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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the midwife will not give two hoots about my bikini line?

337 replies

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/10/2013 22:02

I'm going into hospital in just over a week to be induced, I can not see my bikini line and am disinclined to brandish a razor and any sharp bladed object near something I cannot see.

So will the midwife even notice let alone care?

OP posts:
curlew · 19/10/2013 13:21

The hair on my head gets really sweaty and smelly when I exercise- should I shave it off?

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 19/10/2013 13:22

I am serious - there's near 150 posts here and the vast majority are from reasonable woman saying that pubic hair in the state mine is in disgusts them. It follows that the nurses that do smear most likely would find it disgusting and I, with my already completely non- existent body confidence, couldn't cope with that. I'm not saying I'm right but that's how I feel

The only weird or uncomfortable thing that has ever happened to me was when the nurse started crying then disclosed DV to me and wanted me to advise her. If you are to a fairly well known DV practitioner then this is highly unlikely to happen to you. Go have a bloody smear test.

It shows how different we all are and how we see information, I've read this as the vast majority saying they agree they wouldn't care.

OP posts:
Dayshiftdoris · 19/10/2013 13:26

I was a midwife and I have only ever cared about my own pubic hair Grin

I wouldn't worry and we only shave top inch if going to section and they do that in theatre at the time now (newish research about reducing infection)

ZombiesAteMyCunnyFunt · 19/10/2013 13:27

On the theme of someone's mum giving them an ante-natal trim, I know someone whose mum checked her stitches Halloween Shock that's just a bit too close imo...

cadburyscremeleg · 19/10/2013 13:30

I'm a practice nurse & do loads of smears.
Pubic hair doesn't even register on my radar. I've seen a few piercings & wondered privately if they're painful but would never comment to the patient or any colleagues. We've got female bodies that are essentially anatomically very similar & TBH we've not very interested in the style/length/colour of your pubes.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 19/10/2013 13:32

Oh and I also have huge boobs loads of tattoos and at no time have I ever felt anyone in the HCP thought this was odd or unusual.

My plan of action is to have a long bath late the night before as I need help to have one and that's the only time I can get the help, get up have a sink wash and then go, bags done have a good book so I won't be bored.

OP posts:
Dayshiftdoris · 19/10/2013 13:35

Ooh I didn't read the whole thread but as Cadbury said really.... I wouldn't notice enough to comment to anyone else.

Have to say though Cadbury I do ask patients about their piercings if they mention them as a) I like to know, b) they are generally hugely enthusiastic about talking about them and c) I might need to know how to get one out in an emergency....
Fascinating subject Smile

Writerwannabe83 · 19/10/2013 13:38

I don't see why women are being criticised for not being as 'nature intended' and wanting to shave their pubic area but they aren't criticised because they want to shave their legs?

If the argument is given that leg shaving isn't comparable because 'legs are on public show' then it implies that women who shave their legs do it because it is the societal norm or it is what is expected - so why is bikini line preening being criticised when the the same argument is being given?

It is just a bit hypocritical to make a song and dance about how awful it is they women don't feel they can go 'natural' with their pubic hair, yet leg shaving isn't a problem.

I don't feel 'pressure to trim' - nobody knows I do it except me, my husband and any professional who has reason to be down there. I keep my pubic area tidy because I want to. I don't like having lots of hair down there, I don't think it looks nice and I don't feel clean and tidy unless I'm well kept downstairs Smile

My husband also keeps himself trim and he looks better for it. And like I said, I think another reason we both do it because certain acts of sexual intercourse more pleasurable when you aren't having to pick pubes out of your teeth afterwards Grin

It is a personal decision but I don't think women who do choose to shave or trim themselves should be labelled as being pressured by society or being insecure because we can't be our 'natural selves' - why can't be just do it because we have our own reasons for wanting to??

unlucky83 · 19/10/2013 13:48

I don't shave or trim mine - never have -used to do my legs and arm pits - often now (as a 46 yo) don't bother with that either...
To be fair I'm not very hairy anyway...

I thought it was the media to blame for my 12 yo shaving her pubic hair -now having read most of this....
It makes me so sad...are we going backwards?
What is wrong with being who you are? Hairy fanny and all...

pigsDOfly · 19/10/2013 13:51

I'd hate it if a man removed his pubic hair (quite like hair in my teeth) :) but then I'm older and I don't remove mine (will tidy up if wearing swimwear).

As far as being sweaty goes, as someone said up post. No. If you shower/bath every day why would it get any sweatier than if the hairs removed. Hopefully most people shower before having sex if they've been running around all day.

And remember part of the purpose of pubic hair is to trap the sexual pheromones so that we smell more attractive to a mate. Why would you want to get rid of that.

