WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..


I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

[harticus]

This time, you were not a customer

That shouldn't matter a toss if customer service is good.
Good customer service is about realising that you never piss off just one customer - that person always goes off and tells loads of other people how crap you are and the word spreads.

Without a good reputation a business is doomed.

[HarderToKidnap]

It's inexplicable when businesses do this. It would have taken a moment of kindness to let a small child use the loo and they would have created some good will in you and you would have continued to spend your money. Instead they have a nice empty toilet and an emptier till. Twats.

[treaclesoda]

I can't be the only person whose 3 year old was perfectly able to wait a few minutes for the toilet? In fact, I'll answer my own question, I know I'm not. None of my friends or family ever had dramas like this. Child suddenly wanted toilet because they fancied a trip to the nice cafe, child was told 'well, we'll be home in a few minutes/look, the shopping centre is just a few minutes away/I need to stop in Tescos so we'll go when we're there. Job done. It's not really doing a small child any favours to teach them that the world suddenly stops because they must pee, right now.

[GreenGiant3]

I'm so shocked everyone thinks OP is BU! (Didn't see the last thread)

I think it's very rude to refuse a 3yo child use of a toilet, it's horrible to think that you had to let her urinate in the street! Or imagine if she couldn't hold it in and had an accident on her clothes I wouldn't use a cafe that is willing to turn a child away from use of the toilets!! Especially when your a regular customer!!

Disgusting, and what happened to "the customer is always right" ??

[Owllady]

the managers name wasn't steve was it? thin, late 40s with white hair?

[SantiagoToots]

Why were you so admittedly rude and aggressive? Haven't you ever heard you catch more flies with vinegar than water?

As for "world's worst customer service", have you ever been to Belgium?

[Fleta]

Go and support another cafe, and take satisfaction in never spending another penny there.



What you really wanted OP was a free use of a loo.

[HarderToKidnap]

Lesson for the future is dont ask, just breeze in with a big smile, use the loo, ignore any thing said to you on the way in, and then breeze out again! This is what I do. Never been stopped. Better if you know the layout so you don't hesitate looking for the loo.

[RevelsRoulette]

Surprised at what, Larry, that she didn't have to be rude, that there was a blindingly obvious solution and it took longer to row about it than to handle it well?

Whether the cafe was or was not unreasonable, whether it was or was not mean, whether they should or should not open their loo up to the public (actually my husband keeps saying he wants to get a campaign going to get councils to give money to businesses who open their loos to the public, to solve the problem of disappearing public loos due to dirty bastards wrecking them) where was I oh yes, regardless the above, there was a clear and calm solution instead of rowing about it.

I wouldn't personally see a toddler struggling but that's neither here nor there. When in the situation the OP described, she had several options available and she chose the most confrontational and least productive one.

[DropYourSword]

Is there a more infuriating saying in the world than The customers always right!?

I love the way you've edited your previously deleted post...would have been better to renumber your points at the bottom though.

I actually considered that the deleted thread could have been a GENIUS reverse AIBU because most people on our were saying how unreasonable the OP was, and some were saying they would actively visit the cafe to give them custom!

[HarderToKidnap]

Oh gosh what a spoilt COW the OP must be, for wanting FREE use of a loo!! Can you imagine wanting your three year old to be allowed to use a toilet?

[SantiagoToots]

durrrr... More flies with honey than vinegar. (Mind not on the job, watching Breaking Bad)

[DidoTheDodo]

Santiago, what happens in Belgium??

[DropYourSword]

SantiagoToots surely it's You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

[Fleta]

RevelsRoulette - that's interesting. our council suggested local businesses allowed their loos to be open to the public. But weren't willing to contribute any of the money they'd save by shutting the public convenience.....Obviously the business said no.

[PumpkinGuts]

Surely pregnant, disabled or child always get to use toilets? and if you are.smart, regulars

Cafe has every right to lose business though. It's a recession, let another cafe make the effort and use them instead

[RevelsRoulette]

The customer is always right

Well, ok, but you've got to be one in order to be right

A customer last week, or last month, or 3 times in July, is not the same as a customer today.

If she'd been canny about it, she'd have used the loo, had a snack and gone about her day.

[Floggingmolly]

Tell loads of other people how crap you are and the word spreads
Tell them what, exactly? That the toilets are for customer use only?
Even McDonalds has that sign on their loo doors, it's standard practice in most places.

[treaclesoda]

the broader problem here is not shops and cafes refusing to let people use their toilets, its the lack of clean, usable public toilets in general. If every high street had clean usable facilities this would be a non existent problem.

[snoozysleeper]

I didn't see the last thread either

Did the waitress recognise you? Because, if so, I am surprised they didn't allow your 3yo dd to use the bathroom

Personally I wouldn't go back.

I understand people saying that it's not a public toilet, but if you we're recognised as a regular customer who goes there twice a week then I think it's odd. I

[HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel]

If you are in there 2-3 times a week they should recognise you. The staff in caffe nero manage to recognise me and I only go in once a week. I would complain to the owner. And never set foot in there again.

[snoozysleeper]

*were recognised, autocorrect on phone is not good at correcting!

[RevelsRoulette]

It is, isn't it, Fleta? The dirty pigs who wreck toilets are the reason so many of them have now closed, but if councils gave something to businesses who were willing to allow the public to use their loos - and there'd be a sticker in the window to show which businesses were taking part, then it would solve that problem. Hopefully it would deter the worst of the filthy beasts, everyone would be able to get to a loo as needed and businesses would get both good pr for being part of the initiative and some cash towards keeping the loo clean.

[Jenny70]

I think it is very odd of the cafe (and owner)... a sure way to lose customers and get a bad reputation.

Our local cafe (which I do frequent too often!) have on several occasions let me not pay and just pay next time (their bank machines were out of action and I had no cash) - and I was buying coffee and some cards/present type tat they sell. That kind of reasonableness and kindness makes a huge difference in where you choose to relax and enjoy a treat.

[Fleta]

Absolutely Revels - my friend runs a boutique in the village and she was quite happy to do it - until she found out she would be providing the service for free. Obviously there would be an increase in overheads - keeping a loo cleaned and stocked for the public.

Shame as the idea was very good.