to think someone should acknowledge you when you say something

[Gambia]

I am genuinely unsure if AIBU here, but my dh will not say anything in response to something I have said if he doesn't think it's a question or needs a response (he will not even acknowledge it in any way ie by stopping what he's doing). I then am not sure if he has heard me or is just not interested in what I have to say. He then gets irritated if I ask if he's heard, but I actually don't know if he has and find it very rude.

I suppose I feel that even if it's only a statement, you should acknowledge it by looking at the person at least, making some kind of noise to show you've heard and agree or disagree etc. By not saying anything it makes me feel like what I'm saying is of no importance and not worth listening too and it quite upsets/irriates me.

I would genuinely like to know if I'm being over sensitive or whether others would feel this way.

I have to add he can be exceptionally good at listening, discussing etc and is usually very supportive and great husband, but this just gets to me! Thank you!

Oh no! I am that person who is annoying you all! DP will sometimes make a comment which I think is just an observation not requiring a response, so if I'm reading or cooking or something I often don't look up or do the "mmm uh huh" acknowledgement noise. Then he starts a two way conversation with himself..."Really DP, that's interesting" "Yes Nodding, it was, so I said to him..." If he does this I apologise for being unintentionally rude. He is always nice about it so I didn't realise how off-pissing it is. Oh bollocks. Must ask around in work so see if I'm blithley unaware of annoying my colleagues by doing this.

Unfortunately, it extends to all areas of DH's life. He is hopeless at giving directions if I'm driving. It goes like this: Me: "At the next junction, do we turn left or right?". Him: silence. Me: at the next junction do we turn left or right?". Him: silence. Me: (now nearly at the junction) "left or right? Which way?" Him: silence. I turn right. Moments later he bursts back into life to say "It was left. What did you go that way for?"

sigh.

I am SO glad it's not just me! DP does this and it drives me crazy. He's getting better but trying to communicate with him when he's on his phone (not often, thank god!) or playing a video game is next to impossible. If I want to get his attention, I have to tap him on the leg or throw a cushion at his head

Yep, mine does it too. Then gets really teenagery about it if I ask again because I assume he hasn't heard. Gets equally as shirty if I suggest he should go to bed, or the next morning get out of bed.

My dad does this. He doesn't have good hearing and for some reason, has got out of the habit of listening and expecting people to ask him things. He has been able to lipread since childhood and can pay attention when he really wants to. It drives my mum absolutely nuts.

DH and I are as bad as each other for the "hmmm" pretend listening noise.

This is interesting because some of my male patients are just rude like this. I often wonder what their behaviour is like at home.

It's obviously a dh problem.
He's particularly bad if reading or on the computer.

Yanbu. My h is like this. It drives me potty. On the other hand when he tells me something, he expects me to do lots of mhms, uhus and nodding to show that I am listening.

My husband is exactly the same and it drives me mad! I pull him up on it all the time but it makes no difference...

My DH does this too...didn't realise it was quite a common thing!

I used to get angry about it the first few years we first got together and even then he used to be completely oblivious to my anger. now I gently remind him he's being rude and that normally snaps him out of it. Apparently he's always listening so I should carry on talking...that's his take on the matter .

My husband does that too, drives me mad. I don't expect him to stop what he's doing, or even answer immediately. All he has to say is 'Give me a sec' or 'Hang on'.

It's so rude.

More rudeness? Wowzer. Do you really need every sound out of your mouth to be responded to? Every single thing? Why?

Yanbu, that's really rude. I can't believe it's so common either - why the hell did you all marry these people?!

I hate this! It makes me .

Yanbu.

My DH too! They are all at it! He'll think it's hilarious when I tell him.

My DP and his family do this. I had it out with him when we first started going out because I felt ignored. I pretty much said I couldn't be with someone who doesn't make me feel like what I'm saying is worth responding to.

He now remembers to respond at least most of the time though it winds me up when MIL brushes off what I say!

I do this

Birth my Dh AND ds do this, drives me fucking batshit

I'm always saying 'did you hear me?'

Grumble, grumble YES

'well, bloody answer me then!'

Ffs!

DH does this. I HATE it. Even his mum, who thinks he shits sunshine, pulled him up on it the other week.

My DP's family 'shh' each other in front of the TV as well, even when someone has something quite insightful to say, which I find SO RUDE! Surely talking is more important than watching TV like zombies? DP has tried it on me a few times but I've cut that one down sharpish.

"More rudeness? Wowzer. Do you really need every sound out of your mouth to be responded to? Every single thing? Why?"

No indeed. Not the tuneful singing in the bath, nor the rhetorical questions, nor the whistling.

Just the remarks that are addressed to someone else. It's called courtesy.

Snap. My dh does the same. Then is short with me when I repeat myself!!

Well, follow it up with 'then no sex for you tonight darlingt' - I'm sure that won't get a response either.....

I have just emailed this thread to my DH. The OP could have been written by me about him. He drives me crackers. It is especially infuriating when he'll ignore me whilst engrossed in EastEnders/Corrie which he would strenuously deny he ever watches!

LessMissAbs - your story about your DH in the hospital and the concerned doctors actually made me LOL

Oh OP, my DH does this too and it drives me to despair.

Honestly I don't know why and we have argued about it numerous times as I find it so disrespectful.

So is this a 'man thing'?