to keep the expensive stuff for me and let the kids use the normal stuff?

[2kidsintow]

There are few things in life that are reserved for me alone.

However, I buy the DDs the normal bog standard chocolate spread for their weekend breakfast pancake treat and keep the lovely Cadbury stuff for me alone, on a high shelf.

My children get taken to the cinema to Kids AM almost weekly to see THEIR choice of film.

At the weekends THEY decide what we do usually park, swan round Westfield looking in all the toy shops, McDonalds for lunch etc

They are kitted out clothing wise every season by either me or their Dad. They want for nothing.

Christmas and Birthdays, they get made a huge fuss of by me and all of their large extended family.

If I want to buy a packet of triple Chocolate Chip shortbread once a week, hide it till they've gone to bed and then eat the lot myself in front of Mad Men, I will thanks and there's not a molecule in my body that feels bad about that.

sparkylsilver you bad neglectful mother! kidsAM is not the same as the films just being released, how dare you take them to the cheaper version tut tut tut, I hope you make it up by buying the adult popcorn combos and noth the childrens one.

My sm did this to us. It felt awful, like we werent good enough to warrant the expense. It got worse when she had children with dad and insisted her children got branded chocolates etc whilst we got the cheap shit. I know your op was probably light hearted but stuff like this really upsets me.

jammie that is awful

No unfortunately they get the junior size popcorn seeing as they only want to eat it not bath in it!

It cost me £10 to take them to see Smurfs at the weekend if I'd gone two weeks ago it would have cost me over £40.00. Think how many packs of triple chocolate chip shortbread I could buy with that!

I know your op was probably light hearted but stuff like this really upsets me.

I know what you mean, I'm reading this and I know it's meant to be a joke, but it really hits a nerve with me :/

YABU. This seems pretty petty to me, and as has been said, why train your kids for bad food?

I tend to buy myself more expensive boots, because they will last me years. Gets dd the cheaper ones as it's lucky to last 6 weeks, they get replaced so often that if you add up the cost she does have more money spent on her for boots. ( It doesn't matter what brand I buy her 6 weeks they need replacing)

You know, I think it's the hiding bit that upsets me.

Why not just buy whatever it is, and make sure people know that it's mum's treat?

It's like people who talk about children "stealing" food from the kitchen.

I think we are getting a lot of very serious discussion here about issues completely unrelated to the spirit of the original post.

This always happens on MN and is one of its strengths - the original topic widens and diversifies into other subjects, only tangentially connected with the original topic.

However, the OP was making a serious point in a jocular manner - that we are more than "just" parents, endlessly sacrificing for our children - and hoarding something special, just for our own enjoyment, is a good way of reinforcing this.

I think it takes for granted that we are talking about "treat" items, not sentencing your children to a diet of thin gruel while you dine on fillet steak and seasonal vegetables yourself!

Cur That's what I do. He knows whats mine and he also will tell me not to eat his. We will trade if we both want and sometimes I will give him 10p for his money box as a trade

Tbh he has it pretty good

Its not like the op regularly gives her children different food. One treat to yourself is not setting them up for a life time of mistreatment.

I completely agree that if at every meal the kids get sausages/fish fingers/burgers while the adults eat chops/fish fillet and steak, it gives a terrible message. I don't think anyone is disputing that at all.

However having a treat of your own is a million miles away from that. Children can appreciate that they have their own things, games, toys, trips that are for them and if that occasionally extends into food then I don't think its a problem.

For those saying that children appre iate nice good, please come and tell my children. The amount of effort and fresh healthy produce I put into a meal directly correlates with how likely they are to turn their nose up at it. I lovingly prepared a fish pie, full of fresh carrots with peas and sweetcorn. Sauce from scratch and expensive gorgeous chunks of fresh cod and they all pushed it round the plate. If I give them fishfingers mash and beans they scoff the lot.

Tantrum's, I was raised with no junk food, organic squash, wholemeal biscuit (one) and brown bread. Lunch boxes consisted of brown bread with cheese, water or milk and a tangerine or apple.

Until I went to secondary school.

I spent every single penny I had on junk food and sweets. I was on a mission. I would buy family size bars of chocolate at the super market and eat it throughout the day, entire packets of biscuits, a quick portion of chips before I went home for tea (which I also happily ate). Secret ice creams when walking back home from friends.

