Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to have kicked off at another mother for confirming her child's fear of dogs!

364 replies

MrJugsMummy · 15/10/2013 17:12

Just taken my DS and our 1 year old springer spaniel for a walk in our local park. He was running off his lead as he always does and a toddler walked around the corner without her mother. Our spaniel is quite a caring dog and loves children and often tends to mother them somewhat (he worried himself senseless when my DS was ill last week slept on the sofa next to him and woke every time he so much as sniffed!) so he went up to the child the child screamed I called Brian away and said to the little girl "it's fine he won't hurt you he just wants to say hi", the kids mother then decided to make an appearance and pick up the child and had a go at me saying that I shouldn't let my dog off of his lead! She then turned to the child and said "Did he bite you?" to watch the child now upping the screaming and crying actually said "No" she then turned to me and said my dog was a menace and shouldn't be allowed near children!

I snapped at this point and said "My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok, he didn't even jump up at her let alone bite her" she then started saying again that he shouldn't be off his lead!
I really got riled up then and shouted "My 5 year old son is here right next to me, I would have no qualms about leaving him alone in a room with my dog as he is well trained and good tempered and adores him, if I had any doubts about his behaviour I would not have him as a family pet and if I had any concerns about his behaviour around children do you seriously I would let him off his lead in a park after school with loads of children around!" I then stormed off and muttered that she was a stupid bitch!

I get so annoyed at parents who do this if your child doesn't like dogs don't take them to places where dogs are, I get that all children are scared of things but why confirm the fear?! If my DS ever shows fear about something I either reassure him that nothing will hurt him or tell him how to avoid being hurt.

Grr rant over

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 15/10/2013 18:26

Umm, rather confused Confused OP states she was in a Dog Park - Dog Parks are ones where controlled dogs are allowed off leads. It is usually clearly stated on the signs. We have 'Dog Parks' (dogs allowed off leads) 'Dog Friendly Parks' (dogs allowed but only on leads) and 'Dog Free Parks' (no dogs allowed).

Why did the mother take her dog fearing child to a dog park?

WeAllHaveWings · 15/10/2013 18:26

alis Grin

maddening · 15/10/2013 18:26

Your dog isn't controlled if it is running up to dc - going forward ensure you call it back prior to it running up to dc or keep it on a lead - it isn't your place to decide that this dc is to be socialised with dogs and you have no clue about that person's experience of dogs - maybe they are scared due to a bad experience with dogs.

YouTheCat · 15/10/2013 18:28

Eve, OP said under control dogs are allowed off lead. Her dog wasn't under control.

havingamadmoment · 15/10/2013 18:28

If I saw my child screaming next to a dog my first thought would be that it had bitten her tbh.
YABU your dog shouldn't run up to children and not everyone (adult or child) wants to say "hello" to it.

frogwatcher42 · 15/10/2013 18:28

Where does it say dog park? I thought it said local park and one with lots of children in.

Floggingmolly · 15/10/2013 18:30

Do you seriously think your dog was concerned at a child being in the park alone, or was that a joke? Hmm. Brian??

SilverApples · 15/10/2013 18:31

Well, our local park has the playground and the cricket pitch and the park grounds all in one, and dogs are off the lead and play frisbee and run.
It's not a Dog Park, it's a shared community space.
But I live in a posh area with the default being well-mannered dogs with excellent recall. The random arses are rare.

Sallystyle · 15/10/2013 18:35

My dog must be lacking in the brain compartment.

She never worries about random children being on there own. She doesn't even understand it is dangerous for a child to be alone. Dumb dog :(

WireCat · 15/10/2013 18:35

Is your dog Lassie?

Sallystyle · 15/10/2013 18:35

Their*

She obviously takes after me.

KirjavaTheCorpse · 15/10/2013 18:35

Ha.

LtEveDallas · 15/10/2013 18:36

OP says her local park has a 'controlled dogs off lead' rule, so if she was in my area that would mean its a dog park. OK, it could be different in OPs area, but I don't know where that is.

MuttDog is hardly ever on a lead, but by the same token is hardly ever right by my side. She is controlled because I know she will come back at the first call. OP says her dog came back when called and remained by her side, so I think her dog was under control.

OK, OP was daft, but to my mind the mother was worse and I'd have been pissed off with her too.

stopgap · 15/10/2013 18:37

My toddler son loves dogs (we have two) but even he is very cautious when a strange dog comes running up to him in the park.

Grittzio · 15/10/2013 18:39

Try and see a dog through a toddlers eyes, I had the most gorgeous lab, who whenever my kids friends got to know her, loved her, but in a toddlers eyes, she was a big black dog, quite scarey looking to them, I appreciated this and she was always on a lead around young children, and I let them come to her if they wanted to.

