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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the midwife will not give two hoots about my bikini line?

337 replies

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/10/2013 22:02

I'm going into hospital in just over a week to be induced, I can not see my bikini line and am disinclined to brandish a razor and any sharp bladed object near something I cannot see.

So will the midwife even notice let alone care?

OP posts:
zzzzz · 19/10/2013 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Writerwannabe83 · 19/10/2013 15:18

Grin @ fakebook - your post about Gok Wan made me laugh!!
I always pluck my eyebrows but do treat myself to a wax every now and then. My sister has eyebrows that tend to get out of control at times so it regularly getting them waxed....and now, thanks to you, my mind can't stop thinking about her bikini line!! Haha. Grin

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 15:18

He'd be wrong in my case. I last waxed my eyebrows in June but I shave weekly.

Fakebook · 19/10/2013 15:23

Zzzzz, I'm sure your eyebrows are naturally beautifully shaped. Wink.

Writer, sorry Grin

Lj8893 · 19/10/2013 15:50

He would be wrong in my case!

My eyebrows are always perfectly groomed, I'm abit obsessive about them!

My pubes......not so much!

curlew · 19/10/2013 15:51

I hate the language people use. Tidy. Clean. Neat. Yeti. Messy.

You do all realize that this is all completely new thinking, and informed by the porn industry, don't you? Women in porn have always removed their pubic hair so as not the block the view.

Is anyone old enough to remember Princess Diana talking about havering a feeling of destiny and keeping herself "tidy" (ie virginal) for what was to come.

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 15:56

It's not new thinking though, people have done it for hundreds of years. Obviously not to the extent of now, but modern inventions have made it easier.

Why do people think it's acceptable to shave ones legs but god forbid they shave their fanny - they've been brainwashed by the porn industry Hmm

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 19/10/2013 15:57

Apology accepted Bunbaker I have requested my posts be removed because in hindsight I feel it's a bit 'over-sharing' / TMI Smile

My comments about body hair only relate to my own and not other people's so I am sorry some people are taking comments that way. My feelings are purely my personal preference (though socially conditioned I'm sure).

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 16:01

I shave and have never watched porn so I'm confused as to how I would have been influenced...

digerd · 19/10/2013 16:08

I do remember in the 60s being shaved immediately arriving in hospital in labour. A bath and an anenema but can't remember the order in which they were done. This was the practice then .

Not being allowed out of bed for the first 3 days after giving birth.

Don't know when that all changed.

BlackbeltinBS · 19/10/2013 16:09

I had an emergency C-section and through the blur remember clearly the male midwife brandishing a Bic at me and saying, "Now are we going to have to shave you?" (to which my reply was - I've no idea, I've never had a baby before, and I haven't been able to see what's going on down there for weeks). Itchy regrowth around scar not my favourite experience. Second time round (ELCS) I went for a wax a few days before largely to take off the top part they were going to have to shave - only this time round they wanted it all off for the section, so they Bic'd the lower half anyway.

notthefirstagainstthewall · 19/10/2013 16:10

*Why do people think it's acceptable to shave ones legs but god forbid they shave their fanny - they've been brainwashed by the porn industry Hmm

Because it is all brain washing.

So 20 years ago a well plucked arch eyebrow was essential. Now it's a sign you are old and it's a thick line over each eye is essential. Same with bushes. Seeing a grainy expanse of funny coloured skin with some flappy bits of skin hanging out looks no better than a curly triangle of pubes actually. It's fashion based on people thinking their untidy or unsexy if they don't make the effort. I hate blokes with shaved pubes, it's looks so unsexy and try hard and the same goes for women old enough to know better.Yes, it's OK to look like a pornstar when you're 20 but then grow out off it.

digerd · 19/10/2013 16:16

A 'V' shaped high pointed eyebrow, now reveals an overdose of Botox Grin. They call it ' Spock' eyebrows.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 16:19

I think that's very judgemental notthefirstagainstthewall

Some people prefer to trim/save/wax other don't, why would you care what another woman chooses to do with her pubic hair? It's their choice.

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 16:23

Saying it is all brainwashing is completely ignoring the free thought of women though. I fully accept that we are influenced by the media (companies create problems that weren't there so they can sell their product) but women still have a choice. If they're common sense and KNOW that this 'brainwashing' is going on then they can make an informed choice. I made an informed choice when I wanted to have nice silky smooth legs, I like the feel of it. I like the look of it. I don't even wear dresses or skirts but still do it.

