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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to hate the way dp drinks tea?!

114 replies

InsultingBadger · 19/10/2013 00:17

Huge slurp in
Swallow 1
Swallow 2
Swallow 3
Swallow 4

4 swallows for 1 huge mouthful!

Looks like it is hereditary - dd 2.10 does it too.. Help meeeeeeee!

OP posts:

Kaluki · 19/10/2013 00:40

I'm so pleased there is a name for this irrational rage. Can't wait to quote it at DP next time he starts scoffing.

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 00:42

Fucking hell, I've got that Misophonia thing

Totally, irrationally apoplectic with some sounds.

In fact it's even crossed my mind to stick sharp objects in my ears so I don't have to hear anything every again.

If it gets too bad I just stick my ear plugs in, then it's p~e~a~c~e~f~u~l

Worse on the tea front, is someone who stirs it then taps the spoon on the side of the cup in a footy chant type way (can't describe it).

AlbertoFrog · 19/10/2013 00:43

I have asked DH not to break wind at the dinner table as I don't want to be eating with the smell of his farts in the air. He says he can't help it but I bet he doesn't do it in an important meeting at work?!?!?

Mouths and bums should both be closed when eating as far as I'm concerned.

DropYourSword · 19/10/2013 00:44

No snacking on the loo for you then jitney!

DropYourSword · 19/10/2013 00:45

Oops, frog, not jitney!

2Retts · 19/10/2013 00:47

Agent, I have an elderly relative who does that with the spoon! I think it's akin to the way they scrape at a bowl with a spoon for the last remnants too...agreed, indescribable!

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 00:47

I'm glad you said that Drop, I was getting a bit OCD about having to find 'jitney'

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 00:50

I was thinking about an elderly relative who used to do it too 2Retts

Probably something to do with the War, boost morale with jolly tea making practices

2Retts · 19/10/2013 00:52

D'ya think Agent? It's a plausible argument...I'll run with that and engage my 'coping techniques'

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 01:02

at your coping techniques.

It's funny because I'm really good at tuning out most sounds and can work fine with tons of background noise, but others are nails down the blackboard and I do get totally OTT angry about them, getting further on than just skull cleaving and imagine how I'd get hold of the pickaxe I want to put in DH's head

2Retts · 19/10/2013 01:02

Mouths and bums should both be closed when eating as far as I'm concerned.

Brilliant Alberto! Should be in the Misophonia Handbook

2Retts · 19/10/2013 01:05

Agent we are Misophonia twins!

I am not a violent person but I seriously want to do some graphic damage when my DF eats cereal.

TheGhostofAmandaClarke · 19/10/2013 01:05

I thought I had this because of my extreme irritation at some ppl's eating/ tapping noises. But my DS's eating sounds like the music of beautiful angels so that's that theory blown. I am clearly just intolerant

Naoko · 19/10/2013 01:08

Misophonia's very real. My best friend has it really badly. And, having had a name put to it by him, I suspect my dad has it too. Growing up I was just brought up to eat very, very quietly (just good manners surely) and even eat crisps without crunching beyond the absolute minimum and that was normal, to the point where it now really annoys me when other people don't, but looking back I think my dad's extreme insistence on this went a bit beyond normal instilling of manners.

Does mean that I now eat so quietly my best friend who cannot, cannot tolerate people eating around him generally is ok with me eating in his presence, and is even willing to have me cook for both of us :)

2Retts · 19/10/2013 01:15

Agreed Naoko, I don't really know how mine started but it definitely impacted on my DC's to the point where they are significantly aware and are accepted by everyone as having 'impeccable manners'.

TwoStepsBeyond · 19/10/2013 01:20

DS does this, one big gulp of water, then 'drinks' it from his mouth. Weird! I'm glad he's not the only one and that website is a real find, thanks.

I always thought XH was an arse for picking on DS (and anyone else really) for eating noisily, touching their teeth with cutlery, breathing heavily, grinding their teeth etc. even though he was a terrible tea slurper himself.

