WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..


I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

[RevelsRoulette]

Didn't have time to explain your intentions to return to who? To the staff member you were arguing with? Of course you did.

If you had time to have that exchange that you describe, you had the time to explain what you wanted to do and maybe even place the specific order.

[CackleCackle]

Why was the last one deleted?

[PenelopePipPop]

"?? .. Wheres the sense of community nowadays?? Not only the cafe but on HERE ?"

Seriously?

This is a community where you get to ask if YABU. People give up their time to say yes or no. People on this occasion mainly said yes.

That is not a failure of community. A failure of community would be no responses, or a set of personal attacks on you. You have not had either of those things. You got exactly what the community title should have lead you to expect.

Community does not mean everyone agreeing with you. Or letting you come round their house for a wee.

[SavoyCabbage]

Why did you ask?

Why didn't you just take her?

[treaclesoda]

I think the last one was deleted because the OP named the cafe

[pigsinmud]

I didn't see the other thread. I can see the cafe's point of view, but would have thought they would make an exception for a child needing the loo. I wouldn't have argued the point though. I would have boycotted it for a while.

When ds1 was about 3 he needed the loo, suddenly, in the supermarket. Small shop, no public loo. Ds2 in trolley full of shopping. I asked a member of staff and they let me use the staff loo. They even entertained ds2 in the trolley whilst I helped ds1.

[dollybird1000]

yes your right Didothe Dodo .. that made me laugh.. maybe I have over reacted .. I was angry for my daughter really and where we live its not usual for people to refuse children use of facilities. And their abrasive manner got my back up.. and YES I am sad as I liked going there.

Point taken

and yes there is far more to life than this.. its just an incident I wanted to discuss as had never experienced it before regarding a child... anywhere.

I wont bother posting here again unless re: something life changing / world miracle etc etc

[LittleMissWise]

I've just looked at the cafe's facebook page, they don't only take cash!

[50shadesofmeh]

You acted like a dick OP you could have ordered a glass of water or something instead of embarrassing yourself.
Just because you eat there sometimes doesn't make it your own private lav.
You've now cut off your nose to spite your face and can't go to the nice cafe anymore.

[ScrambledSmegs]

And what was said upthread ^ Order something, nip to the loo, do the 'sorry have no cash, will get some and come straight back'. And do! I once left my ancient pushchair as security while I did the cashpoint dash, they were lucky I didn't do a flit as I've been trying to get rid of that piece of crap for ages^.

[Beccagain]

She couldnt wait for me to go there first and I didnt have time to explain my intentions to return

Oh Dolly you have left yourself so wide open with that reply that it would be the act of the utmost meanness for me to point out the discrepancies.

and you don't have to pay for them, and you can use my loo anytime!

Be honest though, making your point was more important to you than anything else wasn't it?

[OliverBoliverButt33]

In your previous post you declared that you were going to tell all your school-gate mates AND the staff at your child's school/nursery to avoid the place.

So, I'll say again - grow the fuck up.

[Floggingmolly]

You were not a customer. All the other times you were in there providing the cafe with your custom; you were entitled to use the facilities.
This time, you were not a customer.

[treaclesoda]

problem is, if a staff member has been told by manager 'you can only let customers use the loo' then that's what staff have to do! Rightly or wrongly, lots of businesses won't let people use their toilets as they are afraid of someone making a claim against them.

[Mynameismina]

yabvu and overreacting. It sounds like you have cut off your nose to spite your face. The cafe can't be expected to remember everyone who has ever eaten in there and as others have said it is not a public toilet.

And not everyone is going to agree with you on here. I suggest you don't post on aibu if you are only looking for sycophants.

[50shadesofmeh]

^ BUT they were a bit unreasonable for not letting a 3 year old use the toilet.

[Owllady]

I agree with Feminine
I can understand how you feel too and I also understand why they have to say no too

fwiw I worked as a retail manager for years and I never let people use our staff toilets either. It was more than my jobs worth.

[quoteunquote]

Don't worry any business as self defeating as that will soon go out of business.

Go and support another cafe, and take satisfaction in never spending another penny there.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I think the cafe were mean not letting a 3 year old use the toilet. It's not the same as adults using the facilities without buying anything. As OP was a regular it is also bad service.

[Nessalina]

It's easy to rationalise what the OP should have done afterwards (explained re: no cash, ordered a bun, whatever), but she was stopped in her tracks by the fact that the waitress so bluntly refused and dug her heels in to challenge the waitress. I imagine I would have done the same. Born awkward me.

[larrygrylls]

Sorry, but I am with the op. do we want people urinating and defecating in the street. Unless someone does it all the time or is disturbing other customers, let them use the loo. Businesses are a part of the community. In Addition, regular customers should be treasured, they put the food on the table of the business owner.

Really surprised at general opinion here.

[Owllady]

love the 'never spending another penny there' pun
well done quotyunquote:o

poor girl wasn't allowed to spend a penny, that was the whole problem

[ginslinger]

you are really over reacting

[MidniteScribbler]

Customer: Can we use your bathroom please?
Staff: Sorry, it's only for customers.
Customer: I'll have a coffee and a scone and be back in a sec.

Crisis averted.

Why do people have to make life so bloody hard for themselves?