I think people should stop condemning other's choices, and let them do what they want with their own bodies instead of either saying they're wannabe pornstars or want to look like children, or on the other scale saying they're messy and untidy.

MsIngaFewmarbles · 19/10/2013 16:23

Student midwife here.

Genuinely couldn't care less and certainly don't comment to either women or colleagues. The only thing that goes through my head occasionally is 'bugger that'll itch growing back' with the completely bald women.

Personally I trimmed before labour as I do before a period, because otherwise I feel messy. My fanjo my choice, your fanjo your choice. :)

Sleeptimenow · 19/10/2013 16:27

I'm a nurse and honestly don't really notice, my priority is hygiene to prevent infection ( most of my patients have catheters) and never found any difference with or without pubes.

I look after very sick people and if they are conscious enough I ask them for their personal hygiene preferences so I can help them feel as comfortable as possible. Regularly shave men's faces if they want and have helped women with all sorts of shaving ( have found younger women get particularly upset not being able to shave underarms). Some patients apologise for not being 'tidy' which myself and the other nurses find sad- we always say that it honestly doesn't make a difference to us, there are more important things to think about when you are ill, and if anything we can do to make them feel more 'normal' just let us know (getting family to bring in special scented moisturiser and washing and drying hair is a favourite).

To be honest you tend to find women just don't care as much when they are feeling ill so would expect the same sort of thing applies to midwives and pregnant women, not high on list of priorities. it's a personal preference issue and I would never think anyone is odd not shaving their bikini line, and it is totally unprofessional to comment on it anyway.

Personally My baby is due next week and have been keeping the area tidy but that's because I swim regularly, doing it by feel now as can't see a bloody thing, DH says it's a bit wonky but no worse than usual!

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 16:30

You sound lovely sleeptime

I do have to say I apologised for my pubes when I was catherterised. I was 17 then though and thought it was shameful Hmm

zzzzz · 19/10/2013 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GobblersKnob · 19/10/2013 16:42

I have to admit that I find a removed bush astonishly unattractive in either sex, very 'last turkey in the shop-esque' but that is just my personal opinion, I feel a nice cushion of hair is far more fitting, but I am sure loads would not agree.

The more threads like this I read the more I am tempted to give up all hair removal, not that I do that much of it anyway, bit I am very tempted to grow my pits back in, why not? It's just hair.

I can remember being excited to get my first pubes, it was a sign that I was growing up and becoming a woman. However talking to several young women friends in their very early twenties (am currently doing a degree) they report all being terrified when they first grew pubes and instantly shaved them off from the word go, all of them hate the idea of hair there and say there is no way they would ever let a boyfriend see them in anything but a fully shaven state for fear of his reaction, be it disgust or ridicule.

I cannot express how much I do not want this for my daughter Sad.

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 16:48

DP is ashamed of his hair and keeps trying to shave it off. It's annoying me because I love his hair!

I twiddle it

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 19/10/2013 16:48

I definitely think the best way to persuade women that natural pubic hair is preferable is to go on about how unattractive genitals are without it. I mean, that's not body-shaming at all. Hmm

  • Not everyone has the same feelings about their body hair
  • Not everyone has the same types (or quantity) of body hair - it varies hugely
  • Not every adult HAS body hair on their pubis
PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 16:54

I have to admit that I find a removed bush astonishly unattractive in either sex, very 'last turkey in the shop-esque'

Good to know, a close friend of mine is going through chemo. I'm sure she would be thrilled to be compared in this way.

notthefirstagainstthewall · 19/10/2013 16:59

"I think that's very judgemental notthefirstagainstthewall

Some people prefer to trim/save/wax other don't, why would you care what another woman chooses to do with her pubic hair? It's their choice.

Well it IS all about being judgmental isn't it. If you don't follow the fashion to "tidy up" you are judged as messy, unclean and outdated. I have friends who shave their bits completely and more friends that don't. I have a friend that has no sense of style at all.I do judge her lack of style but also understand where it comes from hence we are friends.

The fact that someones birthing experience is now fraught by worries around how much hair is acceptable is why I give a judgmental opinion and "care" about other women's choices. If no one cared about other women's choices then why would the Op post?

curlew · 19/10/2013 17:03

There is a woman on this thread who has so bought into the myth that an adult woman's body is hideous unless depilated that she can't bring herself to go for a smear test.

Might that make any of you pause for thought?