To think I wasn't rude?

[Sister77]

I was out with some friends last night and the air con was in full blast, I was freezing so I put my jacket on. 2 of my friends who were a bit tipsy started laughing and said yeah we were wondering when you'd complain of cold (hadn't said anything just put my cost on). 1 said its cus you're a skinny Beatch. So I replied in the same "laughing" manner that neither of you will ever have that problem (and may have uttered fat cows).
Well it all went very quiet and one said well that was really rude! So I said why is it ok for you to comment on my weight but not the other way round?
I have health problems which mean I find it difficult to put weight on these people don't know that and to be honest they've got gorgeous figures and are pretty with the best skin ever to boot.
It's just I'm sick of people taking the piss. I may be thin but sometimes I look gaunt and ugly (actually I usually look like this).
It was then sort of swept over and they seemed ok when we left but wibu to be so rude?
They've all been told how I hate being so thin but they still carry on!

[Serendipity30]

I am far from skinny, and in my view they deserved it. They made a rude comment then were shocked something similar back. If they are that sensitive about their weight then they should not have mentioned it.

[nicename]

You could have probably made a joke or said nothing and they would just go on making the same 'jokes'. Now they will probably not.

I think it did serve them right and they will think again next time they open their mouths. I don't usually think that two wrongs make a right but in this case, I'm not suprised the OP bit back.

It seems to be fine to take the piss from people who are overly thin - but not people overly overweight.

[29chapel]

From their perspective they were probably trying to flatter rather than be unkind (like others have said, perhaps as they're slightly envious of your figure - particularly if they don't know your medical history) however i think your response would've floored me too... I would explain the medical situation if i were you then you can all clear the air and move on.

[HesterShaw]

Bravo MrsDV.

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

Besides it is almost always followed up with 'you lucky cow' or 'its alright for some' etc etc. I am forced to stand there and mutter about how its not a big deal and no I don't go to the gym etc

MrsDeVere I was with you all the way until this bit ...

It is a big deal, for those of us who can't eat without permanent guilt or worry, go to the gym, and still can't buy clothes that we feel good in. It is alright for some, and whilst I am with you on all your other points, on this you maybe could concede that you are lucky to never have to worry about it. It's a very privileged situation to be in you lucky cow

[StanleyLambchop]

I think they were worse actually. As well as the skinny beatch they were making digs about you feeling cold and putting your jacket on. What's it to them if you want to wear your jacket? I can see why it would have wound you up to the stage were you retorted back.

[HesterShaw]

and still can't buy clothes that we feel good in

YES BUT VERY THIN PEOPLE ALSO CAN'T BUY CLOTHES THEY FEEL GOOD IN!!!

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

I agree with most of what you say, MrsDeVere, particularly about how everyone should just refuse to engage, and as I have said, I am not one of the apologists for people making comments about skinny people. By privileged I just meant fortunate, as I think you knew really...

And it is fortunate. Yes, you have other crap in your life to deal with, having a body that stays slim without you trying doesn't change that, so basically you just have one less thing to worry about. I have other crap in my life too, with the added bonus that I have to worry about what I eat all the time too or I just gain even more weight. So I think life's marginally easier for naturally thin people.

But that would never cause me to try to insult or demean thin people to make myself feel better, or even to comment on their weight and doing that would be your barometer for determining whether someone is worth knowing or not, imo.

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

HesterShaw - if you can't buy clothes you feel good in that is because of your own body image issues, not because there aren't actually clothes in the shops.

Have a look next time you're shopping in any high street or swankier store, often the sizes just stop at 16, maybe an 18 in some. I don't mean I can't get clothes I feel good in because of my body image, I mean I can't actually go to most shops.

[jacks365]

Its not me its you can you please name all these amazing shops that my 'skinny' daughter can shop in, she's a small size 4 so 6 drowns her.

[HesterShaw]

HesterShaw - if you can't buy clothes you feel good in that is because of your own body image issues, not because there aren't actually clothes in the shops.

Absolute bloody tosh. You don't know what you're talking about.

Clothes are getting bigger as people generally get bigger (as stated on the other thread). For those people who remain very thin, there are few clothes available. They are not making sizes 4 and 6 (the equivalent of what 8s and 10s used to be). Therefore people with very narrow frames either have to have saggy, gapey clothes, or wear children's clothes (not an option for those who are tall and thin). I am not about to make this thread all about me by describing my exact shape to you - you will have to take my word for it.

[WoTmania]

They engineered the circumstances (air con down) to get a reaction so they could be rude and nasty and then got upset when she snapped back hogwash. Maybe if they don't want someone to comment on what they look like or weigh they shouldnot pllay childish and petty games

[HesterShaw]

Actually I see your point after my outburst. My apologies.

Yes there are clothes available. However they don't fit.

[comewinewithmoi]

People don't see fat in the same way as skinny. Skinny good, fat bad. Not right. Ywau

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

I don't know what to say. I am not angry with anyone. I have never tried to insult anyone, or called anyone skinny to my recollection. I have a view, and I have experiences, and I was just trying to put the other side, as it seemed there wasn't a balanced view. I feel like because I am pretty much the only one attempting to put another view I am now the whipping boy (not including you in that MrsD, I think you seem to have a rational view on the whole thing).

Actually, I think the people who talk about weight and obsess about image are the ones in the middle, who are neither naturally very thin or actually overweight. In that case, people at either end of the scale are natural allies. But I guess it's AIBU, so we have to fight.

I don't really care anymore now MrsD's talked about her daughter. I just feel really sad about that.

[HesterShaw]

Skinny good, fat bad

Sorry, but that's not right. Sorry to bang on about this again, but you mean slim with a decent set of boobs = "good", not skinny. Skinny implies sticky out ribs and no hips and flat chested. This is not what people mean. You only have to look at the comments on, for example, the Daily Mail, to see the kind of rude comments the latter attracts e.g "give me a real woman any day, EAT MORE, eat a pie, eurgh, how unfeminine" and so on and so on. You only have to see the vitriolic comments someone like Kate Moss and Keira Knightley attract. Keira is very thin and the kind of crap people talk about her must be pretty hurtful, no matter how beautiful she actually is.

[HesterShaw]

I don't want to fight either :).

I just wish people would keep their comments to themselves. It's not right to make remarks to someone about their shape and size.

Women are all women.

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

Exactly. Everyone thinks about things from their own pov - and I guess I have honestly never realised there's so much skinny-bashing, so I am guessing lots of other people don't either - I pay a great deal more attention to anything in the media/conversation that might be anti-my size, and have never had reason to notice that women who are smaller than size 8 (I sort of didn't really realise it was possible to be much smaller than that, actually, it's just never been on my radar) have a hard time too.

Now, has anyone got any cake?

[Thumbwitch]

"I think what is happening here is that thin women are thinking how they would feel in the OP's position and women who are not thin are thinking how much the 'fat cow' remark would have stung them"

I think that is exactly what is happening here, MrsDV, exactly. People are identifying with one or the other, and taking offence or thinking it was justified as appropriate.

People need to have a little more empathy and think about it all from the point of view MrsDV is making - weight and size just should not be commented upon! - rather than projecting their own feelings about their own size onto the discussion.