speech but fine in all other ways, meeting milestones and obvious understanding.
At 3 he said ehh and no.....at 5 when he started school he could say me go, no no, go away, yuck and a handful of other words (even these words were very difficult to understand) I have vivid memories of meeting his reception teacher and explaining to her that he couldn't ask if he needed to go to the toilet etc....
He struggled a bit in reception and year 1.... It's somewhat tricky learning to read when you can't talk! But with lots of speech therapy and encouragement he has mastered it. His grammar took longer than his speech to perfect.
He is now year 5 and speaks normally you would never know he had had problems.

The same as CHJR my son has other difficulties & he did start school unable to speak. He could make only vowel & 'm' sounds.

He had a couple of surgeries to correct a late diagnosed cleft palate & had intensive SLT & whilst he will always sound different he can speak.

What I am trying to say is that even with all of my sons difficulties (he also has moderate hearing loss) he has still managed to learn to speak.

I'm assuming he's had all the standard hearing checks etc?

Good luck OP & chin up. I so wish I had been able to see in to the future when he was a toddler. Wolf have saved a lot of sleepless nights!

My youngest was very similar. She spoke her first words when she was 4 and is now 5 and is doing really well although she still has a significant speech impairment. We did a lot of makaton with her and although it was a slow start once she got the idea she really loved being able to express herself with the signs. The first one was biscuit =), the second " more". Signing helped her communicate and see the point of communication.
We were very lucky that she was offered a place with a designated provision unit for speech so she goes to a mainstream school but her teachers and assistants have experience with speech impairments. She also gets 1:1 speech therapy several times a week which means that she is making slow and steady progress.

There was a time when I thought she would never talk. Now there are actually times I wish she would be quiet =).

You've done a great thing in getting in touch with the speech therapist. I can thoroughly recommend Makaton.