AIBU to think NCT classes are a waste of time & money?

[LittlePeaPod]

Am I been unreasonable to think NCT classes are a waste of time and money after only attending the first session and the only reason I should go back is to get to know the other new mums to be because they all seem like a really nice bunch of ladies.

Attended our first NCT session last night and I have to say I was really disappointed in the class. The two and a half hour session was boring and verging on condescending. The activities can only be compared to those crappy training activities you get in crappy work based training sessions. The MW is clearly pro natural birth with no intervention what's so ever including any form of pain relief and her method of trying to scare the new mums into following her path was crap IMHO. For example she proclaimed swaddling new borns has been linked to cot deaths! When I asked her to give us some facts so we could understand what exactly the risk associated to swaddling is, she couldn't. [Hmm] The breast feeding guilt trip started last night please don't got me wrong i understand the benefits of breast feeding a new born She clearly hasn't considered that there may be mums in the group that will struggle with breast feeding and they way she went on anyone that does struggle will feel like a failure and like they are letting their baby down this goes for anything other than a VB with no pain relief too

I am a logical person and it frustrated me that the MW didn't seem able to back her statements up with actual facts. She just blubbed scary shit and there was no opportunity for real discussion. Either she is not used to people asking questions or she was just trying to frighten us into following the path that she did when she had her children. So much for giving new mums to be the relevant unbiased information so we can prepare for the birth / post birth including what could go wrong and god forbid anything does go wrong we can at least be informed so we can make decisions quickly. If last nights session is a sign of things to come I think the MW is going to get a shock because I won't be able to sit there and just nod!

I understand at 29 weeks pregnant I can be a bit unreasonable sometimes. So please ladies AIBU?

"suspect that many middle class ladies join the NCT because they want to meet other like minded, equally middle class mummies and the £250 fee separates the goats from the sheep."

I think that's a bit unfair and judgemental. People go for different reasons and there are no NHS classes running were we are at the moment.

Would love to see the stats that prove a baby sleeping under a duvet with two knackered adults is less likely to overheat than a baby swaddled in a cotton blanket in a Moses basket.

Oops, apologies- it was 6 years ago, bit of distant memory now. I think it was probably the 'only' impression I got from the classes - that it was all a 'natural' process and everything else was unlikely to occur.

OP - I could have written your post - you're not in SE London are you because your MW sounds very much like ours. ds was breech and I had a CS - but knew absolutely nothing about them as she had not covered it - apart from to tell us about the pain...

BUT - if you've already paid then I'd keep on going - the other women were invaluable to me in that crazy 0-6 month stage, and we've stayed friends - 9 years and counting!

Would love to see the stats that prove a baby sleeping under a duvet with two knackered adults is less likely to overheat than a baby swaddled in a cotton blanket in a Moses basket.

Me too.

It varies a lot according to the leader. From my course four out of six of us wound up with c-sections (only one of which had been planned) and one of the other two had a ventouse delivery and I think the helpful and non-judgemental way in which our leader had helped us talk through all the possibilities and options did a lot to prepare us for that (we'd probably gone in with fairly unrealistic expectations, but she made sure we knew about all the pain relief options available to us and when they might be a good idea). But go to another area with a different leader and people seem to have exactly the opposite experience.

I didn't go to NCT classes for various reasons but a colleague at work did utter the phrase "to meet like-minded people" and I do hear people talking about "my NCT friends" quite regularly.

hatsy no I am in West Yorkshire. I do have to say the other ladies seem really nice

If a baby is under a duvet it's not cosleeping safely or properly.

My sister went to NCT,I didn't.

They were dreadful re twins.Refused to discuss feeding and birthing possibilities more likely with twins.Considering how many more parents are having multiple births that's not very inclusive imvho.

I just went to the free state version(twins too),it was fab and I still made great friends.

I only went to two free NHS sessions at the birth centre.

They showed us how to bath a doll... The doll was very compliant as opposed to DD who was purple and screaming with rage at first bath time

It was free though and we got a nosy round the facilities!

Never paid for the NCT but hear mixed reports - I think the main aspect for many is meeting people.

It an easy way to part boden wearing,yummy mummies with their cash.

DD always slept just under the edge of our quilt and didn't get too hot. Between us she would have fried.

You couldn't even get DD to wear a snow suit, attempting to swaddle her would have lead to WW3.

