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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed at people who grab a table in cafes while their friends/partners queue up and order?

276 replies

silverphotoframe · 20/10/2013 16:33

Went to a busy coffee shop this afternoon. Long queue etc. By the time I got mine, I was left waiting along with a few other people who had been served before me standing around with our coffees in our hands waiting for someone to leave and/or ask if they minded someone sitting at their table. What really got my goat was that there were 3 tables that were taken by people who had friends/partners in the queue and therefore did not have their drinks/food yet. I see this a lot. Sometimes the amount of time it takes for someone to queue up, order and get their food/beverages is around the same time someone else could have sat down and finished what they ordered.

Luckily after a short time, a table became free which I was able to take. It just annoys me that people do this. I think if we have a queuing system for food etc surely people with the food should get first dibs on the tables. Would it ever be appropriate to confront someone and turf them off their seat?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 20/10/2013 20:14

M&S cafes are not worth queuing for anyway, they are crapola.

Rufus44 · 20/10/2013 20:14

Agree hullygully

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/10/2013 20:16

M&S cafes have cheese scones though, and they are the bee's pyjamas. Grin

Sparklingbrook · 20/10/2013 20:18

But Remus they can't do a bacon roll without butter. Shock And you can get most of the stuff in the food hall for half the price. Grin

Rufus44 · 20/10/2013 20:19

sparkling the carrot cake is the mutts nuts...huge queues to buy the sodding coffee though.

And there are two separate queues in the hedge end M and S both serving coffee so how ones that work if my queue is slower than someone else's and they nab my table which is mine by the right of first come first served!

alldirections so its you nicking my paper!!!!!

Caitlin17 · 20/10/2013 20:22

Morris Zap, I'd forgotten about Henderson's. As you say it works well there.

I never bag a seat, didn't do it when son was small and don't do it now.

I'd be more sympathetic to the seat hoggers if they were more willing to share a table, but in my experience quite a few of them seem to need seats for their imaginary friends who never turn up for the meal.

susiedaisy · 20/10/2013 20:26

Yabu. One person queues for the food/drinks the others get a table.
If I'm on my own I find a coffee shop that is quieter and has free tables or I ask a member if staff to help me get a table. If every where is packed I get a take out coffee/meal and eat it stood up or outside!

Rufus44 · 20/10/2013 20:28

Fairly hard to share a 4 seater table when there are already 4 of you.

Its a bit more difficult to find a table to fit 4 or 5 of you. At least with two people you can share or sit on a very small table

Rufus44 · 20/10/2013 20:31

And as my husband has just pointed out if 2 people sat on a 2 seater table rather than a 4 seater there wouldn't be a problem ( I know someone has already said that but thought I'd repeat it)

We have in the past squeezed round a 2 seater table...very cosy

badguider · 20/10/2013 20:35

I don't understand why anybody would use a cafe that is so busy? Surely it can't be an enjoyable experience if you're surrounded by hoards waiting for your table?

I choose cafes I can treat like a pub - come in, sit down, make myself comfy, meet whoever I'm meeting then one person goes up and orders for the table. Pleasant. And we can natter without death stares from the next people to want the table.

I wouldn't pay for a coffee in most of the places described on this thread - I'd rather get takeaway and sit on a park bench!

anon2013 · 20/10/2013 20:37

YANBU but I go find a table whilst DH gets the drinks normally if it's busy.

WhataSook · 20/10/2013 20:39

I got as far as dramaqueen's post and cant be arsed to read anymore. If you and your DH sat at my table and were so arrogant you would get told to fuck right off. In those exact words.

If you go to eat in a group and need to line up to order, then common fucking sense says ONE person goes to order while the others grab a table.

Tough fucking shit if you dont know that.

Honestly, the shit people think they are entitled to....

SatinSandals · 20/10/2013 20:39

Exactly badguider. It is supposed to be sociable, if I meet a friend we want a table. If we can't get one we go elsewhere. We haven't travelled 20 miles or so to meet to be left with food and no table and not able to have a private conversation!

notanyanymore · 20/10/2013 20:53

why is every one getting in such a tiff? in this situation, those with tables but extra seats, offer said seats to people waiting. In my local coffee place we're all forever moving furniture to accommodate everyone.
If someone just plonked themselves down and informed me they were having the seats that I needed for my mum and DC they'd end up very sorry, but if someone needs a seat and I have one going spare I offer it. CAN'T EVERYONE CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND JUST. BE. NICE!

SatinSandals · 20/10/2013 20:57

It is only a problem on MN.

MrsOakenshield · 20/10/2013 21:03

I'm dying to know who all these people are who can carry several people's meals and drinks on one tray by themselves. I was in a busy cafe the other day with DSis and DD, one of us couldn't possibly have carried everything on one tray, and we weren't even getting that much, and I wasn't about to park my 3-year-old by herself at a distant table. Fortunately that particular cafe clearly didn't have many MNers on it and there was no table hogging going on.

Rufus44 · 20/10/2013 21:03

I'm not in a tiff, I'm having a lovely time. I have never been in at the start of a very calm reasonable discussion about cafe etiquette!

No name calling, all very mellow

I am away for the week so if everybody could stay nice and mellow that would be great and then I won't feel that I have missed out on a bunfight

Thanking you all in advance Grin

SatinSandals · 20/10/2013 21:20

One of your party simply comes over and helps you with the tray when they can see you are ready or if you have a lot of people then 2 people queue.

WhataSook · 20/10/2013 21:22

Me Mrs, I can carry DH, DD and my own food on one tray. I suppose if you struggle to do that then you might have a problem.

Its not table hogging, its common sense! What is the diff with going to a restaurant, sure someone comes and takes your order...but arent you "hogging" a table until your order arrives (according to some on here).

SockPinchingMonster · 20/10/2013 21:23

Yabu - Surely it is common sense to make sure you have a table before you queue up, not much good ordering first and then having nowhere to sit. I always get the kids sat down at a table before I order, would be stupid not to.

HeeHiles · 20/10/2013 21:29

I'm with OP - Queue, buy your food, find a table. Dramaqueen is right - she has more right to a table if she has got her food - If I have my meal and there are seats available - I sit down - with my 2 children who are more than capable of standing quietly in a queue for a few minutes.

HeeHiles · 20/10/2013 21:30

Sock - that's the point - when you start to queue there are tables - but then people come in after - sit down and so by the time I have my food the seats are 'reserved'

Latara · 20/10/2013 21:35

What should a single person on their own (who wouldn't want to share a table with a total stranger) do?

MacaYoniandCheese · 20/10/2013 21:38

Oh, Hooray! It's been a while since we've had this thread.

MAKE COFFEE AT HOME OR GET IT TO GO.

Hth.

Bettercallsaul1 · 20/10/2013 21:38

YABU - grabbing a table while one member of your group queues is a normal, time-honoured convention and, quite honestly, how often is it really a problem?

A storm in a coffee teacup, surely!

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