To worry that my little boy is never going to talk

[grizzabellia]

My ds, aged 2 and 9 months has been very slow to talk and (after I insisted!) was referred to a speech therapist. We have seen her a few times now, and she has diagnosed an expressive speech delay. She thinks the problem is with speech rather than language - he has absolutely no other difficulties: his understanding has been assessed as age appropriate, he plays imaginatively with his toys, his interaction with other children is normal. The speech therapist has visited his nursery and observed all this.

I am pretty sure his intelligence is normal, he knows things like the names of colours and the names of lots of different kinds of dinosaur (which he can point to!) However, his speech is far, far behind other children of his age. He has a lot of single words but very poorly articulated and doesn't really try to put them together. It is really hard to understand him without context, eg a picture. SALT seems to think he has difficulty forming consonants so wants us to practice single sounds with him.

I just feel so upset and worried, that he will be going to school in just under 2 years (yes, I know it is quite a long time) - he is a lovely, bright, sociable little boy and I am scared if he can't talk by then he will be socially excluded and find it difficult to make friends, I can't bear to think of this happening - I think it is worse as my daughter is currently in reception and is popular and extremely articulate. i can't imagine him in this situation in a couple of years.

I have searched for similar posts but can't find any where there seems only to be this single issue, without any other identified special needs - just wondering if anyone has experienced similar and can give me hope? Any advice would be appreciated!

My DD ( 6 ) has a little girl in her class who has selective mutism, not the same I know. But she is popular and has loads of friends, so I wouldn't worry too much about that side of things x

Its a bit pricey, but I would recommend either of the Hanen books - 'More than Words' or 'it takes 2 to talk'

They are american, so some people do find them a bit OTT, but they were the best thing I have ever purchased for DS (speech delay - didn't speak until he was 3.7). They are meant for children with Autism, but they work just as well for speech delay.

The speech therapist did suggest makaton but I feel v resistant to going down this route - she did explain it was an aid to speech development not instead of but I just don't feel it is a positive step. I am so desperate for him to talk I would rather concentrate on his speech. It would be different if he had problems understanding then I could see the point.
Did look at the 'it takes two to talk' book having seen ut highly recommended on here but was a bit disappointed - it didn't really suggest anything that is not kind of intuitively obvious.
Thanks for all the suggestions, good to hear some positive stories!

Hi my son is 3 years and 2months and I totally understand your frustration and worry, its positive that he is seeing a SALT. I was referred in March and i am still waiting to hear from SALT. That's just for the assessment and if he needs treatment I have been told its another several month wait. I'm not impressed with it as I expressed my concern about his speech to health visitor but got fobbed off saying it will come, his speech is still jumbled although more words are coming. It is worrying and sorry I don't have advice but wanted to say I understand.

Grizabellia- can I ask how long you had to wait for an appointment from being referred to getting an appointment?

My ds (now 26) was very slow to talk, and when he did start used to miss our the joining words that make up the sentence. He also used to have trouble saying certain words and sounds and had a stammer. I used to worry my self sick about him and must have been a right pain in the arse hasseling the health visitor/gp/anyone who would listen to me about regular speech therapy. He had speech therapy on and off for 5 years when they said they had done all they could for him. By this time he was 8 and still had a few issues with certain sounds and a bit of a stammer when nervous. As he's got older his speech has developed like another child/young person alough he still can't say shoulder (says solider!!) in my experence when our children are little and have "issues" of any kind we imagine them still being the same as adults, but generally things get resolved hopefully with support and understanding from the right people.
Have you considered teaching him to sign as I think my ds and us would have found it a usefull skill to have x

Sorry just seen your post re signing-I would recomending looking into it though

My ds has a speech delay and is the same age as your ds - has been referred to speech therapy but also waiting for an appointment - his understanding is excellent - and I know he is "saying" lots of worda but he seems to speak in vowels but it is hard to understand - when he repeats what I have said it is just the vowels so if I say "do a jigsaw" he would say "do a i aw'" - he also "speaks" quietly so others eg at pre school don't realise he is saying something and as it's just the vowels it's not obvious what he is saying iyswim.

It's so frustrating for him and us - can't wait for it to happen and I don't enjoy having to explain his speech delay to others. People assume you don't talk to your dc or actively encourage speech which we do.

Did you read the whole book? Its pretty weighty and TBH I have never heard anyone say anything negative before.

op I used to feel like this. It used to make me so sad not to know what was going on his little head. Ds1 was pretty much silent, didn't even babble until aged two he said his first word, he also had no understanding until age two. He was seen by a SALT aged 2.5 by which time he'd gone from no words to having 50 plus and being able to follow instructions. He was discharged from SALT due to his very fast progress and he has continued to progress ever since. He's 3 now and still behind most of his peers but within the normal range. His nursery have no concerns at all and he's popular and bright. I sometimes worry that he's not progressing as he should but every time I start to worry he then overnight does a massive leap forward.