QueenOfKings · 19/10/2013 13:59

I didn't shave before labour but then im not particularly hairy in that department anyway even when left alone. I do at other times though, I started trimming it right back and shaving the underneath part at 15 because of personal preference and carried it on into my adult life im nearly 30 now. Last year I decided to go a bit further and just leave a strip I prefer that now I have tried it all off and didn't like it so leave that tiny bit. The reason for it is for me I feel cleaner when on my period, its more sensitive during sex and I can see what going on better, I personally find it looks sexually more appealing on others as well so obviously its a turn on, I think what other people do with theirs is completely up to them, I do think its massively offensive to compare the preference to pre pubescent children though!

now If only I could stop the shaving rash I would be a lot happier!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/10/2013 14:04

The last time there was a thread like this someone who was a nurse or a midwife was all 'OMG it is unusual to see a full bush, I am always really surprised and find it gross'. Which is possibly the most unprofessional thing ever.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/10/2013 14:06

But I do object massively to the phrase 'tidy' when applied to a trimmed/waxed/shaved pubic area.

There is nothing inherently 'untidy' about body hair, it is just a question of whether you choose to remove it or not.

Coffeenowplease · 19/10/2013 14:17

I've never had full pubic hair. Dont like it. Dont like hairy men either though.

I read threads like this and I always have one question, I've always shaved. I am also very short sighted, so when in the shower without glasses on I've also never been able to see what I'm shaving so have always done it by feel.

Is this unusual ? So many people always come on to say they dont shave when pg because they cant see it and I always think Confused.

zzzzz · 19/10/2013 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 19/10/2013 14:26

Coffee

It's not just that you can't see it, but you can't bend in half to reach it either when that pregnant. I'm struggling now at 21 weeks.

I will be going in au naturel too OP. Any midwife who is bothered by the sight of pubic hair is in the wrong job.

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 19/10/2013 14:32

For me the can't see it thing is because its different now, its swollen and rather well for want of a better word bulgy,I just know I would do myself a mischief

OP posts:
Coffeenowplease · 19/10/2013 14:33

I did think that saucy but a lot of the posts just mentioned seeing not bending so I did wonder.

Question answered I guess.

Kikithecat · 19/10/2013 14:34

I've read loads of pubes v no pubee threads here but this takes the ! While I am strictly au naturel I don't care if others want to go naked but, my god, the idea that there's now some sort of unwritten law that you can't have pubes or that health workers would be shocked by a full bush is unbelievable!

Coffeenowplease · 19/10/2013 14:34

Ah. Have not experienced being pg so this is uncharted territory for me !

dementedma · 19/10/2013 14:40

Have had 3 Dcs and never occurred to me to do my pubes.....oh dear!

mervynmouse · 19/10/2013 14:44

My midwife complained that the amount of fuzz I was sporting made it difficult to do the stitching. I tried not to take it personally Grin

halfwildlingwoman · 19/10/2013 14:46

I had an EMCS for my first child and the MW shaved the top of my pubes with a dry razor. I had an elective for my second and the MW said "Did you manage to shave at all?" I didn't realise it was expected so I just said that I couldn't reach, but I'd trimmed a bit. But hair hadn't really grown near the CS scar and they used the same incision, so I don't see how it would have helped. I may be really clueless about female anatomy, but how does it make it easier to stitch you if you're hairless? The area they're stitching wouldn't have hair anyway?
And, maybe I shouldn't comment, as I've never tried it, but for much the same reason I don't see why oral sex would be better with shaved pubes. I mean, the area they are, ahem, focusing on, isn't hairy.

silverten · 19/10/2013 15:01

I removed it once, years ago, and found that quite apart from the itchy regrowth, the chafing was awful. We clearly aren't supposed to mess about with it too much, if we don't want to get all sore.....

A flannel and a bidet worked nicely for me after DD was born. No yukky sweatiness from lounging around in bed all day!

Fakebook · 19/10/2013 15:06

I've always removed hair, so it wasn't done especially for the midwives and doctors (and the stupid porter who walked in with the crash cart and got an eyeful Angry) the first time.

The second time, I made sure I was removing it more regularly because I remember how heavy my lochia was the first few days and that sweaty feeling of blood being squeezed out with every breast feed. Bleugh.

I'm doing the same again this time. Also had a scare yesterday that I might have started labour so booked an emergency appointment to get my eyebrows done this morning.

I remember watching a Gok Wan programme once in which a make up artist (I think) said a woman with unkempt eyebrows probably has unkempt pubes too. I don't know why, but I can't remove that correlation from my head now. It's been a good 8 or 9 years too.