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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed at people who grab a table in cafes while their friends/partners queue up and order?

276 replies

silverphotoframe · 20/10/2013 16:33

Went to a busy coffee shop this afternoon. Long queue etc. By the time I got mine, I was left waiting along with a few other people who had been served before me standing around with our coffees in our hands waiting for someone to leave and/or ask if they minded someone sitting at their table. What really got my goat was that there were 3 tables that were taken by people who had friends/partners in the queue and therefore did not have their drinks/food yet. I see this a lot. Sometimes the amount of time it takes for someone to queue up, order and get their food/beverages is around the same time someone else could have sat down and finished what they ordered.

Luckily after a short time, a table became free which I was able to take. It just annoys me that people do this. I think if we have a queuing system for food etc surely people with the food should get first dibs on the tables. Would it ever be appropriate to confront someone and turf them off their seat?

OP posts:
YoureBeingADick · 20/10/2013 16:48

My guess is internet bravado

ExitPursuedByABear · 20/10/2013 16:48

Oh goody.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/10/2013 16:49

Yabu.

They who sit first get the table.

Nanny0gg · 20/10/2013 16:49

Have you not KirjavaTheCorpse? I have, many times in busy cafes.
Maybe they're ones with a small number of tables.

Featherbag · 20/10/2013 16:50

My reply to DramaQueen in the situation would very much depend on whether there were small children in earshot, but regardless I guarantee that sort of appallingly rude behaviour would not have the desired effect with me!

Tuppenceinred · 20/10/2013 16:51

Dramaqueen - next time you go for coffee with your DH, go and sit at a table as soon as you arrive and he can go and get the grub. I'm sure you won't be hogging a table for more than about 3 or 4 minutes. I very much doubt that you and your DH actually do walk up to people and spout that little script, and even if you do I'm sure you've had plenty of people tell you to do one.
Seriously, you go in a cafe, take your family/mother/shopping over to a table, then you go and join the queue. In the meantime other people might have come in and joined the queue straight away. But - they entered the cafe after you. Sort that one out. Hmm
All this talk about the times when it might be OK, for example if someone is disabled - how the fuck can anyone know that? How will DQ and her husband know that when they march up full of righteous indignation to try to turf someone recovering from an operation off their table?

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/10/2013 16:51

If DramaQueen seriously does do that she is clearly working on the assumption that the person already at the table is alone and the combined force of herself and her DH will intimidate them into moving.

I'd laugh in her face and stay put.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 20/10/2013 16:51

The thing is if you're on your own (so have no one to save table for you) it's much easier to fine a free space on someone else's table than if you are a family of 5.

KirjavaTheCorpse · 20/10/2013 16:52

DramaQueen, so you're saying that you'd sit down while your DH ordered but immediately give up your table if someone who already had their food wanted it?

What if your DH was in front of the queue and about to receive your order? You'd get up and leave yourselves nowhere to sit? Really?

DramaQueenofHighCs · 20/10/2013 16:52

No I don't have a squeezed lemon face. I don't do it with children, elderly, disabled or those with young children (though I admit I think it.)

I dunno, I can kinda see the point people are making about reserving, but I'm afraid I've also seen the experiment done in a friend's cafe (where they counted customers) where they tried both letting people reserve and not letting them - it worked much smoother when they didn't let people reserve and they had just as many customers.
On the plus, I always offer the spare seats on my table to others if they need them. I'm no angel but when you live in a very small town with only a couple of Cafes you can't really 'go elsewhere' so I guess that's why I get annoyed.

dubstarr73 · 20/10/2013 16:53

Yes there are signs up in a cafe beside me.They even ask people if thy see them sitting without food not to sit in teh seats.
The place is always packed.I would only get someone to sit in teh seat if i have my 3 small kids with me..If im on my own or have my adult son with me i wouldnt sit at the table.

Tweasels · 20/10/2013 16:53

Why WOULDN'T you do this? More fool you if you end up stood around with food getting cold when if you had an ounce of common sense you'd have sat the rest of your family down.

