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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 13:24

Posted to soon.
Suitable regarding what songs etc.

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 17/10/2013 13:50

Well, what kind of music do you like in church when you're there normally?

PavlovtheCat · 17/10/2013 13:55

can you put up a marquee/scout tent outside? as an extension? We had a scout hut for our wedding venue (outdoors, that was our 'inside'). we used fairy lights, straw bales, and net curtains hung around to make it look awesome. You mostly need a shit ton of fairy lights, so you can dim the main lights, lots of flowers, muslin swathes, wine.

How about taking some photos of the inside and getting some ideas from us here once we see it. I am sure we can help you make it fabulous!

PavlovtheCat · 17/10/2013 13:57

oh, talking about using colleges and such like, that is a fab idea. We had a spanish guitar player at our wedding. We paid him £100 but he would have done it for the train fair and some wine. He had just finished his degree, and was working in hotels etc to get some money together to fund his postgrad course. He was amazing.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 15:12

Horry I am not a regular church goer. I go to the 'Messy church' with with dc every month. My ds1 goes to their preteen type social groups. I attend for major events, Christingle etc.
I am not sure of the hymns etc though. However I see they have a ceremony service planner on C.O.E website, so will use that for pointers.

Pavlov I will get photo's asap and post them up.

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ProfondoRosso · 17/10/2013 15:44

Using a CD might actually be a great idea. For one wedding I went to last year (in a beautiful old disused church in the Highlands, there was no organ, no real space for musicians, so they had an ipod dock and the music they chose was lovely.

I don't know if the C of E is more rigid in terms of specific hymns for parts of the service, but we had Schubert's Ave Maria for me walking up the aisle, played on the organ and Mozart's Laudate Dominum (no vocals, just organ) later.

Both of these are beautiful (and suitably holy). If I were to choose a recorded song to play, it would be Maria Callas doing Ave Maria: And Pavarotti doing it is wonderful too.

Thomas Tallis composed gorgeous choral music which sounds great on recording, such as this:

Have a think about hymns you like and have a recce on YouTube for lovely versions of them.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 20:17

Profondo Your wedding sounds great

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 17/10/2013 21:25

Some music ideas for you to listen to.

FWIW We had La Rejouissance for our recessional and it's really triumphant on an organ.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 22:07

Horry I quite like Ave Verum corpus. Thanks for the link

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 22:13

I think I'm going to have to go down the cd route. I really would love an organist, however have listened to some great recording thanks to Horry & Profondo. They sound fine on recording, so may ask to play it in the church beforehand to see if it echoes or sounds ok.

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Mumzy · 17/10/2013 22:23

Look what you can do with balloons and organza
www.pinterest.com/gsingh21/balloon-decorating/

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/10/2013 22:25

Ah OP we had a wedding on a budget. To be fair our ceremony was at the historical town hall and was fabulous, but we were there for 25 minutes......

Our reception was at a local pub in the 'function room' which was plain with square tables horris chairs and nasty carpet. But, there were people sitting on the chairs, cloths on the tables and the carpet couldn't be seen. It was fabulous. All the people we loved, great food, i had made favours, we had jars (as in jam jars) of flowers on the tables. It wa really fantastic. Decorate nicely and enjoy every minute.

ancientbuchanan · 17/10/2013 22:47

Yes, jam jars possibly with a twist of ribbon are great. And don't forget tea lights in jam jars and paper bags in the evening.

You do realise we are going to want to see photos?

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 22:48

Mumzy they are some fab ideas on there. So clever to use them that way

Nottalotta Your wedding sounds lovely

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 17/10/2013 22:55

anchientbuchanan Of course. I am going to put pics up as soon as I can to give an idea of what I'm working with. And of course after the place has been decorated and after the wedding.

OP posts:
zipzap · 17/10/2013 23:06

I wouldn't go down the instant camera on the table route these days - they're not that cheap when you take developing costs into consideration.

Lots of people have camera phones and many people will dig out their 'proper' camera (be it a dslr or a pocket one) for weddings - again most of these will be digital. Set up a private page in advance of the wedding that people can upload to and make sure that you put the url for it on anything that you print for the wedding - so if you do an order of service or menu or seating plan, even the invites and thank you cards. Plus have some little slips with it on too. And really encourage people to upload their stuff and share it with you - just make sure that you let them know you won't be letting it loose on the www - that the photos are just for the guests to look at.

I'd also task at least one keen amateur photographer on either side of the family with making sure that they have a couple of photos of everybody on their side of the family in. And maybe you would need a friend or two to do this too, if there's not a big overlap between friends and family. I was at a wedding a little while ago and ds1 (then 4) hogged my pocket camera (to the point where I bought him his own for christmas afterwards!) and if you ignore the hundred or so pictures of the carpet in different places at the venue there are some great pictures in there and a completely different viewpoint (literally as his eyeline is so much lower than ours). So tasking an interested child could also provide great results.

I'd also second investigating the local college photography course or a local camera club as a pool of photographers that might do the day cheaply for you.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 00:03

zipzap would you suggest your idea and photographer from college/ papers etc, or just friends and family?

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SourSweets · 18/10/2013 05:25

Hi OP, no time to read the whole thread right now, sorry! I am an event and retail display artist and would happily make some stuff for you. Bunting, invites, name places, coasters, table decorations etc. I also specialise in displays from recycled materials so it would be cheap (no charge for services, obviously).

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 07:23

Soursweets It's a very long thread Grin
What a lovely offer. Wine Have sent you a message.

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 07:38

I'd just like to say thank you a million times over to everyone who has posted on here.

I really thought I would get a few YABU posts, and some reality checks.
Instead I have a wonderful thread full of lots of lovely ideas & some kind offers.

I have actually cried been very touched by all the support on here.

I now am really looking forward to see how it's going to turn out. Cant wait.

So Wine to all you beautiful MN'ers.

OP posts:
SourSweets · 18/10/2013 09:07

Messaged you!

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 12:22

My dp is unsure about the whole tea bit. He doesnt know if people would want to be hanging around the church etc... Confused
Also I did speak to the church about it, and they said they aren't sure the back room would do it. However we are welcome to use the church hall which is a 4 minute walk away.
What to do?

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 14:33

Never mind- we are having the tea... He was picturing cucumber sarnies and milk jugs.HmmGrin

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Dubjackeen · 18/10/2013 14:38

I have only dipped in and out of this thread, but I want to say your wedding is going to be just fab! Some lovely ideas here, and offers of help.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 18/10/2013 15:20

Dubjackeen Wine

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