I grew out of it only by the age of about 18. Being oddly, still quite slim.

The thing is though, my mum's food to me is still the nicest, and I LIKE brown bread and cheese, and I feel a bit sick if I overdo the sugar.

So despite the teenage blip, I ended up being quite "normal" about food and treats.

So anyway, THAT's what happens to organic treat free kids!

It is about the right of parents to act like individuals sometimes - rather than 24/7 self- sacrificing nurturers - and hoard a few harmless treat foods for themselves!

that

folk are getting all catsbum mouthy about neglecting children of nutritious food where most are talking about a packet of biscuits or bloody chocolate spread, martyrdom must be exhausting

But you know that you are an individual. I don't understand why other folk are getting all catsbum about the need to assert their authority over children (through the medium of biscuits) because they work hard, they pay the bills, they do the running around.

Seriously, what is the point of reserving special 'treats' for adults? If my self-identity and sense of adulthood was really that tied up with biscuits I'd be worried.

I agree heads down.

I don't see how stopping someone else eating something is showing you are an individual anyway?

Cadbury IS the cheap crap!! Especially since Krafts 'no, we haven't changed a thing, we don't have a clue why Cadbury's chocolate now tastes like a rancid oil slick, honest!' takeover.

Hotel Chocolat is the good stuff, especially their caramel chocolate

because it is something they like and tbh i dont hide the things I like and I hardly ever eat biscuits but the chocolate I do buy if it came in the house the children would eat it , this is going round in circles and turning into something it isn't a parent likes something the parent eats it the children get the things they like to eat It is no biggie really

Seriously, what is the point of reserving special 'treats' for adults? If my self-identity and sense of adulthood was really that tied up with biscuits I'd be worried.

Okay then change the biscuit for a tv programme or a Cd you want to listen too would you let the children watch what they want to watch before you ? a day out then should we allow children to chose every single day out until they reach 16 or do we allow ourselves something we want to do ? as parents we give everything to our offspring it is ok to have a little something for ourselves now and again be it a biscuit posh bubble bath the evening to yourself to read a book or whatever. that is what the whole point of the thread is about

heads when someone says that they feel guilty eating fruit or drinking juice, but give it to their DCs, if you have to sacrifice a glass of nice juice because you don't deserve it, but your children do, to me you either do not think you as a person is worthy of a glass of juice or it's taking mummy martyrdom to the excess.

I don't see a packet of biscuits as my sense of adulthood.

I do however know that actually yes I run the house and I earn the money. And if I want a tub of expensive ice cream I can have that. The same way if I want an iPhone, I can have one without feeling like ds2 has to have one as well. And if I want expensive perfume I can buy it and Dd has to make do with JLS perfume until she can afford to buy her own.

Because I am an adult. And funnily enough my DCs do not have a right to everything I own. Because apart from being a mother, I am an actual person. And it's actually ok to buy things with the money I earn for myself as long as the children have everything they need because I am certainley not bringing them up to think they are entitled to everything they want

oh and what TABsaid too

Food is fine.

BUT anyone who uses my posh shower stuff had better prepare to sleep with the fishes.

YANBU. I did it with icecream. I thought they were already having enough fancy foods, and they were quite happy with the cheap stuff. Meanwhile I was the one eating leftovers and if the meal was a bit short I had less potatoes or whatever.

Yes there is a big difference between them having what they need before your wants an having what you want before what you want.

"Okay then change the biscuit for a tv programme or a Cd you want to listen too would you let the children watch what they want to watch before you ?"

The whole thread's been about food. I did comment on an analogy with bubble bath earlier and I said that food is a different case because it has direct relationship with health, and that patterns instilled in childhood can last a lifetime, or take a lifetime to get over. Some reasons given on this thread for hoarding nice food treats for adults, and giving children cheaper alternatives include children "not knowing the difference", which I don't think is necessarily true and sends the message that what kids eat is not important, or that kids want to eat LOTS of ice cream, therefore is preferable to allow them to eat lots of cheap ice cream and withold the good stuff - which doesn't teach kids to enjoy sweet treats in moderation.

Now some people are saying that it's nothing to do with health, and all about asserting our adulthood and authority. I'm ok with my adulthood, I don't need to stick it to the kids by hoarding some special biscuits.