And DramaQueen - very fitting name!

Screamqueen · 20/10/2013 16:53

Again only on Mumsnet, there is nothing wrong with getting your table first. I cant believe how rude you are dramaqueen.

SheldonsMeeMaw · 20/10/2013 16:55

I wouldn't bother going into a cafe that was already very busy with no free tables. I would however, plonk the dds at an empty table while I ordered food. I'm sure no one needs us all taking up valuable space in the queue.

Why on earth would I risk ordering food without knowing we had somewhere to sit to eat it. This is another 'only on Mumsnet' thing isn't it? Everyone I see does it. Everywhere.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/10/2013 16:56

DH sat DD (who was just recovering from fairly major surgery) at a table whilst he went to get her lunch.
He came back to find her standing in tears as someone else had booted her off the table. She was too shy to say anything. Sad

TiredFeet · 20/10/2013 16:56

Idont know if yabu or not, its a hard one. But what I do know is that I pretty much nearly cried when I took ds to a cafe as he asked to for his treat, he was too tiny to leave sat at a table on his own, and I was still really quite ill (was just recovering from hyperemesis so wanted to treat him but couldn't do much). We were paying for our drinks and this lady and her teenage daughter came in and she got her daughter to grab the last table, so ds and I had to sit outside in the freezing cold.

NoGoodPickingNames · 20/10/2013 16:56

YABU

When DP and I go I in a cafe. He takes me to a table and I sit there while he goes to order as I have disabilities and it is safer for me to be at the table instead of standing in the queue with DP.

When DC are with us they will sit with me.

If we can't see a table free we don't go in that cafe.

CackleCackle · 20/10/2013 16:56

YABU

Sirzy · 20/10/2013 16:57

I have never seen a sign asking people to find pay for food before finding a table. TBH if I did see a sign like that I would walk out because its daft!

jellybeans · 20/10/2013 16:57

I do it but only because I am not buying food if there will be nowhere to eat it..

skyeskyeskye · 20/10/2013 16:58

I have seen signs in cafes saying "Do not order unless you have a table". So they are telling people to get a table first....

I thought it was normal practice for one person to order while the others sit at the table and get the cutlery etc.

DramaQueenofHighCs · 20/10/2013 17:00

kirjava yes I would! And in the one instance where I have sat down on a table (was preg) thats just what I did! DH was second from front in the queue and a couple needed a table so I offered ours, the other people had got there before us so it was only fair.

Oh and you could all laugh at us as much as you like - we'd sit in the table anyway I'm afraid - did it at Marwell zoo with DS and when the people who had reserved the table complained to a staff member he told them we were quite right to do so as it was busy and we needed the seat before them! (Saying that he did also ask if it was ok to share and got them an extra seat - no probs with that!)

Anyway, I'm signing off this now as I can see I'm in the minority - fair enough IABU, but don't expect me to change my thinking.

unlucky83 · 20/10/2013 17:01

YANBU - If I am with my DCs I wait till we are next in the queue and then send them to find a seat -purely so I can order in peace ...
I find it annoying that people hold tables when by the time they are served someone else may well have finished and moved...
(all those with mobility problems etc are excused though)

jellybeans · 20/10/2013 17:01

'When DH and I see this we go and just sit on their table anyway and say "Well I'm afraid we need this table as our food/drink is getting cold. I'm sure there'll be another table avaliable for you when yours is ready, if not you may like to consider that it's people like you who take up the tables!"'

That wouldn't budge me I am afraid...

AgentZigzag · 20/10/2013 17:02

Aww, your poor DD Sauvingnon Sad

Hope she's alright now.

'it worked much smoother when they didn't let people reserve'

But in this country it's acceptable to reserve and the majority do it, it works pretty smoothly as far as I've seen, why fuck it up by taking the queuing order too seriously?

Too many rules made by control freaks too many people thinking they can tell everyone else what to do.

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