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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I? Or is my dh? I need honest opinions as I really dont know!

18 replies

doublechocchip · 14/10/2013 10:32

My best friend emigrated to Oz earlier this year with her husband. They're going travelling dec and jan and have offered as part of a birthday present for me and they know how much I love travelling (had my kids young so didn't get to do much) they have offered to pay for my flights to Bali in Jan for 9/10 days.

I was blown away and posted here actually whether I was being unreasonable thinking about it. I spoke to dh and basically he's not happy. We both had time off to use in jan, he usually has a week off on his own, but I've still got some time to use up without sacrificing the school hols. We have two children (young) but both are at school full time.

He has said I can go but he has been in a mood ever since I told him, I told him it wasn't worth out marriage if he really didn't want me to go but I know he doesn't want to be portrayed as the bad guy stopping me from going so now I don't know what to do. He has said if I tell my friend I'm not going he will pay for my flight so now I'm almost trapped?! I almost wish I didn't want to go but this is a chance of a lifetime, and I have the spending money saved what would others do aibu ?

OP posts:
minibmw2010 · 14/10/2013 10:37

So he goes away on his own for a week, you've now got the option to do the same for once and he's annoyed? So he's sulking and jealous basically? Tell him to get over it ...

RedHelenB · 14/10/2013 10:38

Go - can't see the problem if he has said to go. Just make sure everything that you would normally do re. kids,home, work is sorted & enjoy yourself!.

TobyLerone · 14/10/2013 10:38

Go!

AnyoneforTurps · 14/10/2013 10:39

What exactly is he unhappy about? Is it the cost (presumably you are paying for yourself apart from the flights), childcare, or what? Hard to say if he is BU without knowing what his objections are.

rainbowfeet · 14/10/2013 10:39

He is being an arse.... It's an amazing opportunity to travel to a place you might never see otherwise... He should not stop you having that experience!
If you don't you will always regret it Smile

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 14/10/2013 10:39

Go. He's a bit of a child.

Don't look back!

Goldmandra · 14/10/2013 10:39

Point out to him that you are going just like he has done in the past. That you would like to enjoy the time but that will be difficult if he can't be supportive and remind him that you haven't sulked when he's gone away without you in the past.

ooerrmissus · 14/10/2013 10:40

he's being a twat.

Go.

antimatter · 14/10/2013 10:43

tell him for his week off a year you are taking 2 weeks every other year - I can't see what is his problem

well - I can, jealousy that they didn't offer to pay for his ticket as well Shock

Original poster
doublechocchip · 14/10/2013 10:44

Sorry he has a week off but doesn't go away, just relaxes on his won which he could still do every day the children are at school. He does have a brother in a long haul destination and I was pushing him to visit him on his own last year (couldn't afford x4 flights) so he cant even object saying that I wouldn't allow him to do it. He decided not to as the flights were expensive and also I honestly think he just couldn't be bothered to research it all.
I just have this nervous knot in my stomach and I cant compare this situation with anyone else as I don't know anyone else this has happened to.

OP posts:
ApprenticeSeamstress · 14/10/2013 10:59

its an amazing opportunity. I would guess that his arguments don't gave a lot of weight because the real issue is slight jealousy and fear of being left. just Gu. make sure he knows how appreciated he is for facilitating it. let him cine our the grump on his own.

ApprenticeSeamstress · 14/10/2013 11:01

oh dear, I should never post in ny phone. Blush go come out

SavoyCabbage · 14/10/2013 11:04

Yanbu. If he holidays alone then he should not object to you doing so.

TENDTOprocrastinate · 14/10/2013 11:07

Just being honest- but I wouldn't like it if my dh went swanning off on an exotic holiday without me- leaving me behind with the kids so I think yabu. If rather save (even if it takes ages) and go together. I wouldn't want to go without him either.

Squitten · 14/10/2013 11:08

I imagine he's massively jealous that someone has given you this brilliant gift! Remind him that he gets to spend his holiday how he likes and so should you. I really think you'll regret it and resent him if you don't go.

DrHolmes · 14/10/2013 11:10

If you don't go you will regret it. YANBU

Aeroaddict · 14/10/2013 11:14

I can't think why you would not go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. I can understand why your DH might be feeling a little put out, as you would be leaving him behind to manage, but it sounds like he knows he is being unreasonable, hence he has said you should go. Go for it, and enjoy the break! Smile

nennypops · 14/10/2013 11:17

Sounds like he knows his initial reaction was selfish and he's slightly grumpily trying to make up for it. Just go.

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