to think someone should acknowledge you when you say something

[Gambia]

I am genuinely unsure if AIBU here, but my dh will not say anything in response to something I have said if he doesn't think it's a question or needs a response (he will not even acknowledge it in any way ie by stopping what he's doing). I then am not sure if he has heard me or is just not interested in what I have to say. He then gets irritated if I ask if he's heard, but I actually don't know if he has and find it very rude.

I suppose I feel that even if it's only a statement, you should acknowledge it by looking at the person at least, making some kind of noise to show you've heard and agree or disagree etc. By not saying anything it makes me feel like what I'm saying is of no importance and not worth listening too and it quite upsets/irriates me.

I would genuinely like to know if I'm being over sensitive or whether others would feel this way.

I have to add he can be exceptionally good at listening, discussing etc and is usually very supportive and great husband, but this just gets to me! Thank you!

My DH does this and it's one of the most annoying things to live with. He does it to keep his options open. If he doesn't acknowledge me he can still not do it, as no verbal agreement has been made. If i question whether he's heard he gets angry with me and says 'i'm only a foot away so how could i possibly not hear you'. We also have the yes/no responses to multiple choice questions. I have to turn the tv off if i need to speak to him - regardless of what is on (adverts/kids tv/something in a foreign language) he will stand mid room just staring blankly at the tele. I say just ignore it, but he gets cross and says 'i thought you were supposed to watch tele!' as if it was an all powerful mind meld device. He will also insist i have never said things i have, which is, surprise surprise, because he didn't listen in the first place.

JustinB - with a 1yo sleep refuser/co sleeper that goes without saying anyway!

Argh! My dh is an offender too!

Wow! It appears I am not alone and I feel SO much better after reading all these responses - thank you! I've had a good giggle reading some of these and completely empathised with lots of you.

It seems to be quite a common frustration then, at least i know it's not just me now(and I'm not BU) and will think about all of you if (when!!) It next happens and try not to get so irritated by it.

I have to admit he's a pretty fantastic husband otherwise and I'm sure he finds my complete inability to make a decision equally as annoying! But that's a whole new thread...

Nope - you're not being unreasonable. I find it rude and devaluing as well.

But no amount of protesting changes it sadly.

Interestingly I played him at his own game and he hated it! He promised to stop but it didn't last.

It's weird and I don't get it, and as far as I'm aware I'm the only person who receives this treatment so that makes it a choice of his somewhere along the way.

I really, really hate it when people do this. I'm trying to remember whether I've ever known a woman do it and I can't think of one, but can think of tons of men who do.

I teach teenagers and a lot of the lads do it. I can ask them a direct question on a one-to-one basis (ie we're the only people in the room) and they just don't answer. I don't understand it at all - if you're asked a question, why the hell wouldn't you answer?

Have any of you tried doing this back to your DH's? What was their reaction if you have?

My hubby does the same, if I ignore him he snaps at me.... I do shout at him sometimes but he just ignores that as well! Arse!