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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 14/10/2013 20:02

The reason the costs have gone up is that venues charge a fortune. Stay away from the venue and the wedding industry and you can have a great wedding on much less than GBP21k.

I got married 5 years ago and my wedding at a wedding venue would have cost GBP30k+. Instead I asked my Dads friend if I could do the reception in their field, hired a nice tent and got things rolling. We had change from GBP10k for 86 guests. We had guests drinking champagne all night. During dinner we had a string quartet. The venue said it would cost GBP4k. I paid GBP200. The hotel rooms up the road at the travelodge cost GBP1 each. We booked all rooms for a grand total of GBP36. At the venue each room as GBP150 for the night with our suite being GBP350. Flowers would have cost GBP3k from a florist and we did them for GBP250.

OP get the week off before your wedding. You will need it.

Lavenderhoney · 14/10/2013 20:15

Idontknow, yes, she should have been there, but tbh had form for being snooty at weddings. At my nieces, she arrived, moaned about my hair being messy (!) ate her dinner and left. Instantly. Before the dancing!

She refused to allow her grown up dc to come to my wedding as well. I think I would have broken mn had I mentioned it on there! She was already upset I had had a baby boy ( that accolade was for her, thanks)

Btw- NOT curry.., kids won't eat it, old folk might not like it, it it doesn't go with most drinks, and is either too spicy or the rice is crap. Plus curry puke is revolting. I am aware I am becoming overly involved:)

But a chip van! Check out any fish and chip people, google on the net and ask around to the ones you talk to. The ones who do shows and stuff, at county shows. They might come along for you, and do you a deal. Will there be rolls with lots of butter? ( wistful) even the kids will be happy- your wedding is going to rock:)

All dc were given a teddy bear at one lovely wedding I went to, they just choose one from a basket. They all had wedding ribbon in a bow, even my newborn ds got one:)

Have you tried asking the WI if they have any contacts, or the BL themselves?

When we got married, the day after, we had a lunchtime barbecue hosted by mil ( cleverly arranged to keep her out of wedding arrangements) and as it was so relaxed and informal, everyone talking about the wedding, it was a lovely add on, like a Boxing Day party:)

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 20:24

HelloDoris I didn't know Bromley had a wedding warehouse. may look for dd's flower girl dress

Want2bSupermum I'm a sahm Smile so will be free(ish) week before. May get dp to book a few days off though

Lavenderhoney She sounds charming Hmm yes there will be lots of rolls, buttered Grin have requested quotes from the chip van up thread as well as local chippy to deliver

OP posts:
Poshnosh · 14/10/2013 20:28

We could have used the local social club instead I went for pretty and paid nearly 3k for a beautiful function room and a really shit buffet for 80 ppl. If I could go back I would and have fish & chips or a BBQ!

Poshnosh · 14/10/2013 20:29

And the social club!!

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 20:49

Poshnosh Sad You had a good time though?

Lavenderhoney Dniece as in her dd?

OP posts:
PervCat · 14/10/2013 21:03

its is over SO fast - i am still proud my dress that i loved cost me $125.
really - save your money

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 21:36

PervCat That's a good deal. Will enjoy every bit of planning now. Lots of people say the same. Over before you know it

OP posts:
lagoonhaze · 14/10/2013 22:41

This is fab! We are looking a shoestring wedding too!

bubby64 · 14/10/2013 23:11

We had a shoestring wedding, but it looked a million dollars! Very old village hall venue, tarted up with crepe paper streamers, large borrowed artificial flower decorations with smaller real flower and candles in jam jar table decorations plus a few helium balloons dotted here and there. White banqueting roll on tables with coloured paper table cloths on top, with matching paper serviettes in the colour theme of wedding. Work colleagues decorated the hall for us, I made the cake and mums WI friend decorated it, Mums other WI friends made the table decs and did my flowers ( and we had the wedfing a few days after harvest festival, so church was already decorated beautfully) and yet another helped her make my dress, and we all pitched in and made the bridesmaids dresses. The choir i was in sang for free, and yet another friend prepared the wedding food as a gift, we paid for ingredients. Money behind the bar lasted ages as it was cheap to buy the drinks. Brilliant day with loads of guests having fun, and it looked wonderful.

goodmum123 · 15/10/2013 00:19

Lots if foliage in any tables collected from woodlands? Collect pine comes now and spray paint them gold or silver. Collect all sorts of lovely free natural stuff. Btw when is the wedding so I can think about other free decorations? X

HerRoyalNotness · 15/10/2013 01:16

If you need some cheapish table decorations my SS used gold spray painted pears for her wedding as the place card holders, looked fab. We did that easily ourselves day before the wedding. You could have those plus tealights and white wild flowers as centre pieces.

