To wonder how people feed babies this revolting stuff day in day out

[moogy1a]

Had to give a mindee a jar of food today ( mum particularly wanted her to have it).
it smelt rank and I couldn't bring myself to try it.
Little one wolfed it down though so obviously used to the taste and it wasn't "off".
AIBU to think that except in emergencies babies should be fed food you would be happy to eat yourself ( or is Heinz food particularly revolting?)

Quefonda, she started off talking about the food being "rank","revolting stuff" then went on to refer to the child as"poor bugger".

That's not asking for opinions, it's setting her pitch in an agressive way. It's certainly not setting a stage for debating the merits of different food.

As someone said would you be happy with your cm or nanny referring to your child as poor bugger on a public forum?

If she were a nanny rather than a self employed cm that conduct would be sufficient to justify dismissal.

I wonder, will she mention her concerns to the mother's face?

^Youhaventseenme Thu 17-Oct-13 19:13:31
You are the hired help, you are there to do what is asked of you. You are not paid for your opinions.

You are being paid to do a job, get on with it.^

You are wrong there. Assuming she is a childminder, she is self employed, trained in all aspects of childcare and is very much there to offer advice and have opinions. I wouldn't just do what a parent asks because they pay me. I'm not saying I would refuse to give them jars (after all it won't do them any harm), but I would be suggesting that the baby try some of the homemade lunch I provide. Childminders are not just there to do as they're told and 'watch' the children. They have a big part to play in their development and food/weaning is a part of that.

^TheMoonInJune Thu 17-Oct-13 19:14:29
To be honest I'd rather my child went somewhere she wasn't judged!

Honestly moogy it puts me off using a c/m, it really does.^

I've been in nurseries and schools and heard similar comments such as the OP's. It's a little extreme to say that would put you off a childminder. We all secretly have an opinion judge other people's way of doing things. I think it's how the individual handles such opinions with the parent. I would never tell a parent I thought they were wrong, I'd suggest other things/ways.

Mary I don't think it's extreme to say it would put you off a childminder to be honest. If I spotted a member of staff from my DC nursery doing this I would seriously complain. You need to have a trust with care providers.

It was a one off jar, maybe say something if a mum insisted on a jar every day as that would suggest an issue -. Perhaps not comfortable with the food provided and reassurance needed for an example.

Whatever the situation, vociferously offering an opinion on your child on an online open forum is clearly not the way to go, is it?

Maryshoppins, there is a world of difference about a cm or nanny giving advice to a parent and coming on to a public forum and making sneery, judgemental remarks.

Funny that the OP got such a slating on this thread with lots defending processed / ready made baby food as just as good as, perhaps better than, homemade... It was a very different story last week on the ready meals vs home cooking thread last week where the majority opinion was that ready meals could never never be as healthy as home cooking! Truly MN is a wonderful thing.... ;)

HaroldLloyd

I still think it's extreme. As I say, such comments are passed in all professions - rightly or wrongly!

These forums are supposed to give you the anonymity to share thoughts and feelings without anyone knowing who you are. That's a bit different than gossiping with your friends about it or discussing on Facebook where people know who you are and who you are talking about! Lots of people come on Mumsnet for advice, or to vent.

I haven't got through the whole thread yet, but, if the OP genuinely has a concern about it, she should discuss it with the mother. Childminders are supposed to discuss the children's welfare and development.

Some posters have mentioned that they couldn't give their babies fresh food because of allergies or they simply could not cook. Fine I say, but ask, and then you know. It might be like another poster mentioned, that they actually just thought jars was 'what you do' and didn't even think! Hence the importance of communication.

The poster suggesting that the OP is 'Hired help' and should 'Just get on with the job they are paid to do' is absurd, irresponsible and damn right rude!

There are thousands of childminders in this country.
I never understand these people who claim that a single opinion by someone on Mumsnet, who they don't even know, has "put them off" using a childminder (or nursery, or nanny).

Surely choosing childcare for your family is too important a decision to be influenced to that extent by something so trivial.

Wowserz129 Thu 17-Oct-13 19:37:49
I have to say you could be serving amazing food day in and day out but I would never consider using a childminder this judgemental and unprofessional. You are paid to mind a child, they pay you your wages and this is how judgmental you are.Time to self evaluate!

You say the OP is judgemental...as you completely write off ALL the other childminders with that sweeping statement! Now who's being judgemental!

Oh, and we are paid our 'fees' for our services WE provide. Not a wage for being told what to do!

OP was rather extreme though Mary, it was all rather provocative. I've tried a few different jars over the years and some have been not so nice so they haven't been given but all this vileness and stenches talk was designed to wind people up.

