To think all this naming and shaming business is a bit shitty

[tasteslikechicken]

I've noticed three threads over the last couple of days that seem really vindictive, with the sole purpose of damaging peoples small businesses (and therefore income). I cant think of any other circumstances where mumsnetters would seek to do that to another person.

I think if you are going to name and shame you should have the courage of your convictions and out yourself too.

The anonymity afforded by this site allows people to express themselves more freely than they would in RL, I think it's poor form to abuse this by snipping at businesses on such a public forum.

Some people have made the comparison to when large organisations i.e. supermarkets, large retailers etc. are named then it's the same thing.

I disagree; when you are commenting on these large organisations they are just that- organisations- with thousands of people in them. When posters are focussing on a single, often small business, there is a very different quality to the thread which I see as a bit cowardly and punitive with the sole aim being to hurt and damage someone.

Reassuringly, many people quickly point out the OPs motives and unreasonable behaviour, unfortunately once the horse has bolted though.

Just to clarify, I think there are many situations when anonymity is important, I don't think any of the posts I've seen apply, they've just been spiteful and ultimately compromised the OPs perhaps justified initial irritation.

[tasteslikechicken]

eldritch, I'm sure I heard another say, "dunt matter, dunt really matter"' a la vic n bob!

[EldritchCleavage]

Anyone else hearing Vic and Bob shouting 'Wouldn't let it lie, they just wouldn't let it lie! as they read this?

[isshoes]

Because AmI you did not refer to children in your post at 21:29. And it's not about an adult needing the loo.

No one said 'kids are entitled to piss anywhere' (you have a charming turn of phrase). Platinum puts it perfectly above.

[PresidentServalan]

And given that the OP has admitted she exaggerated, then naming the business in this situation is even more disgusting and petty.

[PresidentServalan]

I think it was the "worst customer service ever" bit that I had an issue with. Incidents like this May be irritating but do they really warrant several OPs etc? It just seems like a complete overreaction to a situation where the OP was in the wrong in the first place.

[PlatinumStart]

ami if you visited the same cafe/took your toddler to music classes/spent money in a small shop three times a week would you honestly not be a little disappointed if they refused to let your toddler use the loo on one occasion? And if they compounded it by being rude and unpleasant?

If that really wouldn't bother you then you have a thicker skin than most

[AmIthatHot]

Fuck me, why would you think I was a 3 year old ishoos

I am an adult, I have children and I don't think they're fuckin entitled to piss anywhere,

They go at nursery before we leave for home, or we stop in somewhere on the way, but we are doing so much more than dropping in for a wee, we will buy something or order something,

I am sorry that the OP's patronage was not recognised, nor was her toddler the centre of attraction/attention, FFS

Get over it

[isshoes]

Are you a 3 year old AmI ?

I agree dollybird - entertaining responses from a lot of MNers. You said yourself that you exaggerated the level of awfulness of the situation, but the level of hysteria in some of the responses you have had totally overshadows that!

[dollybird1000]

yes worse customer service is an exaggeration and am letting it go and MN for that matter .. who cares really...

.. also find it highly entertaining how people respond on MN

[PresidentServalan]

I would make a point of going too AmI

[AmIthatHot]

I always think the term "name and shame" presupposes a particular reaction from Mumsnet

The one I contributed to was the piddle/café one. After reading the OP's comments, I actually thought "name and let lots of us support" instead.

If I knew where Nappy valley was, I would be there like a shot, to enjoy cake and coffee, without a procession of people in using the facilities

I was in our city centre today, and I passed several shops and cafes where I have spent lots of money. Did I go in and demand use of the toilets? Naw

[PresidentServalan]

Seriously though you probably need to let it go now. People have told you that YABU - and to call it the worst customer service ever seems a bit of an exaggeration. I have had much worse customer service than that, and I'm sure other posters have too!

[dollybird1000]

I was the one who posted re: Cafe not letting my 3 yr old daughter use the toilet.

I did name & shame, and I still would if ever in the same position to be insulted by the management again.

I wouldn't have bothered posting anywhere if it had just been the initial incident.

It was just an incredibly hostile approach from the ' nice little cafe ' I thought it was.

