WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..


I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

[treaclesoda]

a town centre near me has got fantastic public toilets but you have to pay 20p to use them. At first I thought 'hmm, that's harsh' but actually its pretty good value to be able to use a nice clean spotless toilet. And having to pay money to a real person who will recognise them means that the sort of person who vandalises things doesn't go in there and do it. Over 65s are free, and baby change room is free. I think its fantastic and I don't know why its not more common. Its value for money.

[Mynameismina]

I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

Really? You were quite happy to be a customer until recently. I guess the other customers are still paying to use their service.

[LaRegina]

If it were my business I would go out of my way to be polite and helpful with regular customers. So IMO you should have been allowed to use the loo.

But I think you need to let it go and move on now

[CatAmongThePigeons]

If she was that desperate, shouldn't you have found a toilet elsewhere?

[treaclesoda]

it resurfaced without the cafe name included!

[moanalot]

I really can't understand why anyone thinks YABU. Even if you weren't a regular customer the cafe assistant was being a total bitch. A little 3 year old needs the toilet and you asked in a nice way if she could use theirs. Yes it's a business they're running and not a public toilet but it's not as if there's going to be a queue of people all wanting to go in and use their toilet. Your reaction was totally understandable.....you expected to be given a nice smile and the go ahead, but instead you were treated to a jobs worth in all her glory. Thankfully it's not often we have to come across nasty pieces of work like her but when we do it comes as a shock, so YADNBU.

[Fleta]

treaclesoda - agreed I'm always happy to pay to use public facilities - it tends to mean they're far cleaner and more pleasant to use!

[dollybird1000]

Can I add all this took a milisecond.. so not a huge stand up argument - as I had to take dd to actually pee.. the whole point of going.

There was nowhere else near and we were walking home so another 10mins.. so she couldnt wait.

Anyway , why is it so wrong to be annoyed and tell the cafe so? I actually really like the cafe and wanted to smooth things over this am so I could return with my mother today ( having told her HOW nice it was ) but the manager was immediately on the attack..

Last post from me as life is too short ( plus have actual work to do )

Its seems many of you think I was YABU but there are many that dont.

Horses for courses it seems

I AM surprised at the foul language used on here though... and I thought my use of disgusted was rude. ha.

[treaclesoda]

'a little bitch'? That's a bit harsh. Maybe she was following the orders given out by her manager? I've known people working in shops and cafes who've said that whilst they personally would allow someone to use the toilet, their company policy doesn't allow it. They're hardly going to risk their job to appease someone who wasn't even buying food in the cafe on this occasion.

[DeWe]

Aren't we lucky to live in a country where the "worst customer servvice care ever" equates to not allowing a non-customer to use the customer only toilets?

[Mojavewonderer]

In your post you said
"Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then 'maybe we will stay for a treat ' "

So surely to 'stay for a treat' you would have needed cash, which you said you didn't have so you had no intention of staying for a treat after your daughter used their facilities so YWBVU.
The cafe were being mean not letting your daughter use the toilet when she clearly would have been in some distress but they have a policy and it's not illegal and you are not exempt from following the rules.

[treaclesoda]

sorry, a total bitch, not a little bitch.

Whatever, it just seems harsh when she was following what is a pretty standard policy in most cafes.

[londonmum14]

I think the member of staff was a jobsworth and had no empathy for the child. If the OP has been in as often as she states then she was a regular customer. Just because she wasn't buying anything at that specific moment in time doesn't mean that she should not have been afforded the use of the facilities.

I can't see why MN deleted the OPs previous post just because she named the cafe. How many posts are on here where people name big companies and complain about them? They've not been deleted, what's the difference?

[RevelsRoulette]

That exchange took a milisecond?

I think not.

That is at least a minute and possibly two.

And far longer than saying "ok, I'll have a couple of lemonades"

I understand that you were cross. I simply think you were being unreasonable in how you went about it. Your aim was to get your toddler into a toilet. From the moment that they said that the toilet was for customers only, the situation was clear and you had two choices. To argue the toss or to order something.

[treaclesoda]

she couldn't wait ten minutes? I thought you were going to say that the nearest toilet was an hour away! Ten minutes is not a very long time for a child to wait for the toilet.

[Fleta]

Anyway , why is it so wrong to be annoyed and tell the cafe so?

It wouldn't be if you handled it correctly.

"I just want to have a word about yesterday. I'm sorry I over-reacted, I was a little stressed out because DD needed the loo. I was a bit disappointed though that we weren't able to use the toilet - especially as I come in here often"

[50shadesofmeh]

You are allowed to be annoyed about it OP just mouthing off in the cafe in front of other patrons and the member of staff and then complaining about her to her boss the next day was a complete overreaction . You could have just ordered something and used the toilet or left and had a bit of a grumble about it to others.

[Oceansurf]

I don't think YABU at all.

I think it's ridiculous to be so 'customer only' about a toilet, when clearly your daughter needed to go.

It's still going to need cleaning twice daily however many people use it!

I say this as an ex-toilet cleaner

Jobsworths.

[Rosa]

I have popped into a place that I frequent regularly when pg and then again with dc. never had any problems . Cafe have lost a customer and really shouldn't be so daft . Understand if you have never used it but if they know you then common sense should prevail . It simple don't go back ..

[50shadesofmeh]

Perhaps the waitress serving was young and childless and had no idea that when a child needs the toilet that they need to go.

[PumpkinGuts]

No, she wasn't a customer at that moment... But be clever about it and don't fuck off potential customers. They've lost her businesses and she will slate them to her friends. That's how word of mouth works

[Fleta]

The thing is with all these places that are "customer only" in terms of loos aren't protecting against people who will nip in, use the loo and leave it as they found it.

But then you get people who are filthy and will leave the loo not fit to use. So by using the customer only rule they're protecting themselves and their paying customers.

[GrandpaInMyBlender]

I LOVE it when people say they aren't going to post anymore and then they get so riled up by everyone saying YABU they post again. And then say that they won't be posting again but with added PA (life is too short). Not too short to post the same thread twice though eh!

[Mynameismina]

I stopped using the chemist round the corner about 10 years ago, because I thought they had wronged me.

I don't think they have noticed, but I have to walk a mile to the next one