To worry that my little boy is never going to talk

[grizzabellia]

My ds, aged 2 and 9 months has been very slow to talk and (after I insisted!) was referred to a speech therapist. We have seen her a few times now, and she has diagnosed an expressive speech delay. She thinks the problem is with speech rather than language - he has absolutely no other difficulties: his understanding has been assessed as age appropriate, he plays imaginatively with his toys, his interaction with other children is normal. The speech therapist has visited his nursery and observed all this.

I am pretty sure his intelligence is normal, he knows things like the names of colours and the names of lots of different kinds of dinosaur (which he can point to!) However, his speech is far, far behind other children of his age. He has a lot of single words but very poorly articulated and doesn't really try to put them together. It is really hard to understand him without context, eg a picture. SALT seems to think he has difficulty forming consonants so wants us to practice single sounds with him.

I just feel so upset and worried, that he will be going to school in just under 2 years (yes, I know it is quite a long time) - he is a lovely, bright, sociable little boy and I am scared if he can't talk by then he will be socially excluded and find it difficult to make friends, I can't bear to think of this happening - I think it is worse as my daughter is currently in reception and is popular and extremely articulate. i can't imagine him in this situation in a couple of years.

I have searched for similar posts but can't find any where there seems only to be this single issue, without any other identified special needs - just wondering if anyone has experienced similar and can give me hope? Any advice would be appreciated!

Really common. Don't let anyone scare you.And don't compare him with other kids.

My DS 22 mths only word is umm. I wasn't too concerned it was more my partner so I range the Health Visitor to shut him up was shocked when she referred us he has also got a hearing test on Thurs.

We went to a speech and language drop in and he's been referred to "Helping your child to communicate" course (although I have been told it can take up til 14 wks to get on to course) as they say he is delayed they also suggest signing and we have been doing Makaton for a few wks now.
He can sign "thank u" also he didn't understand the word "yes" everytime u asked him a question he would shake his head "no" its taken a month but the is finally nodding his head "yes" but still needs prompting did anyone else has had this problem??

My husband didn't talk hardly at all until he was four and he is a very intelligent graduate now. He was the second youngest of four and with everyone else talking and a fear of getting things wrong he just didn't talk.

His mum thought that everyone worrying put too much pressure on him too so he didn't want to.

My brother was 3 before he said a word. I did all his talking for him . His first word was actually a full sentence, said in anger - and then he realised he'd blown his cover so he might as well talk!

DD had some pretty bad speech problems. Even my DM couldn't understand her at 3.11yo and DH understood about 75%. Most consonants were replaced with 'd' or occasionally 'b'. She was assessed and referred for one-to-one speech therapy. Then I told DD that I was going to take her to a nice lady who was going to help her talk properly, but that meant we were going to have to miss the usual activity that day. I was gobsmacked when she said "if I talk properly all by myself, I won't need anybody to teach me, will I? Then I can still do xxxx". Er, ok then! I still have no idea whether she was actually able to talk all along, I know she spent the next three nights practising various sounds in bed at night and she sometimes caught herself and auto-corrected. No SN, just perversity .

my dd was late starting to talk, had multiple issues in sound production and a stammer! we paid for speech therapy after 9 month wait on nhs, finally saw someone who went off on sick leave for 6 months!

anyway- i worried myself to death over it all- older children very articulate at a young age. did various bits of therapy- starting with single sounds, then beginning and ending of words, then the stammer.

it has taken 2.5 years (she is nearly 6) and both her teacher and speech therapist now think she is at the right level in line with her peers. she can be understood by everyone.

stick with it but really understand that it will slowly change- would recommend videoing as you go so you can see the difference. And reward effort.

I think also recording the difference somehow is a good thing. My Dparents live abroad and yesterday I was re-reading an e-mail I had sent them around his third birthday where he had pointed at his cake and grunted 'cake!' I was ecstatic. I can barely recognise that- in just 5 months from then his speech is so different, and I did not realise how far he had come. You really forget. Now he is a little chatterbox that just today I was holding my hands to my ears and begging him to be quiet!!!!!

My God daughter hardly spoke until she was 3 and looked a bit spaced out some of the time and didn't join it. At 18 she's at Cambridge reading maths and physics - probably not the right course title but I hope you get the gist. She's a quiet girl but utterly lovely and totally not on a spectrum.

Good luck OP.

We were only had to wait maybe a couple of months from referral to seeing the SALT - it was getting referred that was the main difficulty, kept being fobbes off by the health visitor !

Am wondering if I have read the correct edition of the two to talk book - SALT said something when I borrowed it abouy whether it was the one I meant
I didn't read it in detail but flicked through all the chapters looking for inspiration and it seemed to labour a lot of obvious things about how to talk and play with your child.

Maybe I should think more about the signing - thinking about it my ds has a lot of signs he has invented himself, eg for dinosaur and guitar, which he accompanies with sound approximations.

Oh yes,hearing has been tested!
Thanks for all the tips - some we had been told but not all.

So glad I read this thread.

my little boy 3rd child and youngest is 2 years 6 months says 3 words.

He seems to understand and hear fine.

he does not even use word mama on regular basis.

just points,screeches, drags me to things.

Been trying to get referral to speech therapist since he was 2 hv said he dident meet criteria.

He did 2 terms at preschool april-july made no difference said he was mute and were worried.

Hes not got any preschool/nursery place right now.

someone at school said try sure start but they dont seem to offer any thing specific.

finally went back to hv and begged please put him on list god knows how long we will have to wait.