I believe the business is run by managers who have no idea of customer service or in fact management of staff/people.

I returned the following day to complain/discuss the incident with the manager ( and in fact was going to try and smooth things over with staff member involved - stay for a coffee etc )

BUT was met with an aggressive response, who didn't even let me finish my first sentence of explanation/questions..before being interrupted with "Its not a public toilet" - Like I am an illiterate moron.

So YES I did name and shame on my local forum - and mistakenly on here - then changed.

I am a director of a small business and so am fully aware of such 'reviews' and how they can impact on revenue, potentially, although in cases any press is good press etc etc

BUT and I would NEVER speak to/ treat a client like I was.

And I deal with incredibly tricky/demanding/unreasonable/egotistical individuals - believe me.

I still believe they were extreme/weird not letting my daughter nip in for a wee. Who was obviously desperate and I was obviously flustered as a result.

But the Managers response was the reason I felt compelled to post- I wanted to hear opinions - which were v interesting.

I think any business should be named & shamed where it has treated an individual unreasonably/rudely ( allegedly )

In regards to the cafe I posted about - I sincerely doubt my post with have any impact other than less mothers/nannys/fathers/carers etc with children going... which appears to be what they want anyway.

[tasteslikechicken]

keemanans gone a bit quiet

[anon2013]

I aimed for the most boring in mumsnet history and I think I did ok

[tasteslikechicken]

Also, my name has very impressive acronym, TLC!

[tasteslikechicken]

anon2013, "impeccable timing, your majesty"!

Jeez, I wish my two would hurry up and grow up, lion king is good and all but god I need something a bit more engaging now. I think you might be right though re inspiration for name. Yours is crap, I'm telling Facebook and "linky Din"

[anon2013]

tasteslikechicken you win for having a (hopefully) Lion King themed name

[PenelopePipPop]

"It's not like she used some Jedi mind trick to make anyone who read her thread boycott the cafe."

No she tried to persuade people to see her POV in a situation where the business had no equivalent right of reply.

I think that is perfectly acceptable on a review site. Poor form here.

You can go on AIBU and snipe about 'a cafe' all you like. But naming one is crass.

[tasteslikechicken]

Lasts not lat, up and not upand, sentences, etc. Oh fuck it, fragola wins. (Gets coat)

[tasteslikechicken]

anon2013 YABVVVVVU, surely I put it more perfecter!
Hate it when I try to make my point, covering all the bases, and then some clever F'r like fragola rocks upand does it a couple of sentence.
Personally I feel really offended by her smugness and intend to name and shame her on another thread. I will contact those on here who have displayed particular abilities in this arena, soon see how long fragola lat then. Show me up, the bloody bitch!!!

[anon2013]

fragola's put it perfectly

[SeaSickSal]

Keemanan, I don't care if you claim she's mother Teresa. As far as I know you're the same person or you're an incredibly credulous friend. I'm going to make my own mind up on the story and that one sounded odd.

It was the way that it was done was horrible too. They didn't complain to the cafe or give them a chance to sort it out, her and her sister came on here and with the absolute minimum of prompting named and shamed the place and the poor owner sat down at home opens up her laptop and she's subject to an internet hate campaign which is the first she knew of it. It could have been a misunderstanding. She was in a sandwich place, the first thing that crossed my mind was that they were talking about buttys and she misheard, perhaps because she is oversensitive.

But, no, I speak as I find and someone who could act in such a vindictive manner does not seem like a moral person to me and I have no reason to think that they would have moral scruples over lying either when they're happy to orchestrate an online hate campaign. Especially when they had given the cafe concerned absolutely no opportunity to apologise or rectify the situation before naming them and shaming them.

I thought their vindictiveness and gloating was disgraceful.

[fragola]

I think the problem is that a few people all too easily seem to fall into the mob mentality and leave bad reviews all over the internet of places they have never been to, on the say so of an anonymous post on a forum. Horrible and unfair.

[isshoes]

"And I'm not stupid enough to decide not to use a business when I have only heard one side of the story."

This is why I don't understand the vitriol directed at the OP. People make up their own minds about what to believe about a story like that. It's not like she used some Jedi mind trick to make anyone who read her thread boycott the cafe. So what's wrong with her having a rant??