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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the midwife will not give two hoots about my bikini line?

337 replies

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/10/2013 22:02

I'm going into hospital in just over a week to be induced, I can not see my bikini line and am disinclined to brandish a razor and any sharp bladed object near something I cannot see.

So will the midwife even notice let alone care?

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 19/10/2013 20:14

karma has it spot on!!

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 20:17

Completely agree Karma Smile

VivaLeThrustBadger · 19/10/2013 20:38

Yes, at the end of the day for the majority of women the only people who will see your pubic hair or lack of it is your other half and health professionals.

I'm sure your other half loves you enough to not care and I'm sure the health professionals don't give a toss.

frogslegs35 · 19/10/2013 20:45

I don't care what others do/don't do to their muffs but personally I trim and shave mine for mostly the same reasons as Lj8893 mentioned above, also because my pubes haven't been curly for agessss Confused , so seeing as I now grow straight hair down there, if I didn't control it, within weeks I'd look like some weird breed of Wolf Hound I'm not joking :)

In answer to the OP - Midwife won't notice nor care.
I got my ex to trim me a few days before the birth of DC2 - I'd wanted just a little bit off but he thought it would be funny to shave a heart shape dickhead Anyway.... 2 midwives didn't even notice until after I'd given birth - they concentrate more on baby's road out rather than the sidewalk :)

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 20:46

When I left mine to grow they left IMPRINTS on my thighs that bloody hurt! I must have an uber bush.

notthefirstagainstthewall · 19/10/2013 21:18

It's sadder if you judge someone by what they are born with. Hair, skin colour, gender, looks etc etc. Apparently if you don't change these - black people whiten up , white people tan, hairy people shave, bald people get transplants you ain't trying hard enough.
Since most people have pubic hair fucking about with it means it's a vanity/fashion thing rather than a human being functioning thing.Shaving it off is judgmental.

oakmouse · 19/10/2013 21:21

I imagine medical staff are probably just happy if they find everything's ok; they have to deal with life and death stuff - rapture, agony, nerve-wracking tension, uncertainty, searing pain and profound relief. The length or absence of a woman's pubic hair probably isn't what they will look back and remember!

SplitHeadGirl · 19/10/2013 21:28

My brother is a midwife and I remember he said that he and the other midwives hear comments from birthing women re. how they look and that he and the other midwives just want to dispel their worries...they don't care!!!!

SplitHeadGirl · 19/10/2013 21:30

Just what Oakmouse said!!!

My best friend is also a nurse and she too just has the patient/person in front of her in mind. NOT how they look!!!

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 21:33

How is shaving your pubes judgemental?!! Heard it all now! I suppose if I dye my hair an unnatural colour that's judgemental too?

We do LOTS of things that aren't for survival. Because we're lucky enough to not have to coventrate on survival. I don't want to be rude but I think it's a really moot point.

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 21:35

And it isn't for vanity, for some of us it is comfort. The most judgemental post I've read is from you unfortunately notthefirst which is ironic.

HorryIsUpduffed · 19/10/2013 21:40

I don't care what others do/don't do to their muffs but personally I trim and shave mine for mostly the same reasons as Lj8893 mentioned above, also because my pubes haven't been curly for agessss confused , so seeing as I now grow straight hair down there, if I didn't control it, within weeks I'd look like some weird breed of Wolf Hound I'm not joking Smile

Good point. Another straight-puber here and I suspect it does make a difference. The fuckers get tangled and it's hard to degunk knots compared to short (

bellybuttonfairy · 19/10/2013 21:46

Im a midwife and really do not care what peoples bikini lines are like! Im very concerned with the position of the baby, dilatation etc. I do remember one woman tell me after labour that I was one of the few people who knew she wasnt a true blonde. Apparently she had red pubic hair and I hadnt really noticed! (In fairness it was a quick complicated labour!)

KatyPutTheCuttleOn · 19/10/2013 21:47

Whatever your bikini line is like will be fine - the midwife will have seen more 'styles' of bikini line than we have had hot dinners...

Writerwannabe83 · 19/10/2013 21:58

Shaving it off is judgmental Grin

That's given me a good laugh!

Does this apply to shaving our legs and armpits too notthefirst?
I'm obviously assuming you don't do either in view of not wanting to be judgemental...

DanglingChillis · 19/10/2013 22:13

I've not read the whole thread (!) but I wanted to say that you wouldn't necessarily get shaved for a CS. A shaved bikini line could actually increase the chance of infection and a lot of hospitals ask you to refrain from shaving for a week or so before a planned CS.

I have a friend who is a doctor and she did comment once how surprised she was how many people were shaved. Another example of the class divide? I suspect it's more that the older you are the less likely you are to shave, since it wasn't fashionable to be bald in the 80s and 90s. So older middle class Mums are less likely to shave.

Lj8893 · 19/10/2013 22:37

^shaving it off is judgemental^

What the actual fuck!!!!!

That's given me a laugh.

So if I was to cut my hair on my head it's judgemental too yeah?!

Original poster
IneedAsockamnesty · 19/10/2013 22:39

I'm actually rather pleased that lots of midwives and other HCP'S have come on to say they don't notice or care.

OP posts:
MrsMook · 19/10/2013 22:47

with DS1 I had a huge bump and managed to do some maintainence with a trimmer attachment on a (long handled) electric razor, and a mirror on the bottom of the bath. The last time was a blind effort as the bump totally eclipsed the mirror. With DS2, the bump was less wide and easier to reach. I wasn't bothered about the reaction of the people involved in the birth, but felt that being tidier down there would help manage the lochia better after.

I had one MW on the ward comment I was very tidy when she checked my stitches!

notthefirstagainstthewall · 19/10/2013 23:18

The majority of midwifes and doctors have said they don't give a flying fuck about pubes. Yet still the concern is they may be judged. So who has profligated this concern?

So it['s Ok to be a sweaty minger after doing a Gillian shred workout but not so much if you're fat minger after a flight of stairs? You all judge. Hair or lack off is simply a fashion.

You'd all put up with all sorts of blood, sweat and mess if one day bushy fannies were fashionable the same as you put up with the stress of not having a tidy bush, itchiness and expense of a "tidy" fanny.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 23:20

Who would have thought that there would be anyone with a shaved fanjo chip on their shoulder?! Hmm

Lj8893 · 19/10/2013 23:23

I will say it again......for me trimming and shaving is not a "fashion".

So if it did become fashionable to not trim or shave or whatever, then I wouldn't follow that fashion because I trim for comfort. Have done as long as I can remember. I've always found long pubic hair really uncomfortable!

notthefirstagainstthewall · 19/10/2013 23:28

Lj8893 So why do you actually have a haircut then. Presumably it IS * so someone can assume something about you? Nice hair equals some sort of female worth apparently.

I am very lucky in that I have cool hair without involving a hairdresser. This has given me enough self belief not to massacre my pubes. You can live with the hair you've got you know. It's not the rule that hair must be straightened, curled, bleached, dyed, cut or shaved....

PrincessFlirtyPants · 19/10/2013 23:31

Nice hair equals some sort of female worth apparently.

When has anyone said that on this thread?! What a bizarre thing to say!

Lj8893 · 19/10/2013 23:32

Actually I get my hair cut less than once a year wonders about split ends

When I do eventually get my hair cut its because its getting too long and irritating me. I have fairly long hair but once it gets to a certain point it starts to irritate me and I find it uncomfortable. The same as my pubes! As I have said several times I don't trim my pubic hair for vanity reasons, its purely because I find it very very uncomfortable when its long!