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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 09:46

Hello,
I know the thread kind of gone disappeared now. Is this a whole different thread? Just I thought of something & I wondered if it was a good or bad idea?
If we got married in a registry office, just us and witnesses (?) and then had a blessing and party a week later. Would that be ok?
So still have the venue/ chips/ tea etc. Just without the big price. Is this a bad idea? Just I'm torn. To have a big room (30people) registry office is more expensive (about £650 here) HI don't know how much a blessing is. Just know that we would like it to 'approved' by the church somehow.

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 09:49

gone disappeared ??! Confused apologies for my nonsense Grin

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stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:26

Re:the tea- I would make more use of your lovely big outside space, and hope to have it there. Maybe lay the food out inside the building, and have blankets/tables outside? Some kind of big tent/shelter would be ideal, but I guess it relies on being able to borrow one...do you know anybody who has any connection to the Scouts or similar? You could even organise (or task someone else with organising) some outdoor games? Great icebreaker, and fun for the kids.Of course, you'd have to have a contingency plan for rain...

Re: fairylights- stock up at Christmas, when they're super cheap in all the supermarkets/ pound shops.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:27

So have the tea at the Legion instead of the church? What kind of games?

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:29

Please ignore my post about the registry office. It's a silly idea bought on by panic worrying

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stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:31

Silly things! Welly wanging, egg'n'spoon ,coconut shy, that kind of stuff... (think of the photo ops!)

stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:34

I know you can't afford to hire anything, but this kind of stuff is all the rage at the moment....wouldn't be too impossible to knock up some home made versions...

ttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=621250067908303&set=a.621244344575542.1073741828.196003903766257&type=1&theater

stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:35

ttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=621250067908303&set=a.621244344575542.1073741828.196003903766257&type=1&theater

stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:35

ttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=621250067908303&set=a.621244344575542.1073741828.196003903766257&type=1&theater

stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 10:36

OK, I get it. It doesn't want to be a link Blush

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:39

Its not working..? I tried copying and pasting into address bar too. No luck

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ProfondoRosso · 20/10/2013 10:39

Hi IfIDon'tKnow, if I were you, I'd check that a blessing won't just cost the same as a full service - can you speak to the priest?

Absolutely nothing wrong with doing registry office then a church bit and party later (I know a few people who have done this), if that's what you decide.

Having tea in the Legion is a good idea, kind of reduces the amount of moving around that needs to be done, and I bet the Legion would let you use their kitchen (for storing milk, etc) and they might even have urns you can use.

I asked the partners of two of my friends to set up the tea stuff for us while we were making our way over to the hall post mass and lunch (lovely guys who weren't fussed about coming for the whole day - more for the shenanigans at the end!) They sorted all that out and we gave them a bottle of whisky each. Honest, you'll be surprised and delighted at how willing to help people are when it comes to your wedding. Smile

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:40

Got working. THe h was missing from http Grin

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:51

Profondo We do have a few people like this. Friends partners to help.

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 10:53

Posted too soon again Hmm
Meant to say that the registry office idea was out of worrying about it all etc. Just keep thinking of things I've forgotten and getting stressed how to afford it all.

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ProfondoRosso · 20/10/2013 11:05

Do you have a wedding spreadsheet? Smile It bloody saved my sanity and helped us keep track of costs.

HorryIsUpduffed · 20/10/2013 11:06

I think the register office / blessing / party idea sounds equally lovely. I know exactly what you mean about wanting church oversight though.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 11:10

Profondo No wedding spreadsheet. Did you make get one on the internet? This is a good idea. I dont know what to allocate to what.

Horry Its ok. I think I was being silly, and as Prondo said, its probably the same cost any how.

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ProfondoRosso · 20/10/2013 11:25

We just made up a normal Excel spreadsheet, with a column with everything we needed to do: guest list, make invitations, send invitations, book restaurant etc, a 'done' column in which we'd write yes/no, another column to list costs associated with that entry, then a final column to state whether or not those costs had been paid.

And we had a separate spreadsheet with a list of contacts for each venue/service.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 11:28

Ok.. thank you. Does anyone have any idea of how much they allocated to what? Or did they make it up as went along?

My budget is stretching more and more as we go and its horrible

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 20/10/2013 11:44

Have I forgot anything? Outfits/ Cars/ flowers/ decorations/ rings/ food/ reception music/ ceremony music/ drink/ thank you gifts/ hotel night

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ProfondoRosso · 20/10/2013 16:26

All I would add to that would be invitations, guest list, photography, rehearsal and seating plan if you're using one. Smile

ancientbuchanan · 20/10/2013 18:17

Op, this is going to be a great wedding, full if the people you really want.

So ask those who live near to bring things for tea, or the supper. Honestly. If you want say that is their present to you. You'll avoid things you don't want. And instead of having a wedding present list, get them on a dropdown menu write what they are bringing.

If you provide tea, fizz, wedding cake and venue, that's fine.

PeriodFeatures · 20/10/2013 19:01

Oh lucky you!! Outdoor space. If the weather is good, string up loads and loads of fairy lights outside, get some hay and straw bales, the hog roast or paella sound fab. Outdoor giant games, a live band. You could do some amazing stuff. People will not believe it when they arrive.....

stubbornstains · 20/10/2013 19:35

Ahem Blush