to think someone should acknowledge you when you say something

[Gambia]

I am genuinely unsure if AIBU here, but my dh will not say anything in response to something I have said if he doesn't think it's a question or needs a response (he will not even acknowledge it in any way ie by stopping what he's doing). I then am not sure if he has heard me or is just not interested in what I have to say. He then gets irritated if I ask if he's heard, but I actually don't know if he has and find it very rude.

I suppose I feel that even if it's only a statement, you should acknowledge it by looking at the person at least, making some kind of noise to show you've heard and agree or disagree etc. By not saying anything it makes me feel like what I'm saying is of no importance and not worth listening too and it quite upsets/irriates me.

I would genuinely like to know if I'm being over sensitive or whether others would feel this way.

I have to add he can be exceptionally good at listening, discussing etc and is usually very supportive and great husband, but this just gets to me! Thank you!

I could have written this. DH is the same. It's bloody rude.

YANBU. Its very rude of him. I would raise it with him at a quiet time, saying that when he doesn't acknowledge you it makes you feel like he is deliberately ignoring you. He obviously doesn't do it all the time, just when he chooses.

He needs to understand that he doesn't get to choose to opt out of day-to-day conversation when he chooses. It's just plain rude.

He should at least acknowledge you, if only to say "Can we talk about it later?"

Yes yes bloody yes. Dp does this and it drives me insane, wonder yes I will say can you pass me that blah blah please, and then nothing, no response. It makes we want to twat him with the bloody blah blah.

Generally YANBU - but it does depend a bit. I sometimes don't respond immediately when my DH or DD say something to me (1) if I'm thinking about what the response is and (2) if I'm concentrating on some work and it would interrupt the thought process. In the reverse situation, if the other person looks preoccupied I'll wait till I've got their attention before saying whatever it is.

Grr my DH does this too! I'll say hello did you hear me? And he says yes, I say well can you please acknowledge!!

Aghhh my dh does this too. It drives me crazy.

Yes. My dh does this. Sometimes I just carry on talking to the wall. Get just as much back. I think if its not an actual question he doesn't think it requires a response. Very annoying, especially when it's just a passing comment which sounds more and more boring when you have repeated it three times!

YANBU. My DP does this ALL THE TIME! And I've moaned at him about it so many times, his reply is always, "I didn't really have anything to say". He could at least make some kind of noise or facial expression to acknowledge what I've said. No matter what he says to me, even if it's something that doesn't require an answer, I'll at least feign interest by saying, "Oh okay" or "Really?" because it's polite thing to do. Now when he does it I just say, "Don't worry, I'll just speak to the wall"

My mother does this. YANBU it is bloody rude.
I think it is my mother's way of putting people down, it works.

Argh - my DP does this! He has poor hearing in one ear so i have to speak loudly anyway - BUT he also often just can't be arsed to answer or acknowledge. I probably have to repeat about 80% of what i say to him. It makes me very stabby!

Mine does it too. Also answers "either" "or" questions with "yes". Grr...

My OH does this too. Or I'll say something, he won't respond, I'll wait for a few seconds before sighing, which triggers an "mm?'

BATARDS.

Excuse the French

Same here. HATE IT!!

My DH too. I often wonder if its because he used to be an engineer. I've told him many times that its rude and impractical, but he doesn't take it in sorry doesn't compute the information. He doesn't reply to direct questions either if he doesn't like them.

He was actually in hospital recently after suffering some broken bones in an accident and did it to the doctors. They found it so disturbing they actually had a conversation with me, telling me although his head injury was very minor, he might have suffered brain damage. I had to explain that was just his normal self. I told him this, still he didn't take it in. Its maddening.

Am so pleased to find it's not just my DH that does this! Drives me up the wall, especially when (as said upthread) I repeat myself as I can't be sure he's heard me and get a "yes, I'm doing it, don't go on!"

AAAARRRRRGGGHHH.

Maybe I'll start doing it back to him...but then we'll just turn into one of those PA silencey type couples which is prob worse.

Well, against the grain to some extent here - I think it depends on what they are doing. Quite often one of my family will say something to me when I'm in the middle or counting a row of knitting, or listening to a crucial bit of dialogue on a film or prog I'm watching, or in the middle of composing an important paragraph on a report for work or something - they won't get an answer, because my mind is already engaged. I'm aware this can be the case when I say something out the blue to someone else, too.

I feel the same OP. My wonderful father used to do this and I thought it was 'cos he was too cool to listen. DH does it too. Never met a woman that does it. I need constant reassurance what I'm saying is worthy

I do also get the point that is depends on when you ask, and with the examples given I can understand not getting a response but when I say something when we're eating dinner and get no response (for example), it's annoying. How hard is it to digest your food and carry on a conversation?!

YA so NBU!

A nod, noise or some kind of response is polite.

My DH and kids are like this sometimes. Makes my blood boil!

So glad I'm not the only one! My DH does it all the time. It makes me think I've got nothing important to say.

Oh yes...drives me INSANIO

I'm so pleased that it's not only my bloody infuriating DH who does this. Drives me bonkers!