Also my kids, having grown up with dogs, are taught to ask a strange dogs owner if their dog is okay to be stroked. I have made them aware that not all dogs are friendly.

You know your dog is friendly, the other women doesn't.

SnakeyMcBadass · 15/10/2013 18:40

My dog is drawn to small children as they tend to have foodstuffs secreted about their person. Sticky fingers, biscuit crumbs, random bits of sandwich etc. He sees them as mobile buffets. However, he now knows that if he spots a small person, he comes back for his lead and he gets a gravy bone. Everyone's a winner. My other dog is a tiny cute bundle of fluff and was dognapped yesterday by a 3 year old who wanted to push him in her buggy. She was happily stuffing him in the shopping basket when intercepted by moi. Her mother hadn't even noticed Grin He hadn't approached her, btw. She was stealthy.

Sirzy · 15/10/2013 18:41

My son was fine with dogs until some daft woman allowed her "lovely well behaved dog" to jump up at him and knock him over (he is 3)

We are now having to work hard to get him happy being around dogs, thankfully we have friends who can control their dogs and that is starting to help him like them a bit more.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/10/2013 18:44

It doesn't matter why the child was scared of your dog.
It's not up to dog owners to decide if that is an irrational fear. It's not up to dog owners to decide that their dog can go up and greet anyone and expect that by saying "oh he is just saying hello" then that's somehow ok.

It certainley is not up to dog owners to decide where people can or cannot go if they are scared of dogs.

If your dog went up to anybody, without you saying it is ok then sorry, your dog is not under control.

I have a dog that will never leave my side when we are walking, not even to go and play with another dog unless I say "go"
I also have another dog that thinks everyone likes him, everyone wants to stroke him and be his friend and be licked on the nose.
that dog stays on the lead in the park. He is only allowed off lead in the dog park and even then, in the evening to minimise the chance of him terrifying a small child by "wanting to play"
He is friendly. He does just want to say hello. But he cannot. Simple as that.

Some dog owners think because they love dogs, everyone else must do the same or there is something wrong with them. It's ridiculous.

You should never allow your dog to go up and greet someone in the park, especially not a small child.

moominmarvellous · 15/10/2013 18:44

Children that are scared of dogs with no real reason are so tiresome, and so are the parents that pander to it.

Gets on my wick. YANBU.

AmberLeaf · 15/10/2013 18:44

OP hasn't returned and going off the laughable OP I'm guessing this is a joke?

If not, YABVU.

jacks365 · 15/10/2013 18:47

Eve in my area there is only one park. Yes dogs should be under control the problem here is that the op recalled her dog too late. The dog was controlled but not to the correct level. Children and dogs should not be allowed to approach each other without both adults consent so I'll ask permission before my dd approaches your dog but also I expect you to check it's ok before allowing your dog to approach my dd. In this instance the dog approched the child so the op was wrong not to prevent it.

evalluna · 15/10/2013 18:47

You arw totally in the wrong. My little girl was quite scared of dogs for a long time and it infuriated me when owners let their apparently 'friendly' dogs wander up to her off the lead and stick their faces in hers (scary for a toddler). I don't care how friendly your dog is, my child does not know that and is genuinely terrified. I also worry a hysterical reaction from a child thus frightened could provoke the dog to snap. I would have reacted exactly the same as the child's mother and been very angry. Although I do not mind dogs I would not trust one as far as I could throw it and would not leave one ina rroom with a child. You should show more consideration and keep your dog on the lead if there are children around.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 15/10/2013 18:47

YABVU. Controlled dogs off lead - fine. But a controlled dog does not run up to strangers for any purpose. Your dog was not under control, therefore should have been on a lead. The other mother was perfectly reasonable to say so.

SilverApples · 15/10/2013 18:49

'Children that are scared of dogs with no real reason are so tiresome, and so are the parents that pander to it.'

I feel the same way about people who snivel on about how scary, annoying and suspicious teenagers are as well.
Especially when they are, you know, walking. Or sitting on a bench. Or wearing a hoody. Or headphones. Or breathing.

CuriosityCola · 15/10/2013 18:51

It's inquisitive dogs like yours that make me really nervous at the park. I have to pick ds up if they come towards him as he isn't used to dogs and can be too rough. As the poor neighbours cat found out....clap, clap, grab. That combined with the dogs being at face level to a toddler, I just don't think it is worth taking risks.

I would keep your dog on a leash unless you shout him to heel before he approaches people. I will continue to keep my toddler on his Wink

Swipe left for the next trending thread