His tantrums can be pretty bad and hes quite tall for his age people talk to him and i have to explain sorry he does not talk back hes not being rude.

In my head I worry about autism, verbal dsypaxia even found myself try to check if he orders his cars in any specific way.

Mobility wise hes very good climber, very fast on scooter and good balance.

I started to worry about my DD about the same age as your DS - i got a few shocks hearing younger or same age children speak very fluently and realise she was quite behind. She clearly had good understanding and a good passive vocabulary but was almost completely unintelligible to other people and often to me. She's now just 3 and the difference is amazing. I'd say her speech is still considerably less clear/advanced than many of her peers but we can have whole (simple) conversations now and I can understand about 80% of what she says. It is a great relief! I hope you find that your DS' speech takes off similarly.

I'm going on a 2 day signing course in Nov with the Makaton Charity as my DS is starting to get really frustrated plus my DD 3*6 yrs has unilaterial hearing I though it would probably benefit both of them.
My local children centre printed off the basic signs for me and I ordered a book from amazon its worth giving it ago!!!! And both of them love Mr Tumble from "Something Special"

I get insanly jealous and sad when hear 1-2 year olds nattering away

In my head think people must judge me and one person said do you think you do enough with him.

Hv very laid back says hes a boy ad his sister age 4 talks for him but shes in preschool 2 days a week.hv does not seem worried.

Had no idea why he dident meet the criteria. if there,s wait list would rather have got him on it earlier.

I have tried lots sound/phonics type toys.

Every month I think this is the month but hes not progressed at all

girls were talking by 2.

A friend at baby group said theres a lady in her nursery whos getting early nursery funding due to delayed speech so looking into that as hes 3in april so wont get fundng until next sept. preschool said he can start in jan-diffrent one to last year but really worried how he will cope as its quite a big one.

Oh I understand that. When DS was not talking much, another friend who has a chid the same age said in a concerned tone 'Are you talking to him?'.

Um, No, Of course. not. of course I am not talking to him. Why did no-one suggest that?

That pissed me right off.

Ps my DD's difficulty was and is also with consonants. I haven't done any particular work with her but she is getting there and just now in the last couple of months starting to 'get' the consonants. The 's' on 'yes' came about one week ago (she is coming up for 3.1), and though she often gets the consonant wrong, e.g. 'anoller' for 'another' or 'loot' for 'look', there is real progress and it's making her speech comprehensible (if funny).

excuse typos and grammar problems. So annoyed that I spat all over the keyboard. :)

Bloodied -understand frustraton lady who said this was actually a friend not a random stranger maybe I was being oversensitive.

Hes my 3rd suppost to be more chilled but he has problems with his teeth too girls teeth are perfect and hes super clingy,

Feel like im always worring, hubby says I over analysye.

left last preschool as wanted one neared eldest school.

middle child loves new preschool and he was suppost to jon her just been putting it off.

Saw anager old preschool last month and she asked in concered tone oh hos his speech has he developed over the summer we were really worried about him dident help. Hv says ignore preschool and chill.

In shops people chat to him and i say sorry he cant say thank you he does wave goodbye and can make pig noises ad sort of roar with his dinos thats about it.

The girls have this odd game as we walk by main rd called sainsburys lorry 1st one to see calls out sainsburys lorry then he sort of mumbles like hes trying to copy them.

He only calls mama when hes very tired or upset he doesnt use 1-3words daily.

When he was 2got letter from hv saying dont do 2 year checks anymore but he should be saying up to 50words.

I do worry others think assume he must have special needs or that im crap parent do lots with him . do need to find new toddler group but not sure thats the answer.

I SO understand you. At the 2 year check, my son was not even saying 'mummy' or 'daddy'. I was quite grateful because the HV, who is usually an utter dragon just shrugged and said the so-called tick box milestones were simply not important. She also said that children who are ambidextrous (which DS is .... both Dh and I are as well) are usually a solid 6 months and more behind in speech. I was/am petrified about labels, but he is just all of a sudden just exploding in his speech, but still a lot behind other children his age. Not in comprehension, it is all going on in his head, but in speech. And when he is tired his speech fails and he reverts to grunting and screaming.

its so scary wonderng ow he cope at nursery/preschool with older group of kids who can talk. hes hardly even says mummy.

I did ask for 2y ear check but hvs not done one shes so short staffed feel fobbed off like im being of time.

really had to push for speech therapy and have no idea when it will happen.

hes due to start school sept 2015 thinking may defer him.

other than that hes very smiley and so affectionate.

Thought it was just being super sensitive but went to a tiny talk class to do signing wth DS and walked in and he was double the age of the babies in there and I felt like crap.
1 of the Dads said to me "sorry can't quite gauge the age of xxxx" when I told him the whole class went quite never went there again!!!

sounds awquard skuntoo.

Its hard when they clearly look older when not talkng.

keep think why are younger lttle boys talking and not him.

hv keep saying go to a toddler group but not been brave enough yet.

I think f he gets to 3 and still not talking I be even more worried,

keep thinking maybe this month he can just add one new word.

Tell me about 3asAbird!!! I've have been going Toddler group on weds since his birth music time and storytime since he was 6 mths the speech therapist was shocked when I told her!!! Has made no difference there's 1 yrs olds that talk more than him.
Its hard when u have friends with kids a similar age as its like rubbing salt in the wound.