to ask what 'black culture' is because apparently I should know

[flaquark]

I was out today and bumped into someone I went to school with. We did all the 'what you up to?' and all that.
Anyway she said that I must be looking forward to having a kid that I can share "our black culture with"
I just nodded and we said bye and that was it

But seriously what the hell in 'Black Culture' because I have no idea and obviously according to her I should know what it is.

Obviously that one skipped me by

And even if you identify with a culture, does it identify with you?

I am thinking of an old colleague of my husband, who said she was Jamaican, despite having been born and raised in the UK to parents who were born and raised in the UK.

She talked about being Jamaican a lot, about her culture etc, and finally saved up enough to go there.

Where she was referred to as the British Woman and treated like a tourist.

When she came back, she no longer talked about being Jamaican.

It's really sad, it's like she lost something by going there and finding out that she wasn't what she had always thought she was.

really that should be others didn't see her as she saw herself, I think.

RevelsRoulette that's really quite sad. That must have been horrible for her.

It certainly changed her views. I wondered if it was because she no longer had any relatives there (as far as she knew) and perhaps if she had been going back to meet family, it would have been different. But I don't know. But she had built up this idea that she belonged there, that it was her roots and her history. I don't know what she expected would happen, but whatever it was, she had a totally different experience.

You know me, I showed you the pic of my youngest's monoglian blue spot on his wrist

Devere there is a clear deaf culture. Just as there is a clear jamican culture. But talking about a black culture is nonsense. The culture of someone from Nigeria is very different from the culture of someone from the Caribbean.

And yes adopted children do have a right to know aboutand uunderstand their background.

revels I can relate to the feeling of 'Otherness' even though I've been here for 20 years, I don't consider myself British. But when I go home, I'm teased for being too westernised, speaking with a British accent etc. I guess we all just want to belong somewhere and she was hoping that's where she would.

Forrin

It's only banter between family. [Smile] But it is hard never truly belonging to one or the other.

I know, mrsd. Poor bugger.

[Thanks] forrin. And thats something of importance. My mother in law and most of the family have lived in kenya their entire lives. The fact they are black is simply not an issue. They never ever ever even think about it. Nobody ever talks about it and it has no meaning to them. They just are them! Same as everyone else.
thats a different experience from someone whose grandparents settled in the uk from kenya and who grew up in a predominantly white ares.
how the two feel about being black, about culture, etc, is very very different.
my husband came to the uk 20 odd years ago. He doesnt feel the same way as the woman I talked about earlier and never felt in any way connected to her views or experience.

That should be.

Heritage and cultural background are completely different to ethnicity. Some people get them confused but they are separate things altogether.

DS is mixed race - White and Black (through me) and Persian through his dad. We want to raise him to be proud to be British and the advantages of it - freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc and proud of his Persian heritage too - the rich history of the Persian empire, the food and music, family traditions and language. He is being brought up to be bilingual. It's very important to me that he understands his Persian identity and where he comes from.

no MistressDeeCee she didn't say that I should know but the way she said the other things she said (we were having a conversation) I got that I was meant to know what she was talking about. Like I should have nodded and said 'oh yes, I'm going to x,y and z'

I disagree with this statement 'African dress, African patterns' because there is such a thing as its ridiculous to think that African an Black people do not have a specific culture, the mistake people make is thinking that the culture is all the same. As prev stated by others Africa is a Continent so there are various cultures and sub cultures including, food,language dress etc. I think it is important to teach children about their heritage this supports them to then build their own vision of who we are. Race and ethnicity and culture does matter and should be celebrated not brushed aside as some like to do.

You didnt say that in your OP. & maybe she thought you WOULD know what she was talking about - not that you SHOULD know. You havent said she spoke to you in derogatory fashion. What this kind of thing does is spawn derogatory and offensive comments on an internet discussion board tho, which I believe is the object of posts such as this.

ie post a 'black' topic in a space believed to be predominantly white, so as to bring up a host of disparaging comments aimed at mocking black people Its an ugly pattern Ive begun to see over the last 2 weeks As if 1 thread spawns another.

iIt always surprises me how people have conversations with their 'friends' then land on here with a topic they know is going to get their friend flamed. Maybe they sit back and enjoy the comments, then grin secretly inside when they meet their 'friend' again.

As said if some black people want to say black culture as a way of expression or gaining a sense of belonging or celebrating we are different and yet similar - particularly Africans historically in the diaspora via the dreaded 'S' word we're not allowed to mention lest we be deemed to not having 'moved on' or having 'a chip on our shoulder' (yawn...) - then, its their call.

Those that dont want to then dont, but dont pretend you dont know why some people need and want to try to hold onto that sense of belonging . Wide eyed naivety in this day & age doesnt cut it.

& if somebody did give their definition of what makes them feel black culture is a term they like, what makes them feel theyre a part of black culture - theyd be talked over as if they hadnt spoken. So it goes on MN

There is a white culture in my opinion, look at scotland and wales, each country historically has different traditions,language,food and ways of dress. What is wrong in recognising a culture of a certain set of people. However people within said culture may view it differently,nothing wrong with that. I dont think OP is disclosing the full conversation.

Doris83 maybe they should visit Nigeria then, because guess what their child is of mixed heritage and that is a big part of who the child is, so what they are doing is not ridiculous as you suggest. Adopting as a baby does not mean the child comes as a blank slate.

Haku - Of course an adopted child should know about their Nigerian background. But that is more complex than simply sticking up a few photos of Nigeria. Although the OP may not be telling us the full story.

I agree with the political definition of black to fight racism and white supremacy. I suspect the idea of a black culture has arisen out of a misunderstanding of this and the idea of multi culturalism.

There can be real similarities between different countries on the same continent. And of course British imperaliasm, Christianity and slavery have also imposed similarities in some countries. But there are real differences.

Think of Europe. Those outside often see real similarities between European countries culture. And some Americans especially see Europe as having one culture, not recognising the differences. But I know that if you actually live in Switzerland say as a Brit, you will recognise straight away the differences in culture.

Coldwinter I agree, but it is a lot more than some people do as they deem this as unimportant.