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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get my dc up every morning and drop them at breakfast club at 7.30?

69 replies

Whitegrenache · 22/10/2013 09:09

They are only 4 and 7!
I feel so awful waking them up from their snuggly warm beds and getting them dressed half asleep.

They have been fantastic and dp is working away so I have no other choice but I feel so damn guilty...

Please tell me I won't do any long term lasting damage to them??

OP posts:

spongebob13 · 22/10/2013 09:11

its only for a short while I presume yeah? listen I have to get my ds out the door by half 7 so can be in work for 8 AND he goes to after school care as well as not home til 5. boy do I feel guilty and especially when other people (who don't work outside the home) say "ahhh poor thing he must be wrecked"! but what can I do!

WandaDoff · 22/10/2013 09:14

Of course you won't do any damage.

In some countries school actually starts that early in the morning.

Anyway, they are warm, safe & being fed. That's a damn sight better than some children get.

KillerKoalaFaceFromSpace · 22/10/2013 09:16

People say that to you SpongeBob? Why do people say such insensitive things?

WhiteGrenache I have worked with children who have social, emotional and behavioural difficulties and with children who are in counselling. And not a one of them's problems stemmed from early mornings and wrap around school clubs!

The fact you have the obligatory parental guilt though shows how much you love them. I bet you're a lovely mum and your kids are happy and normal. Give yourself a break!

LittleRobots · 22/10/2013 09:17

When I go back to work I'll have to drop at childminders at a similar time (I'm a teacher). I'm hoping not to work every day as it does seem hard.

I don't think I'd do it if I had a choice - but I don't think they'll be damagedeither if you do do it. We'll have to at least some days :-(

LittleRobots · 22/10/2013 09:17

I'd be happier with breakfast club -at least they're in school. I'll have to drop to a cm to take to school!

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 22/10/2013 09:18

My little boy has been doing breakfast club and after school club since he started school and he was barely 4. He's now 7 and is thriving in all areas and is a lovely, sociable little boy.
I'm strict with bedtimes though, to keep on top of the tiredness.
So don't worry, needs must - they'll be fine.

waikikamookau · 22/10/2013 09:18

you don't have any choice? then why are you asking?
and anyway it sounds like a good idea, good socialisation. I had to take ds to nursery at @ 7 am!

singaporeswing · 22/10/2013 09:21

I was in before and after school care from being 5 until 11 and I've turned out absolutely fine.

That's not affected me whatsoever, but what did affect me was having a working mother, showing me that I could do whatever I chose when I was older.

Mumsyblouse · 22/10/2013 09:22

Mine prefer breakfast club to afterschool club (sometimes no choice) because they have more energy at that end of the day.

MrsBranestawm · 22/10/2013 09:26

You won't do them any long-lasting damage, OP. It's just what you have to do. Needs must, etc. My DD gets on the school bus at 6.50am for instance, because that's how it is here (not UK).

Original poster

Whitegrenache · 22/10/2013 09:27

Oh thanks all.
I do pick them up at 3.30 most days and they are in bed at 7pm every night.
I think I am over thinking it and feeling the whole working mother guilt. It may be a long term thing as dp may continue to work away but as some have mentioned they are brought up to have a strong work ethic and realise mum has to work to provide sweeties etc!
God we so put so much guilt in ourselves don't we!

OP posts:

YoureBeingADick · 22/10/2013 09:28

My mum gots us up at 5.45 and bathed us every morning so she could leave by 6.30 to start work in belfast by 7.30.

Tbh i dont ever remember thinking i was exhausted or that it was too early. I guess after the first few days we got used to it. Like you, she had no choice either.

Really dont stress yourself they will be fine as long as going to bed early enough the night before.

bigkidsdidit · 22/10/2013 09:31

They'll be fine. I'm choosing breakfast club over after school club as I think they have more energy in the mornings, and more to tell you after school. Don't worry :)

waikikamookau · 22/10/2013 09:31

you feel guilty if you do and guilty if you don't. imo

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 22/10/2013 09:32

A long day without time for a rest inbetween will tiire young children.

Make sure they're getting into bed early at the end of the day so they have a full nights sleep before you wake. After that, there's no harm in waking early.

oliveoctagon · 22/10/2013 10:03

I do this with my 1 and 5 year old. Doesnt tire my kids they are made from stronger stuff

oliveoctagon · 22/10/2013 10:05

And I dont get them until 5.30/6 and I dont feel one ounze of guilt. The kids love it.

Bumblequeen · 22/10/2013 10:17

You have no choice though. At present my dd is dropped and collected from school by me only due to being on ML.

We thought of sending her to after school club for a few weeks but did not have to as I started ML earlier.

For four years dd attended nursery from 8am to 6pm. I definitely felt guilty then! The number of people including my dmum who commented:
"She must be exhausted"
"It is too long a day for her"

She loved nursery and is outgoing and assertive as a result of being around other children from a young age.

oliveoctagon · 22/10/2013 10:19

It depends on your kids when I go on maternity for my third I am going to pay for after school club out of my maternity pay as dd would be upset if she couldnt go. In our family its the other way round I would feel a failure if she couldnt go to club.

kingbeat23 · 22/10/2013 10:20

My DD was disappointed today as she COULDN'T go to breakfast club today!

Bumblequeen · 22/10/2013 10:20

As mothers we feel so guilty at leaving our dc. It is natural to want to be there for them as often as we can.

It does not help when people usually those fortunate enough to be/have been sahm's make insensitive comments regarding our choices.

oliveoctagon · 22/10/2013 10:24

Same as me kingbeat. I have taken extra hours on at work to fund her going to club every day as if she doesnt go she misses her friends!

SpoonfulOfJam · 22/10/2013 10:29

Please don't tell me you feel guilty doing this for a short time with 4 and 7 year olds. I will be doing this with a 10 month old everyday when I go back to work after mat leave . My mom keeps telling me I won't be able to do it, but really I have very little choice (my dad was able to support 4 kids without her needing to work).
I can't afford to reduce my hours just yet, and my husband may not be in a position to do so either. I haven't even met my baby yet, but I know how hard it will be. I wish I could stay at home for these early years.

YoureBeingADick · 22/10/2013 10:52

spoonful I went back to work when my ds was 5 months old and he was in nursery 8-6pm. I also had no choice. I really do not think it affected him, he was a lovely sociable baby and happy to be there, he is now a very sociable boy. I really do think it made the transition to school so much easier as he was used to being out of the house for several hours a day already.

please don't feel guilty. it's so damaging to your own emotional health.

I met an old friend last week with her toddler and she said she felt guilty about nipping into the shop after work for half an hour before collecting her daughter from nursery as she felt she should be rushing to get her straight away. I felt so sad for her that she felt that way. she begrudged herself a half hour alone once a week after work.

yoniwherethesundontshine · 22/10/2013 10:58

so what if people comment its a long day? it is isn't it.

There are lots of things that we have to do to DC though, if you as the parent are happy with it, simply say so. IF THey do not seem affected by this ....long day...why not say so?

If they are tired why not say , yes it is, but there is no other way?

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