Want2bSupermum · 15/10/2013 04:02

OP - I would ask someone (could your mother or sister do it) to watch the kids for the week before. You need someone on site to take over so you can get on with wedding stuff. There is so much running around when you do things yourself.

My centerpieces were flower arrangements (used oasis with foil under them to stop water leaking onto the table and stuck flowers in). Look at youtube for videos showing you how to do it. I then used foil covered rocks for the helium ballons. I got the ballons for GBP20 in costco.

For cake I did a three tier cake from M&S. It is available in their store. It does go on sale so if you like it I would ask when it is due to go on sale. For our wedding here in the US the cake came from costco and was $16. Talk to the bakery area because the employees here didn't ice the cake and gave me the icing in a ziplock back I gave them. I stacked it and decorated it myself the morning before our wedding. It was such a yummy cake!

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 15/10/2013 08:41

Lots more lovely ideas on here.

goodmum123 Wedding's in July

OP posts:
massagegirl · 15/10/2013 10:19

Afraid I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I repeat!
I went to a wedding at a legion, it was fab, they also used the garden as well as inside, flowers, candles and lateens made it lovely and actually the slightly run down building made it charming, use it to your advantage, vintage shabby chic is well trendy innit?! Anyway they had couple of gazebos in garden with salad bits/cakes and had a BBQ, money behind the bar.
I also recently went to a wedding in a pub which had fish n chips from a van/stall, they were amazing and everyone was raving about how good they were and just want you want to go along with all that booze, plus everyone likes fish n chips and it was about £10 a head.

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 15/10/2013 22:16

So I've had a quote from a chip van.. and its £7.00 per head! Am very happy with that. Am going to book it. Smile

massagegirl Sounds lovely.

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 15/10/2013 22:25

I reeeeeeeeeeeally want fish and chips now Halloween Grin

Glad things are working out!

Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 22:31

Can you get a couple of other quotes too? And check the food before you book it, never ever book a supplier for food you havent tasted!

I would also ask if they batter the fish themselves (some places sell that awful frozen pre battered stuff which is revolting) and that they will be cooking the food fresh in the van.

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 15/10/2013 22:35

Bogeyface Good pointers.. will do so. Not sure how I would try though- email them and request it ?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 22:36

Well if they run a chippy I would go undercover and order some food!

Then yes, I would email about the other stuff.

Sexykitten2005 · 15/10/2013 22:37

Best wedding I ever went to was one of my older friends last year. Her mum did a cake and she bought sweets to do a pick and mix instead of favours. Everything was handmade, she bought a rubber stamp from hobbycraft and used it to do her invites, save the dates, thank you cards and the order of service. Her dress was a £70 special from china off ebay which was a copy of a designer which was handmade. (Another friend paid £4000 for the actual designer dress and my mates fake looked much nicer !)No photographer so we were all encouraged to take photos, none were staged but several hid in bushes to get those 'intimate' staring in each others eyes photos that professionals always want to stage
At my mums blessing last year we found a wholesale florist and did the flowers ourselves the day before, no dj we got everyone to bring their iPods. Again photos ourselves.

You don't have to spend a fortune, the best weddings are about love not about how much money you have. Anyone who cares more about their surroundings than your day shouldn't be there.

Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 22:40

YY to ipods but small point.......use a itouch that you can password protect (or hide it) otherwise you will get a total wanker removing the carefully planned playlist and putting on the smiths all night. I was not fucking happy!

RhondaJean · 15/10/2013 22:44

Can I just say I would love to come to your wedding, I am so so SO bored of the identikit hotel pish right down to the enforced hurrah photo ?ith the glasses of champagne in hand and the obligatory pick and mix stall.

Bossybootsmum · 15/10/2013 22:53

Spent tons of money on our wedding, got to the front to take my vows and thought "bugger, this is the only bit I care about". Moral of story, get married, have your reception in the legion and save a packet. You'll still be married and that's all that matters.

RhondaJean · 15/10/2013 23:06

There must be a lot of wedding photos doing the rounds with me in the back looking bored holding a glass of champagne now I stop to think about it.

Sorry brides...