My middle child didn't speak until really late, but then spoke in full sentences immediately. I have never heard anything like it!

I found that the good speech therapists gave me as much guidance as I could have absorbed, reading a book wasn't going to help just overload.

Grizzab have you been given lots of guidance of how to speak to him, eye contact, clear enunciation, make sure he sees your mouth? Usually SLT starts with lots of listening exercises, have you been given any yet?

How is his hearing? Did anyone test that?

I am reading your original post with my mouth wide open as I could have written your post only today. My DS is just three and has exactly the same difficulty. Consonants. He has just started speech therapy and the advice so far is: keep language simple, don't ask any questions, lots of child led play.
Makaton is actually very useful - I have had plenty of wobbles about it replacing language but my current logic is, he can't talk, so any other way of communicating must be helpful to him and he will be less frustrated.

I started another thread entitled something like 'i honestly believe my DS will never talk' a few months ago (sorry not sure how to link) and there was some very useful advice.
Lastly, verbal dyspraxia is extremely rare so I have been told by a SALT. It is often misdiagnosed.

Ds1 started talking between 18mo and 2yo. DS2, DX Aspergers, ADHD, Dyspraxia and developmental delay started at about 2yo. DS3, didn't say an intelligible word until he was nearly 4yo. His brothers spoke for him, there was a 9 and 7year gap between them. I still have to stop him and remind him to slow down as I cant understand him, he's 14yo. We had SALT, but they were not very helpful.

Apparently, I was the same, I would point, make a noise and my DUncle who was 13yo at the time would run and get it for me. I didn't speak sentences until I was over 4yo and at school, when I started speaking in full sentences, with correct grammar and everything.

Now, you cant get any of us to shut up. He will speak when he is ready.

My DNephew is 2.2yo, his parents cant understand a word he says, but I can understand it all

Makaton will definitely not hold back on speech development at all. Many pre schools & nurseries around here know & use makaton.

Signing was a life saver for us (& actually other families I've met) please don't discount it. Maybe go to a training session & see how you feel then.

Hi - my ds2 was exactly the same in that he had no other issues but was very delayed with his speech.

By the time he was 2 and a half he had very few words, and those he had were unintelligible to anyone other than me and my DH. He even started to tap his chest twice when he wanted to say yes rather than trying to say it.

We were referred to SALT and from there we had to change our choice of nursery as they referred us to a local nursery where there was I CAN provision, which is help with speech and language in a nursery setting - it might be worth seeing if there is one in your area?

It was at nursery where they diagnosed that he had a speech disorder. I wouldn't say that he came on that much while at nursery to be honest, but it was helpful that all the staff were trained in how to help children with speech problems, they did a lot of work to encourage speech development in general and they had a speech therapist in twice a week to help those children who had issues with their speech.

Once DS2 started Reception it was still really difficult to understand what he was saying, and we were referred back to SALT in a group setting, which to be honest was absolutely no use at all.

It was only once we were given one-to-one speech therapy that it made any real difference - he came on in leaps and bounds once we started this. However, I'm not sure if he would have understood what was being asked of him if we had done it any earlier than when he was four or five.

He is nine now and has no issues at all.

My ds wasn't talking at all at 2, we moved house when he was 2.5 and the hv referred us to the SALT, who wouldn't see him till 3. She diagnosed a speech delay and we started working on individual sounds. At this point only i could understand him and we used a bit of our own madee up sign language. In this area they won't generally see children until 3. We have continued seeing her but it is very difficult to get an appointment, too many children, not enough staff, but ds has done really well. We have done a lot of work at home with him. When he started school in reception he was 4 years and a week old, (late August birthday) and he came top of the class in his maths base line assessment. So no other problems are apparent, just his speech. At 5, he is about ready to be discharged from the SALT, I'm just trying to keep himin the system as long as possible, to help with the blended sounds (ch, th). But apparently children are not expected to be able to say these sounds until they R my ds age, so he is no longer behind.
My ds had to learn how to say each sound individually, before putting it at the start of a word with just one sound after it, to full words, then using it in sentences. They used jolly phonics with him, and it has really worked.

My middle ds was slow to talk (he could say more at a year old than he could at 2- he just stopped saying a lot of words at about 14 months- 'Daddy' being one he didn't say again for over a year)- he could say around 11 words when he was 2, at 3 1/2 he started to put together words. He went to a day nursery and pre-school at 3-4 and had plenty of friends and by the time he went to school, he was talking normally. We mentioned to one teacher that he hadn't spoken until 3 and she was really surprised and said she'd never have thought that.

He learnt a few makaton signs and that was really helpful for him. He had speech therapy three times- twice in group sessions and the first time I found it a bit patronising- the impression I got was the group was set up around that the children didn't talk because their parents didn't talk enough to them , none of my other children have had a speech delay. His speech is still a little bit different to his siblings, some words he still can't say at all- but he can talk as well as anyone else now- he has really struggled with reading though.

