To think all this naming and shaming business is a bit shitty

[tasteslikechicken]

I've noticed three threads over the last couple of days that seem really vindictive, with the sole purpose of damaging peoples small businesses (and therefore income). I cant think of any other circumstances where mumsnetters would seek to do that to another person.

I think if you are going to name and shame you should have the courage of your convictions and out yourself too.

The anonymity afforded by this site allows people to express themselves more freely than they would in RL, I think it's poor form to abuse this by snipping at businesses on such a public forum.

Some people have made the comparison to when large organisations i.e. supermarkets, large retailers etc. are named then it's the same thing.

I disagree; when you are commenting on these large organisations they are just that- organisations- with thousands of people in them. When posters are focussing on a single, often small business, there is a very different quality to the thread which I see as a bit cowardly and punitive with the sole aim being to hurt and damage someone.

Reassuringly, many people quickly point out the OPs motives and unreasonable behaviour, unfortunately once the horse has bolted though.

Just to clarify, I think there are many situations when anonymity is important, I don't think any of the posts I've seen apply, they've just been spiteful and ultimately compromised the OPs perhaps justified initial irritation.

[PresidentServalan]

Laquitar absolutely right - I doubt the business owner would lose any sleep over it! And is it just me being cynical or do these threads always sounds completely exaggerated (or in fact complete bullshit!)

[reelingintheyears]

The café thread was about breast feeding and being embarrassed by the attitude of the staff.
The thread wasn't deleted because it was a troll or made up, it was deleted so the café could deal with the problem without having to come on MN to defend itself.

[lollilou]

I thought the cafe thread was about a urgent loo stop.

[valiumredhead]

What soup said.

[reelingintheyears]

Maybe I've got the wrong one then, I thought it was the BFing one where the staff were saying 'bitty' and laughing at the Mother because her DD is a two year old.

[Bowlersarm]

The cafe thread I was talking about was the just using the loo one.

[reelingintheyears]

Ah, didn't see that one.
Was it deleted?

[anon2013]

YANBU I saw this on my first day on her. The OP placed several white lies in her original post to make it sound worse than it was. The small family run business was called every name under the sun and violence threatened and it got to a point where the business actually registered on here to put her case forward.

[PresidentServalan]

That was the one I reported - everyone was weighing in and going on tripadvisor and Facebook - the poor manager was gutted. And the OP hadn't even spoken to her at this point. There were some parts of the story that didn't add up IMO.

[RevelsRoulette]

It really depends what's happened. I don't think you can say it's always a bad thing.

If it's a lie then clearly that's not acceptable and may be actionable. If it's a petty thing then it's just mean and should be stopped but if it's something that matters, like someone being thumped by the owner of a shop or subjected to for example, racist abuse, then it's important to tell people about it. A small business should not be protected if what it has done is unacceptable, just because it's a small business.

[RevelsRoulette]

I was on the cafe one earlier. Did it turn then because when I last read it, most people (me included) were saying she was unreasonable and could have handled it differently for a better outcome.

[NotYoMomma]

but to air it on here with no chance to respond or defend is imo shit

we had two pottery painting places near me and one would post Google reviews of the othersaying it was awful - but have you tried here?

couldnt delete it so had to postcounter review saying it was good there and theother place was posting rubbish

it was sad because the horrible business is still open and the good business closed :(

[phantomnamechanger]

revels, the café one was deleted because the OP named them straight off, she then came back posting the same vitriol on a new thread but just with the name blanked out, despite already having been told by loads of people that SWBVU !

[CrazySexyCool123]

I see their facebook page is back up. A few comments remain. Those who posted them really should delete them.

[FruOla]

The 'cafe OP' also posted on the local forum this morning - naming and shaming the cafe. Their Mods have let the thread stay - still with the cafe's name.

I'm glad MNHQ deleted the earlier one here.

I'm surprised that the Mods on the other forum, haven't taken action.

[BellEndTent]

I'm a big believer in naming and shaming when it is disturbed. The problem is on here that you only have one person's word for it and people's motives are sometimes a bit odd to say the least.

[BellEndTent]

Disturbed?! Deserved! In my defence I haven't had my dinner yet and am so hungry I can't think clearly.

[FruOla]

"also posted on the local forum this morning"

I meant : also posted a local forum .....

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

The only one I've seen recently was one started by someone I know in RL who was so gobsmacked about what happened that she did name and shame.

People don't come on and post threads just because they've decided to try and fuck over "business x" for the sheer hell of it. They post threads because they've had really shitty service, and in the case of the cafe one, had tried to contact them directly, but had the comments removed without reply.

Business is business. If you don't treat your customers well then you are going to have problems, no matter how big or small your business is. This is a digital age and any business owner - large or small - has to remember that people can communicate quickly and to a wide audience if things aren't up to scratch.

You don't want bad publicity? Don't mess about with the way you treat your customers.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

I totally agree, it's mean and spiteful and can destroy someone's business, for what could only be a one off.
If I don't like a place I don't go back, if it's that bad the business will fold anyway.

[Lazyjaney]

"People don't come on and post threads just because they've decided to try and fuck over "business x" for the sheer hell of it"

No, they come on here to get loads of other people to help fuck over business x for the he'll of it.

[tasteslikechicken]

Sorry to take so long to reply to the opinions, not wise to post just before leaving work to pick up children and then do whole evening bit on your own with no DP! I'm not good at mumsnet, but the person who mentioned naming and shaming should be akin to "trolling" is absolutely right.

The issue for me is if the motivation is to harm and hurt, then what is the reward? That you harmed and hurt somebody presumably!

Personally I find that a bit disturbing. I hate the whole idea of deliberately occupying a position of ill-will towards another person.

I think mumsnet is a great and amusing site that enjoys a high level of humour, irreverence, informed debate, and common sense in equal measure. The posts I've read over the past view days have diluted those qualities.

For me the BFing thread was a good example of how mumsnet could have helped someone broach a difficult subject but was ruined by the fact that the post was made by the "victims" sister rather than herself. The sister was the one motivated to damage someone, whilst the BFing mum was left to try and tidy up the mess and deal with the guilt of a situation not of her making.

I just think life is hard for most of us at the moment and nobody needs, nor benefits from this kind of behaviour.

I think it was on mumsnet that I read a very simple, but true post. Something like "just remember, everyone loves someone, everyone is loved by someone and everyone has lost someone". Even if my recall is faulted, I've held on to the spirit of that post. Particularly through a very difficult time recently.

[SeaSickSal]

The breastfeeding one was particularly awful. They hadn't even complained and given the business a chance to rectify it, they just came on here and named them.

And in my opinion several aspects of the story did not ring true at all.

[meganorks]

Do you really think posting here when the threads get shut down pretty quickly is going to put those businesses in jeapordy?! How many people will read it, live locally and agree that the op is right and then boycott themselves. Very few if any I am guessing.

I don't think they are right to do it, but I doubt it has any impact.

[Lazyjaney]

It's not the personal stay away that hurts, it's the mass flacking on trip advisor etc that hurts.