To get annoyed at people who grab a table in cafes while their friends/partners queue up and order?

[silverphotoframe]

Went to a busy coffee shop this afternoon. Long queue etc. By the time I got mine, I was left waiting along with a few other people who had been served before me standing around with our coffees in our hands waiting for someone to leave and/or ask if they minded someone sitting at their table. What really got my goat was that there were 3 tables that were taken by people who had friends/partners in the queue and therefore did not have their drinks/food yet. I see this a lot. Sometimes the amount of time it takes for someone to queue up, order and get their food/beverages is around the same time someone else could have sat down and finished what they ordered.

Luckily after a short time, a table became free which I was able to take. It just annoys me that people do this. I think if we have a queuing system for food etc surely people with the food should get first dibs on the tables. Would it ever be appropriate to confront someone and turf them off their seat?

[LouiseAderyn]

DramaQueen be careful with that particular approach - you are likely to find yourself wearing someone's coffee if you speak to people like that!

[MurderOfBanshees]

YABU, do love DramaQueen saying she obviously wouldn't confront disabled people, you'd know they were would you?

[CaptainSweatPants]

If I'm on my own I put my coat , bag, newspaper whatever on a chair before queuing
I can see my stuff from the queue
Don't see why because I'm frequently on my own I should stand tbh

[SauvignonBlanche]

Disabled people all look the same though - don't they?

[PrimalLass]

*It pisses me off when I see a large table occupied by a single person (I'd try & give them the benefit of the doubt & assume they are meeting someone.

Or that it was the only free table when they arrived.

[cakebar]

I'm afraid I do what Drama Queen does too, I have done it several times in real life. If I have hot food and need to sit down, I will find a table where there are enough spaces to sit and then say something like 'it's ok to share this table isn't it?' and then sit. If they object then I say we will probably be finished by the time their food comes (and we always have been). I don't really mind sharing tables. Many places have lots of tables for four with lots of couples sat at them, so room for another couple.

[AgentZigzag]

'She was 12 when it happened so probably looked a bit daft being 'babied' for a couple of weeks.'

I'm sure the 'babying' was enjoyed on both sides and didn't look daft in the slightest.

Who'd give a fuck if someone thought that anyway?

'I always go to cafes where there is table service'

And that's who's responsible for this, it's not the customers, it's the sloppy cheapo service you get these days.

Tesco cafes really fuck me off because I'm told I have to clean up my own table. As it happens I used to be a waitress and clean up any mess we've made just out of politeness and because we made it, but them being stingy and not giving someone a wage to do the job just annoys me no end.

They'll be getting the customers into the kitchen to cook the bloody stuff next.

[TheSherrif]

What a charming lot you are. What about the single person who has spent time in the queue,got a drink only to find there are now no seats left because people who came in AFTER him/her have bagged the tables? That's what's rude. It staggers me that time after time this comes up & no one ever seems to appreciate the other side of the argument.

[EvenBetter]

Just don't go to cafes. Problem solved.
Or if you must, go to one that has table service.

I say that as someone who has worked in coffee shops for the past decade and nothing on earth would make me go in one if I wasn't working.

[cakebar]

Having said that, I don't mind people reserving, and do it when I have hordes of kids with me, but also think if it is full, people need to share tables.

[PrimalLass]

Actually, in a table service place you sit down at an empty table and then get your food. No different in a self-serve place IMO. I get my kids (5 and 8) to sit down because otherwise they might get in someone's way and get hot coffee spilled on them. They are far safer sitting down.

DramaQueen, would you not get a seat in a pub and one of you go to the bar?

[holidaysarenice]

I saw this in costa, the last table and the man at the end of the queue sent his wife to keep the biggish table. Elderly lady at the top of the queue went to sit down and was refused quite ignorantly by her.

I was seething. (She completely reminded me of my grandma and was on her own).

My friend and I got up and offered her our small table. She was very grateful.

We then went and plonked our asses down with the other women. Cue evil stares. We told her she could share or leave. She didn't quite have the same arguement with us as we weren't little old people.

Bitch!!

[TunipTheUnconquerable]

I certainly wouldn't do what DramaQueen does and I don't think there's anything wrong with reserving a table, but I have been known to find a table where people look like they've finished, or there are spare seats, and do a slightly passive-aggressive 'I'm terribly sorry but would you mind if I popped my tray down on the corner of your table? I can't find any free tables and I don't want to drop it and spill anything on anyone....'

