to think this is very disruptive??

[macdoodle]

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school ).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit , it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

Parents shouldn't be pitted against each other. The system is failing lots of children and it isn't because schools aren't trying (in general). The resources are not there.

My niece has an acquired brain injury as a result of a tumour. She struggles every day in a mainstream school, but doesn't need a special school. She needs statementing and support in mainstream. The LA have refused, actually said to me in a meeting 'we don't do statements'. I tore them to shreds, but we are still waiting on the Ed Psych despite plenty of reports from her surgeons, oncologists etc about the effects of the tumour and surgeries on her abilities. We've waited 4 years for things to start moving. If the parents of any of her classmates complained about her needing extra support I wouldn't be politely educating them, I'd be pointing them in the direction of their own arse so that they could remove their head from it.

I'm just her aunt and I feel like this, I take my hat off to people like my sister and the posters on here who spend their lives agitating for their children to get the support they need. They shouldn't have to and people who don't face these daily struggles should try and develop some empathy and vote accordingly.

shewowines I DID say it nicely. A good 3 or 4 times at least on this thread alone, actually. Then another poster comes on that hasn't bothered to read the thread or think about it at all and we're right back at square one.

You know, I realise you're trying to be helpful. But I can't say I'm always that worried about getting people's backs up. They certainly don't worry about mine. And I certainly don't appreciate being told to be nice when we've had how many other posters sniping and tearing everything we say apart and telling us basically our children don't belong with their children. Some of us live with these types of comments day in and day out - not just from strangers but from family and "friends" and people we see on school run. And even more hurtful, I've had people say things directly to my DS while he's sitting right there in his wheelchair (or previously in his SNs pushchair).

I think I'm entitled to be a bit exasperated on occasion.

*The first paragraph is great and educational, without the sarcasm at the end. An acknowledgment that it does indeed, suck for the others, would create a more " we're in this together, what a shit situation" feeling.

Sorry triggles I'm not picking on you*

Then why did you feel the need to criticise me in two separate posts over this? If you're looking to antagonise, you're headed in the right direction.

Kindly stop being so patronising.

I have one dc with SN and one dc not. I would be disgusted if either of them were in a classroom situation as described by the OP.

And the people who listen and gain some understanding wander off to their 'real' lives without a backward glance...
Why should anyone explain?
And why should they be polite. What does it actually gain them?

If nothing else, they will extend that understanding in rl, and will filter it down to their children and they will put those points across in rl conversations. Not enough I know, but it's a start.

My dd is in the position of the op. She has always talked to the boy in question but now she is making a real effort, and trying to educate others in her class, all as a direct result of this thread. It's a start and hopefully happening more than you think by posters disappearing into the Internet.

Sorry triggles that's not my intent.

I'll back off

Disgusted with the situation, not a particular person. Needs of neither child being met.

Shewhowines

I know the theory but after 8 years the view remains the same

I'm not a biological parent and my DSCs had all but finished school by the time I married their father, so I have had no experience of this. I had no idea it was so difficult to get a statement, or that there were so few alternatives for those children with disabilities and/or SEN who are being failed by mainstream inclusion. If I'd thought about it, I could have hazarded a guess that mainstream resources were limited in the extreme because of the way education policy is going in general, but until I read this thread I had had no reason to think about it.

I am moved to tears by some of your experiences related on here. Thank you for sharing the reality of the daily battles you face to get the education your DCs deserve. I was already disheartened and disgusted at the way people with disabilities (something I do know a little about, due to my DH's mental illness) are being vilified as benefit scroungers, forced into searching for non-existent or unsuitable jobs thanks to ATOS targets and generally consigned to a future of uncertainty, hardship and fear. Now I see how the next generation is being failed before they've even begun, and if individuals succeed it will only be because of the sheer bloodyminded tenacity of their parents.

We need to do something to change this, and it needs non-parents like me and parents of NT children to carry this fight on behalf of parents of children with disabilities and SEN/AEN (and I do appreciate some of those last two groups are the same people!) because it sounds to me like a substantial swathe of the latter have to do enough fighting for their children already.

My autistic nephew began his schooling in mainstream school but he wasn't supported, couldn't cope and stopped going when he was 6. His parents fought and fought and fought for some education that he could cope with. Eventually he was found a place at a special unit. He was 15 when he started there. 9 years of education lost.

"WestieMamma" that is just awful.

We need to do something to change this, and it needs non-parents like me and parents of NT children to carry this fight on behalf of parents of children with disabilities and SEN/AEN (and I do appreciate some of those last two groups are the same people!) because it sounds to me like a substantial swathe of the latter have to do enough fighting for their children already.

This. Exactly this.

IMO the government knows they can get away with all this because we are so busy fighting for our children that we do not have the time or energy to fight the government to change these things for everybody. Until the general public joins in and helps fight this, nothing will ever change. That is why the government keeps up the stuff about disability fraud and the like. So many people treat those on DLA like scroungers, and scoff at children with disabilities because "ADHD is just naughty child syndrome" and all that rubbish.

That was my attempt at bold. That's why I don't post more - total amateur!

Unfortunately that's the reality of SEN provision.

Trigglesx that is exactly right. It will take everyone.

You are fab pollyandroxy
If ever there was a example of the determinedly indifferent and egocentric.

I think you a great too x

www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/this-is-my-child

sigh... here we go again... round, what, 11 or so now?

Another one with their head up their own arse. Disappointingly proves the point posters with experience of children with additional needs have been making throughout the thread.

In fairness,I am fucking marvellous.

Something like that Triggles.

Thanks to all the decent posters.

I have D&V and have spent the whole evening with DS in meltdown. He is due to wake up again soon. Literally don't have the stomach for it at the moment.