My pet hate is the nibbley noise nail biters make. Drives me insane. I can just about cope with apple eaters and crisp munchers (although it annoys me in the cinema) but that faint lip smacking, chewing sound is enough to send me over the edge.

I actually used to cry as a kid when my DB whistled as the noise annoyed me so much, so I think I may be a little sensitive to sound.

Kaluki · 19/10/2013 01:22

My ex FIL wore dentures and his teeth used to make a clunking noise when he ate. I just could not go there for dinner it used to make me shabby!!

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 01:23

2Retts.

I wish mine were eating noises, one of them is a small noise DH makes breathing when he's asleep, not snoring but like a click as he breathes out.

See? It's totally rational in that sense, he's making it while he's breathing so if I stop him breathing the noise will stop

Anther is our 19 year old cat who screeches when she wants something/randomly. I keep The Rage under control because it's not her fault and she's a bit doolally and vulnerable being so old, but fucking hell it's so loud and she can go on for fucking hours!

2Retts · 19/10/2013 01:28

I think there is also a honeymoon period as far as misophonia goes.

My DC's didn't affect me when they had no control over their noises. My serious relationships all showed signs of annoyance in the early days which I could essentially ignore until we were comfortable; then it became a bone of contention.

'Training' current DP who seems ridiculously oblivious but I know we have to deal with it now to survive long term...it really is that serious (thankfully he is committed).

Perhaps you're not just intolerant TheGhostofAmandaClarke

2Retts · 19/10/2013 01:33

Aw Agent, you have my complete sympathy!

I have to confess, sleeping syndromes are my weakness...I do it all and feel for my poor DP in that respect; teeth grinding, sleeptalking, sleepwalking etc not good

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2013 01:45

It has made me think though about what it must be like if it's your baby screaming that gives you that rage (thankfully my DDs didn't).

Being tired definitely makes my hearing sharper, to the point that I can feel it physically, so to have it programmed (through no fault of your own, babies crying triggers something biological (IMO)) like that to a baby who cries a lot must be absolute torture.

RubyGoat · 19/10/2013 01:59

Huge revelation! I have an intermittent hearing defect which, when it's playing up, is actually a good thing (with this specific issue) as I don't have to hear other people's vile mouth noises. Sometimes I feel very stabby about the noises people make & could never understand why other people were not bothered by them.

Titsalinabumsquash · 19/10/2013 02:20

I have level 9 misophonia diagnosed by a psychologist.

It took so many years before I found out what it was but suffered from the word go.

I used to pass out and vomit on the spot at the sound of power tools or motorbikes as a child, it's not just eating sounds, my worst ones are snoring, scraping of something like a shovel on a road, grunting or constant throat clearing...

MistressDeeCee · 19/10/2013 02:36

DM phones me when she's eating. Drives me up the wall..convo interspersed with chew (loudly) gulp & swallow

DP slurps his tea too. I have to remove myself from room immediately when he starts.

These 2 things tempt me to get the hammer from under the sink & just start swinging indiscriminately

AGnu · 19/10/2013 02:46

DH's family are awful tea drinkers! FIL will pause mid sentence to sip his ridiculously hot tea so everyone has to wait for him to start talking again! BIL is even worse. He starts drinking his tea the moment it's out of the kettle & does this horrible loud inhaling while bringing the cup to his mouth & then slurps loudly before exhaling. DH does these things when we've been around his family but stops after about a day of me pointing it out every time he does anything!

Don't even get me started on the way FIL tosses food into his mouth. Every single mouthful is brought halfway up, pause & then one swift flick of the wrist sees the food into his mouth & the fork back to his plate. How hard is it to just raise your fork gently, place the food in & carefully lower the fork again?! Somehow I seem to manage it with every mouthful!

DH bites his fork on a regular basis when he imitates his father's eating habits. One of these days you'll see me being carted off in the back of a police car leaving behind a scene of utter devastation in the dining room. DH & his entire family will be wheeled out of stretchers with various pieces of cutlery stuck in them. I'm tempted to make voodoo dolls of them all & jab them with teeny tiny dolls-house forks when they eat.

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