[Tuppenceinred]

I don't think anyone is saying that they'd object to someone coming over, checking there was space at the table and asking if they can share. It's the suggestion that they shouldn't be allowed to sit down while their food and drink are collected, or that anyone has the right to get them to move that's the problem.
They'd probably feel a bit less accommodating if a couple came over and spouted some self-righteous lecture at them as quoted by DQ though. A simple "can we sit here?" is normally reasonably received.

[silverphotoframe]

In my experience at least, the people who nab a seat before they have ordered are actually in the minority - the vast majority of people are like me and queue up with their friends or whoever. This does not cause chaos with millions of people just standing around, getting in the way and causing accidents. When I go into a coffee shop or wherever, obviously I have a look around to see if there is available seats, look at the queue, then can make a decision that yes, we there is enough to go around. Like today, by the time I had ordered, some sneaky little shits people had come in a took the seats. Despite the general consensus here that it is reasonable to do this, I have yet to change my mind. I still think it is ignorant. And the people who do this are in minority. Most people will not take a table until they have ordered. Also, if I go to a coffee shop, I'll either go on my own, with my DD (I don't find it a big deal having children with in a queue) or to meet a friend or 2. I very rarely see groups of 8 or 10 going into a coffee shop together. Its not the sort of place for big groups because the seats are usually a max of 4 seaters.

[CaptainSweatPants]

What about macdonalds?
Is it ok to let kids sit down while I order or should I wait tip they get a scalding from an outrageously hot apple pie?

[SignoraStronza]

YABU. I had my dc trained to grab a table and not move on pain of death from the age of 3 or so. Saves then getting under my feet when I'm carrying tray of goodies.

[Sparklingbrook]

I was in KFC once and a Mum and Dad had left their young daughters at an empty table and gone to order. A family came along who had got their food and just plonked themselves at the table. One of the little girls felt uncomfortable and stood up, the other one just didn't know what to do.

[LegoCaltrops]

PrimalLass - yes, it may well have been the last available table when they arrived. Which is why I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, & wouldn't have a go at them. Although if there really were no tables left, I might ask to share theirs. I'm sure they wouldn't mind, seeing as they had obviously sat at the large table due to it being the only one free!

[5madthings]

I always sit the kids at a table then go order, why on earth would I queue up with all five kids when they can sit safely at a table out the way?!


And if a place looks hideously busy I just go elsewhere, its not like there is a shortage of cafes etc generally.

[Groovee]

Sometimes when things are tough and I am in pain with my disability, I will sit at a table. Although, if you walked up to me and demanded I moved, I wouldn't explain I was disabled as quite frankly it's no one else's business. I have an invisible disability, so you can't see it. You don't see the amount of pain I am in.

I know dh's SIL who supposedly loves children flung a child off a table once in M&S cafe. But she's very rude to anyone when she doesn't get her own way.

[SignoraStronza]

I think dc1 (nearly 7) would probably tell any potential table nabbers where to get off these days, but conversely often ask naice looking biddies in Waitrose café if they'd mind sharing. Thankfully, the baby is a bit of a granny magnet so they don't usually mind.

[pastelmacaroons]

I do not understand the logic here, why would you want to queue and get something to eat if you were not sure of a table?

[Mrsdavidcaruso]

My local coffee shop has a notice to say customers are not allowed to reserve seats and anyone doing so will be asked to move for people who have already paid, funnily enough its very popular.

They are looking to put a sofa in for kids to sit on when their parents are queueing.

The best time was when some young girl spread her self over a whole table with her lap top, she got told to move over and let other people sit down, as I have seen the same girl in there a few times afterwards it was clear that she did not take offence, mind you it does serve the best coffee
and is one of the few not at all affected by a new Costa that opened so they must be doing something right

[sunshinenanny]

I can see both sides of this argument but lets come at it from a different angle! everyone is waiting their turn to be served and a group of people barge in push their way to the front of the queue and demanded to be served first. most people would consider this unacceptable. What's the difference?

That said I too would not order if I felt there were no seats available and if I sat down before my time and someone else who was in front of me needed a seat I would offer to get up. If someone who obviously needed a seat more than me was standing I would get up, I have also no problem with sharing a table with a stranger if the need arises it's good manners and common sense, something sadly lacking in the modern world.

Drama, you do come accross as slightly aggressive. The worst frustration comes from people who take up seats with no intention of ordering and my friend did have a run in with a couple of ladies doing just that.