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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the midwife will not give two hoots about my bikini line?

337 replies

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/10/2013 22:02

I'm going into hospital in just over a week to be induced, I can not see my bikini line and am disinclined to brandish a razor and any sharp bladed object near something I cannot see.

So will the midwife even notice let alone care?

OP posts:

RaRa1988 · 21/10/2013 18:37

Well, in that context I can totally understand you. But as a general principle, I don't think there's much difference. Personally, though, I'll be putting some mascara on at least - I'm just not confident enough to be seen without.

JenaiMorris · 21/10/2013 18:40

It is different because a lack of mascara doesn't elicit the disgust you mention, RaRa.

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 19:02

"I'm 24 and the preference of all men in vaguely my age bracket over the last few years (you might be surprised how often it comes up in conversation) is for women to be 'tidy', 'neat', 'shaved', or 'trimmed'. They generally seem to consider a 'full bush' nothing short of disgusting."

I find that statement so depressing. It is that type of thing I was alluding to in an earlier post - the expectations of young men these days and what DD will have to face when she is older.

Lj8893 · 21/10/2013 19:06

^ I find that statement sad too. But like I said up thread I'm 25 and knew very few men in my age bracket that thinks like that.

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 19:12

Oh, that's comforting. Maybe it depends on the type of men you know.

Lj8893 · 21/10/2013 19:15

Perhaps! To be honest the few men I do know that would say a full bush wasent nice etc are pretty immature and self obsessive and probably shouldnt be too fussy IMO!

SomethingOnce · 21/10/2013 20:42

Personally, though, I'll be putting some mascara on at least - I'm just not confident enough to be seen without.

RaRa, I find it astonishing that you say that. I mean, it's not the first time I've heard a similar sentiment by any means, but it never ceases to make me go

Realistically, however attractive you are, how much difference to your appearance do you think it makes, that your confidence suffers for the lack of it?

This gloopy crap in a tube seems to have magical powers. It's odd though, because all I see is the same woman with pigment stuck to her lashes - I'm just not getting the magic.

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 20:51

Mascara for a labour suite! Why? After several hours you won't look great anyway. A mascaraless face would surely look better than a hot sweaty face with black smudges all over it.

RaRa1988 · 21/10/2013 20:52

Dunno. I don't wear a lot of makeup by any means, but I do think I'm clever enough with what I do use to highlight my good features and make myself look better. Without mascara, I tend to look more tired - there's something about it that seems to open up my eyes and draw attention to them.

Bunbaker: It probably does depend on the sort of men you know and associate with - I'd imagine preference differs as it does with most other things. But your DD doesn't have to grow up with anything if she is strong enough and confident enough in herself to be who she wants to be. That confidence is perhaps the best gift you can give her and, as you feel the way you do about young women being judged so much on their appearance, I'm sure you will and she'll be all the better for it . But if she chooses to shave or trim her pubic hair, don't judge her for it.

Original poster

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2013 21:09

Christ NO NO I am not going to let anybody talk me into mascara for this particular situation no matter how wonderful the stuff is.

I just want to arrive have a baby not worry about what I look like have a shower then go home.

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 21:19

Thank you RaRa. That sounds pretty sensible advice. Having a teenager is a minefield (sigh)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/10/2013 21:20

RaRa - you are going to be giving birth. You will be running with sweat in all probability, at which point the mascara will make you look like Alice Cooper.

I think we all look more tired without mascara, that is the purpose of it after all. Doesn't mean that you should be worrying about needing to wear it for labour!

WilsonFrickett · 21/10/2013 21:33

Oh no, get a wax. I had an emergency section and they dry shaved me. Fucking itchy when it grew back - drove me insane on top of the c-section scar pains and aches plus bf hassles. it really was the straw which broke the donkey's back in my case.

HorryIsUpduffed · 21/10/2013 21:34

I don't want mascara in labour. But I sure as fuck want it as soon as possible afterwards before anyone takes any photos.

Pigsmummy · 21/10/2013 21:45

Have a tidy up, I did, with a mirror, when you are in labor your subconscious takes over and anything worrying you will come out. If you have a little trim, with aforementioned mirror/no labia snipping please then you won't worry about that.

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 21:46

"I think we all look more tired without mascara"

I don't think so. I have dark eyelashes anyway. On the odd occasion I do wear it people think I am wearing false eyelashes!

RaRa1988 · 21/10/2013 22:08

Bunbaker : I don't think it's got anything to do with the colour of your eyelashes, more the shape/curve of them than anything. I think it makes me look more awake and attractive because it curves my eyelashes and opens up my eyes.

I do agree with you that shaving/trimming or not should be personal choice, but I think you have to accept that my generation and today's teenagers are more likely to shave/trim than not. It's just the done thing; it's normal for us. For me, there's never been any other way, and I can't imagine just letting it grow wild. I find that a repulsive concept, and I know that my DP feels the same way and wouldn't want to go anywhere near me. My that's my/our choice. I'm not judging yours - just saying it's not right for me and I don't understand it because it's so far from what I know.

SomethingOnce · 21/10/2013 22:16

You will be running with sweat in all probability, at which point the mascara will make you look like Alice Cooper.

Alibaba, thanks for making me laugh for the first time today A labouring Alice Cooper - terrifying!

Sleepgrumpydopey · 21/10/2013 22:17

I went for a holly wood wax before having my baby. It hurt so much I had the right side done and couldn't take anymore so said I'd come back the nxt day so she could wax the other half.

I never went back!

Original poster

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2013 22:20

I think providing you are making a choice for your own bikini line and nobody else's its totally up to you.

But I am very very glad that its highly unlikely anyone under 30 will be getting close enough to mine to express an opinion unless its a HCP amd there opinion is a medical one.

OP posts:

Original poster

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2013 22:20

What the jeff is a Hollywood?

OP posts:

SomethingOnce · 21/10/2013 22:21

A little bit of grooming isn't necessarily a bad thing, but

I find that a repulsive concept, and I know that my DP feels the same way and wouldn't want to go anywhere near me.

...repulsion? Blimey

BIWI · 21/10/2013 22:24

Do you not think that it's very strange that you would talk about a natural part of your body as 'repulsive'?

curlew · 21/10/2013 22:28

Don't you also think it's strange that your Dp "wouldn't go anywhere near you" if you had normal adult woman's body hair?

Bunbaker · 21/10/2013 22:41

Yes, I find it disturbing as well.

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