Returning to topic. NCT teachers should allow open evidence based discussion and they certainly should cover Csections.

I know my DF, who does NCT classes does. She has a game with playmobil people showing just how many people can be in theatre and just how unnerving it can feel.

the very first thing my NCT teacher said was 'NCT - the National Childbirth Trust, not the Natural Childbirth Trust', which reassured me immediately. We discussed everything, home and hospital, different kinds of pain relief, breastfeeding (she acertained that we all wanted to bf), and the first week or so at home. She was excellent and on my local forum I always recommend her. The women ('girls'?? None of us were under 30 and 3 of us were pushing 40!) were lovely and I'm still in touch with a couple. Ours were held over 8 weeks and we learnt a lot and made good friends.

I would actually complain to the NCT about your teacher - she sounds like she is really pushing a personal agenda.

I am glad to hear not all NCT facilitators are genda driven and crap. If last night is a sign of things to come our facilitator is giving good NCT facilitators a bad name...

"they certainly should cover Csections.

I know my DF, who does NCT classes does. She has a game with playmobil people showing just how many people can be in theatre and just how unnerving it can feel."

That's not "covering" C-sections. That's having an agenda and causing unnecessary fear and distress!

Horses for courses. I think you have realise the aims of the NCT charity. They used to be called the Natural Childbirth Trust before they chanaged their name so their agenda is to promote all things natural ie. vaginal birth without pain relief and breastfeeding! I think that the instructor has made the assumption that you want all things natural otherwise you would not have opted for the NCT.

I didn't make any friends through my NCT classes. The women and there were horrid and judgmental because I was only 25 and wasn't married. The rest of them were high flying career women in their thirties and they looked down on me as being rather common. The rest of them had discussions about which prep school they were going to but their bump's name down for. One of the husbands made it clear their bump was grammar school material were as my bump was really better suited to the secondary modern.

There are now children's centres with ante natal groups which are either free or very low cost. You don't have to shell out £300 to make lifelong friends.

I wish I had done the free NHS one for several reasons.
I had to to travel for it because NCT is not Salford. I therefore made no local friends. It was boring and not based in the hospital. There was nothing at all said about how painful breastfeeding might be. We were shown a lovely film in soft focus of a baby repeatedly making a beautiful latch whilst baby and mum relaxed on their beautiful union. I was totally unprepared for the hideous reality. First milk would not cone in, baby screaming with hunger while I tried to feed all night while the cow and gate mums sat thei munching on their Greggs and laughing with the midwives. Then 3 weeks of baby drinking orange milk, orange because it was always mixed up,with my blood and scabs. Even the latch woman who came from la leche league couldn't make it work.
If I'd gone to the NHS one I'd have probably got some proper preparation and felt ready to tackle what lay ahead.

I did NCT and NHS classes. Have to say the information given was fairly similar at both. The facilitator was a nice, fairly realistic woman. She was very pro breast feeding but she warned us about that before she began.
She told us she wasn't allowed to discuss other feeding options as it was against what the NCT stood for. I don't remember feeling pressure over the type of birth. All options were discussed and the pros and cons of pain relief/c-section laid out.
Any advice given by anyone should always be taken carefully. Everyone has their own beliefs and agenda that they will attempt to share with you. It doesn't matter who they work for.
I made one friend at NHS classes but the 7 other women from NCT have been amazing. Some of us still meet up every week. We go out together, we go away together. I don't know how I would have coped without the support. The money we paid was well spent in my opinion.

I believe official anti sids advice says not to cosleep OR swaddle?

I should add our NHS classes first time were useless, they were taught by the most useless midwife in the district.

She was famously useless, when ever to PG women met the conversation always turned to how great x was at the hospital clinic and how useless Y was. I ended up feeling slightly sorry for her. Although not sorry enough to finish her course.

And no the NHS class did not prepare me any better for how hard BF can be. I'm not sure anything can! Until you've lived it you just can't appreciate how much it hurts.

TheHouseCleaner is your DF helping women understand the process of what happens in a CS and who attends ECS etc. Or is she telling the women how unnerving it is and therefore implanting fear of the procedure into the women's heads beforehand?

Oh, and I think swaddling is amazing. Both mine loved it.

The official SIDS advice says please feel free to crash your car due to lack of sleep.

Having a long distance commuting DH I take it with a large dose of pragmatism.