Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
SecondStarToTheRight · 14/10/2013 15:46

Check out moneysavingexpert.com
In the forums there is a whole section on doing weddings on a budget - you can get some good ideas / advice from there.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 15:49

SecondStarToTheRight Will check out tonight.

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 15:50

check it out

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 14/10/2013 15:50

An acquaintance's wedding was catered by the local college students for £10 a head including the cake. They were simply delighted to have a proper project to get stuck into (menu/budget planning, scaling up, etc).

A local FE college will have students in all kinds of useful fields wanting the opportunity to build up their portfolios for cost or barely above. The results might be less than perfect but they'd be unique to your wedding and a win-win all round.

SirChenjin · 14/10/2013 15:58

Surely the other people using the hall wouldn't come and sit and your tables and drink the wine on them though, would they?Confused

FeministPixie · 14/10/2013 16:02

is there any way you can get wristbands (Paper, ribbon) and that'll be the open bar pass? You'd obviously have to discuss it with the venue.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 16:03

I would hope not. No I think they would do that. Just we aren't having 'normal' tables ie seating plans etc.. so not sure how to work it.. maybe I should take pics next time we there and put them up. Just don't know how to give our guests drinks etc.. Perhaps a token for the bar could double up as wedding favor.

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 16:04

cross post with FeministPixie

OP posts:
FeministPixie · 14/10/2013 16:04

or, wait, if the booze is on the table I would hope people wouldn't drink it!

FeministPixie · 14/10/2013 16:06

token/ card for the bar.

SirChenjin · 14/10/2013 16:13

Token for the bar sounds good

Want2bSupermum · 14/10/2013 16:19

check the capacity. With DH's 30th party the capacity was 130 so I invited 130 'people'. I made sure that all kids were coming and set up a kiddie corner for them. After we got to 130 they couldn't let anyone else in. Bit rude of me but hey ho.

persimmon · 14/10/2013 16:23

Bunting, tea lights, flowers, plants, good music, good food and booze. They'll have a lovely time and enjoy celebrating your special day with you.
I don't really understand this liking for uber-swanky venues anyway.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 16:50

I'm so glad I posted this. I feel so much better. I am so excited about marrying dp & grateful we were given a venue to allow all our friends and family to be there.
I just was so disappointed with the look of the place. I it didn't really matter as such but still upsetting. Shallow, perhaps, but true. However I think it was also the whole budget that was getting to me to be honest. It just seemed impossible. And what made it worse was that we didn't even want a swanky hotel, or designer suits, or fancy flowers. We just wanted to be able to supply everyone with good food, (not fancy) And a nice time.
All the MNer's that have taken the time to post and more have made me see that this can be done. Thank you a million times Wine

OP posts:
TheFabulousIdiot · 14/10/2013 16:51

mine was ugly. Just get everyone drunk.

Bogeyface · 14/10/2013 17:05

Re the claggy chips....if you arrange for a chippy van to come then they cook it as they go, so everything will be freshly cooked.

SirChenjin · 14/10/2013 17:27

Ahhh, you're welcome plus it got me out of working Grin Wine Thanks

If you think back to the not so distant past, people got married on small budgets as a matter of course. It's only fairly recently that this whole OTT approach to weddings (notice I didn't say marriages?) has come about. £18k for the average wedding? To hell with that.

HorryIsUpduffed · 14/10/2013 18:07

This week's paper claimed £21k, compared with £13k in 2003. Shall we compare house prices and salaries in the interim? They certainly haven't jumped by 50%.

Jenijena · 14/10/2013 18:12

The best weddings I have been to have been in non standard venues - a student bar and a church hall. People want to be there with you.

FairyDairyLand · 14/10/2013 18:28

Dirt cheap paper lanterns hung everywhere (start stocking up now.. a few every week from pound stores and the like.. I know with Halloween coming our pound stretcher has them 3 for £2), and then put cheap coloured glo-sticks in them (you can buy tons from ebay really cheap). They look amazing.

SirChenjin · 14/10/2013 18:52

£21k??? Shock

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 19:23

Yes, a very close family member got married for £21k a few years ago

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 14/10/2013 19:27

And I bet you can't remember much, if anything, about the colour of the walls Smile

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 19:40

No I don't Smile

OP posts:
HelloDoris · 14/10/2013 19:47

We're getting married in July next year on a teeny budget, in deepest Kent. I'm going to look for my dress at the wedding outlet shop in Bromley, their prices start at £125 (all off the peg so factor in alterations costs). Sorry on my phone and not sure I can link properly.

We've hired a village hall and will do the legal bit (register office 2 witnesses) the day before then have a ceremony led by one of our dear friends for everyone to enjoy. Then hopefully a BBQ plenty of free booze, luckily our chosen venue has no licence) and lots of other fun things afterwards. We're decorating our 90's conference style venue with lots of fairy lights and cheap flowers and charity shop asea!

Cannot comprehend spending so much money on one day, but that's just me!