to think this is very disruptive??

[macdoodle]

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school ).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit , it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

hooray! this is what I have to look forward to in 2 years time.

this is exactly why I would LOVE a specialist placement for DS1... however I am highly, highly unlikely to get that.
so he will end up in mainstream, unable to cope with the stress of the classroom. And I will be the parent everyone hates because my child affects their NT child. Their child who has all the opportunity in the world.

My kid doesn't. Doesn't matter that he's intelligent. Doesn't matter that he deserves a good education in a school that will help him fulfill his potential.

fuck off

PS I know the suggestions I made are almost impossible in mainstream education (almost, I have seen it happen). That's why I work in special education.

Blue, you have suggested what I tried to but I may not have phrased to correctly.

all of the people saying "he'd be better off somewhere they could meet his needs"....

do you have any idea how this works?
do you know how few placements there are in specialist schools?
do you realise how hard it is to fight for, and get, a statement saying that's what your child needs?
do you realise that the best specialist placements are usually private and that getting the LA to pay for that is like getting blood from a stone?

what it's like knowing that however hard you fight, the only way to "prove" that your child needs extra support is by allowing them to "fail" at a mainstream school- and all that "failing" entails?
knowing that your child is likely to never reach their full potential because, at the end of the day, no-one wants to pay for it?

I think this is the first time I've ever been reduced to tears by a mumsnet thread

bundaberg.

I understand exactly how you feel sadly.

Me too Bundaberg - the tears I mean....

I'm a teacher. With a child who has SN. He does things that disrupt his class sometimes. Most of the time he brings a lot to them and is a big and valued part of the learning the class does.

OP. I would contact the form tutor if you feel that this is something that is genuinely upsetting your DD. If this child is as academically able as your DD thinks, he must have proved his abilities in some way for her to know; it can't be all bad and the 'top set' should be the right place for him. I'd be asking about the support the teacher is getting to help make things better for this child. If this has been going on since the start of the year things don't seem well managed or supported at all.

As an aside, there is pressure on top sets to achieve at secondary school. However, I'd say that from Y7 onwards there's more pressure to show progress in the mid-low sets, as it's the A*-C %s that secondary schools live or die on. It's the D-C sets that feel the most pressure, not the upper ones ime.

I feel like curling up and dying when I hear about children who are of an age that should know better finding the distress of another child 'hysterical'. That's My Child they might be laughing at. I'd expect much better of my Y7s.

Also, afaik, Baroness Warnock hasn't changed her mind about Inclusion. She just directed her anger at those who use it as a lazy short cut. But I'm happy to stand corrected!

Bunda I hear you. For me, I wanted to know what the best thing would be.

My next question would be, is there a national campaign for properly supported education for high ability SN children?

Twice exceptional children very often go unidentified in mainstream schooling, so the fact that this young boy is in the higher standard classes means that someone (or a team of someones including his parents, previous teachers and professionals) have done a lot of work to help him achieve that level.

Right now, his needs are not being met. There are many teachers who do not understand twice exceptional children and how to provide appropriate stimulation and expectations in a classroom to enable them to achieve. The shift from primary to secondary is a massive change for all students, let alone those with additional needs. To go from a single classroom and teacher who knows him intimately and is able to provide the right experience for him, to being expected to fit in to a mainstream secondary with class changes, different teachers and teaching styles for every lesson and to not expect it will have an effect on him is naive. Hopefully the school is working closely with his parents and even with his primary school to put strategies in place in enable him to reach his full potential.

bundaberg .

i have no idea about campaigns.

the fact is that in theory inclusion into mainstream should work. those who need it should get a statement, which should hopefully include whatever is needed for them to function at school (either specialist or mainstream)

in reality though it just doesn't work like that. there isn't enough money or enough places. LAs know this and dig their heels in over statementing kids... it's a farce.

Hi all, can we remind you of the This Is My Child campaign....

Bundaberg

This is exactly why I ploughed in... People have no idea.

I was close to tears earlier too.
It needs raising on a National level and not just from SEN parents... From everyone

I already am the parent that no one wants their child next to in class... Even friends have had quiet words to ask teachers to not put their children's class / table

Apparently, as a SEN parent we not only responsible for facilitating our own children's education but everyone's else's too because quite frankly I've not seen petitions and Facebook rants about improving provision for SEN or even the change in funding or law from any of my friends with children without SEN.

Plenty about holiday fines though

I get so pissed off at our school system - it fails so many people - if there isn't a campaign there certainly should be.

bundaberg

also would like to address a point made by someone saying about being able to afford (or not) a specialist placement.

I've done so much research. Found several places "local" to me (ie, within an hour's drive) that would suit DS1.

NONE of them allow you to self-fund. Obviously I can see why... they want the places to go to children who need them most, not just to people who can afford it, which is fair enough.

Just wanted to point out that even if you can afford it, doesn't mean you'll get the education you want for a child with SN

I am sorry. I would happily pay more taxes to properly support children with SN and think everyone should be prepared to do that. The system is a shambles.

zzzzz I know, i know

i guess I was crying more about DS1's future than the opinions on the thread iyswim? It's close to home right now as I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and researching how I can get him the best school place so this just kind of tipped me over the edge!

"The people advocating the SN boy be moved/dealt with are obviously not people with any personal experience of SN. You are lucky, but fucking hell are you rude. "

My son has Aspergers Syndrome. I actually think that children's needs are often not met by the education system when they have special needs, simply because it is cheaper to placethem in a mainstream classroom without much support and let them flounder. It sounds like the boy's academic work will be suffering as much as anyone else's, and he will certainly be struggling socially.

Op, YANBU.

Bundaberg, I completely understand and agree. It's the reason I withdrew my son from school and home educate him. The main reason anyway, there's so much I could say about the education system. Your son has something amazing though, he's got a mum who will fight his corner and absorb all of this for him. A mum who understands and doesn't limit him. For that reason I think he is going to be fine.

Yanbu.