He remembers when he couldn't talk- he used to say the lion in his head had his voice when he was little .

Just to say, one thing I remember the SALT being very clear about was that if a child doesn't pronounce a word correctly, it's because they are unable to at that point, and so not to keep on at them to try and get them to do it.

If they say a word ( for example, my ds would have said 'ah-uh' for apple), then we were supposed to model the word for him, ie, 'yes, apple, that's an apple' and so on.

We were also asked to speak to him in very short sentences, ie 'DS get ball' rather than 'DS, please can you bring me that ball'.

We also bought a book called 'You Choose' by Nick Sharratt that the SALT recommended for encouraging language development - it's a really good book and my ds really enjoyed looking at it and us talking about it together.

Another vote here for Makaton. DD is 2 years and 3 months and is hearing impaired (wears hearing aids) and has delayed physical development. It was becoming more and more apparent as she approached two that the pointing and grunting she has been using was not enough for her. Her frustration at not being able to communicate what she wanted was obvious. Our SALT arranged for us to go on a Makaton course which we did just after her second birthday and we are going on an advanced course in November. There were about 20 families on the course and we were the only ones there who had a child with a 'hearing problem'. The other families were dealing with other things - down syndrome, autism and some other conditions. However, we were all there for the same reason, to help our children be able to communicate. That is so much more important than the speech part. Makaton is not silent signing, they really push home the fact that you have to talk as you sign with the idea being that eventually, the signing will stop and the talking will continue. DH and I can do about 400 signs and DD has picked up about 20 herself but understands loads of them. Due to DDs needs, we knew that her speech would be delayed but this is a way of making her be more independent and happier in the mean time.
On another note, no SALT (or other health professional) will give a definitive diagnosis after a couple of meetings so don't be down hearted by her lack of commitment to a 'condition', it doesn't mean anything.

My outstandingly brilliant PhD student, fluent in 5 very difficult languages on top of his own, didn't speak a word until he was 5. He had SALT and was held back a year at school.

I hope his example encourages you not to despair just yet.

My little boy is currently 3 years and 5 months. At 2 he had not said a single word. At 3 he had said 'mum, dad, biscuit'. Now he has almost intelligible sentences. Today he was crying and I said 'what is wrong darling?' and he said 'I am very tired today mummy'. That is the first ever full sentence he has ever said.

We have a good friend whose son had not spoken a word when he was three. They were doing all the tests. They had another baby and one day their eldest spoke his first word. Which was 'I don't like the baby mummy'.

He is now studying medicine.

My point is- it comes. It really does.

My DD1 was exactly the same. At 2 and 6 months she said precisely nothing. She was walking everywhere outside at 9 months, she was meeting all other milestones, she was confident etc, etc but wouldn't say anything. I can't believe it took me so long to get concerned but it wasn't until she got her finger shut in a door hinge at toddlers and didn't make a sound that I realised that she just didn't - make any sound, ever! We went to the health visitor who recommended "Springboard Opportunity Group" (Weston-Super-MAre and Bristol area), they are a group that support children will all kinds of additional needs and we took her there. They diagnosed a speech delay and she had speech therapy as well. She is now 14 and you really would never know that she ever had a problem.

I would also recommend Makaton. I was the same as you and decided that it was not a positive step as I thought we needed t just concentrate on her speech, we didn't give up doing that, but she found it easier to use signs at times and it prevented her getting as frustrated as she would have otherwise. I don't know where you are in the country, but if you are not in our area ask your health visitor if there is a "Springboard" equivalent - honestly, they were fantastic. So supportive and helpful. I was worried about her going to a pre-school for children who had special needs - sounds awful of me, but it was a case of "but she doesn't need all that extra help" kind of thing and I thought she would be taking the place of someone who "needed it" but it was the best thing we could have done. Being one of the more advanced pupils also gave her confidence.

Don't worry about your DC, I am confident that they will "get there" in their own time, but don't reject any offers of help/ support, just take anything you get offered. As for his DS speaking for him etc, I have no truck with those theories. Kids speak, walk, feed themselves, potty train etc, etc when THEY are good and ready. I have heard older siblings blamed for children not meeting milestones and for being advanced in everything you can think of. You've heard ot yourself, I'm sure "little Johnny doesn't walk because Jane runs round after him" "Little Johnny walked early because he was keeping up with Jane" bollocks! (sorry!) Little Johnny actually walked when he was good and ready to walk! pm me if you want a chat

Oh, and Op, I have the Hanen book 'It takes two to talk'. I have barely used it, as my Ds was beyond that point when I got them. if you PM me, I am happy to pass them on. They are bloody expensive to buy new - was £46. I'll send them to you for nothing. :) They just did not meet my needs at the time and I would be happy to pass them on.