No, it shouldn't put anyone off using a CM. If I was looking at perspective CMs and I found this one written by one of them hell yes I wouldn't want to use them.

Maryshoppins, In my profession such comments are definitely not made on a public forum about my clients.

Her comments are the very opposite of professional conduct.

BrianTheMole Fri 18-Oct-13 23:31:15
what would you prefer? A CM who feeds the lo's crap, or one that feeds them proper food?

Hmm, what would I prefer? A nursery I think. Or if I went with a child minder then not one that judges and is sneery like you.

Btw, i'm self employed. If the people who provide me with work don't like me for whatever reason, then they go get someone else to do the job. Which means I don't get paid. The same actually goes for you, believe it or not. They are paying you to do a job. End of.

Because nursery workers would never judge?!! Self employed childminders work in a partnership with parents. The do not work for the parents solely. Therefore childminders will have a set way of doing things and the children have to fit in with that way. Childminders usually have more than one set of families to accommodate. I know that's irrelevant to the OP, but worth highlighting that it's not so cut and dry like some self employed people are suggesting! Childminders are getting on with their job. Their job is to look after the children and offer support, advice, opportunities to the children. Say a childminder has three families with completely different parenting styles. Do you suggest she has three sets of rules in her home?

If she is anonymous and not giving out specific details of said family, I fail to see how this is unprofessional? As I said, it's a huge difference to airing your views on Facebook!

If I posted what the OP had or something similar and it was traced back to me based on previous posts, I would not be at all surprised to find myself suspended and probably fired on the basis of gross misconduct. I can't think of any reasonable defence I could use. You should not confuse 'anonymous forums' with actually being anonymous. Particularly if you have posted your real name somewhere on the site.

I do agree about the 'hired help' comment being below the belt though. It wouldn't put me off using a childminder either. It would put me off using this childminder but I wouldn't tar all of them with the same brush.

HaroldLloyd

Personally I don't get that vibe from OP. As a parent I have used both jars and homecooked meals. I too recall some of the jars smelling vile. It's not unbelievable to me that OP did too.

I wasn't aware that OP had posted her personal info on the forum. However, that aside, I still think everyone would be up in arms over the OP. If she was discussing something more serious i.e.. concerns about a child's welfare or the families personal business, then I would say that is irresponsible and wrong. But expressing view over jar food?

I did, we will have to agree to disagree

Maryshoppinns, if you really can't see why this is unprofessional, then I despair. I really do. Please see ClayDavis'post.

You seem to think if she won't get found out saying these horrible things, then it can't be unprofessional. The fact she has posted them is itself unprofessional.

TheHouseCleaner Sat 19-Oct-13 00:03:48

You're not. You're being slated for being judgy and sneery. You're being questioned about allowing an unusual and IMHO undesirable way of behaving at mealtimes. You're not being slated for giving mindees good food

But you are being judgy and sneery! Judging the OP mealtime routine? Sneering at the so called 'hired help'! UNBELIEVABLE!

Catlin17 Yes, in reality it IS unprofessional. But, look at the Childcare forums on Mumsnet. Full of people (Childminders & parents) asking for advice, venting etc.. Not to mention thousand of other post with similar context. The OP isn't doing anything out of the ordinary here and honestly, it isn't something serious!

is this a moondog thread?

Expressing a view on jar food is fine. It's the way the OP has done it that I think is the problem. The bit where she calls the child a 'poor bugger' because they've obviously had jar food before is where she crosses a line. It comes across as judgemental of the mindee's parents choices. There's probably enough info in her first 2 posts for the parent to identify themself regardless of whether the OP had previously outed herself.

If she'd stuck to something along the lines of 'I was feeding a child a jar of food' without the back story and left the poor bugger bit out, she'd be on much safer grounds in terms of information governance.

Mary, not sure why you think your long winded response is relevant to what I said earlier, but hey ho. I wouldn't want a judgey sneery childminder. I certainly wouldn't be paying them or trusting them to look after my children. The point of your post was what exactly?

t you are being judgy and sneery! Judging the OP mealtime routine? Sneering at the so called 'hired help'! UNBELIEVABLE!

The mealtime routine is shite love. Letting kids leave the table and wander round picking off peoples plates. really?. You think thats ok?

Making two year olds sit down for extended periods of time is also wrong. Did you know children can actually find it very painful to sit down for long periods like that?
What need is there? And BTW mine at 8&5 sit beautifully at a table.

Also re behaviour management a good CM wouldn't have a naughty step as it is consider bad practice. And the policies have to be written in a certain way and include certain points so that they meet the requirements of the EYFS. So my rules on behaviour aren't negotiable I'm afraid. But I use a positive approach.