To think the school need to support my child

[mychildisnotnaughty]

DS turned 4 at the end of July so started in reception as one of the youngest. Hes been struggling and today I was called in because he ran out of the hall in a PE lesson then when the TA tried to get him back in, he had a tantrum. He then had to wear his PE kit the rest of the day as he refused to get changed and he had no top on as he refused to wear his t shirt.

They said he won't line up either and runs off, also had a tantrum when going to lunch. Also keeps trying to run off at the end of the day.

At the moment I feel he is not being supported, they just keep trying to put him in time out but this doesn't work, I said he needs ignoring but they said that isn't possible. To me it's all down to him being a summer born.

They also complained he's been annoying the school rabbit, this really upset me as at home he loves animals.

AIBU to think they need to do more to help than ring me, as he behaves fine at home so I can't do anything.

[merrymouse]

And I also agree, about cutting the OP some slack. The defensiveness is a natural reaction to being told that things are going significantly wrong at school.

[YouTheCat]

My own child's behaviour was so extreme that he was excluded numerous times in year 5, and this was at a special school. School were struggling. We were struggling. But we worked together to find a solution that worked. It was the only way.

There would have been no point in me getting defensive. That wouldn't have helped my ds to attend school and get much from the experience.

[sturdyoak]

Schools can be defensive too....it's their professional reputations at stake.

[Fairenuff]

Thank you bunch

[nkf]

Based on the evidence in the OP, the school has done nothing wrong. They are faced with worrying and unacceptable behaviour and they have tried a strategy which has failed. They have, quite rightly, contacted the child's parent. The parent has, so far, contributed nothing useful.

The school will probably other approaches. Not sure what the OP intends to do.

[nkf]

try other approaches.

[sturdyoak]

The OP has done nothing wrong either except trying to suggest what might help. OK she failed, but is not a professional, what can work at home does not necessarily work in the classroom. The school failed to in their approach.

Meanwhile all this will be very worrying and frustrating for her, she can see her child is not happy.

[sturdyoak]

^too (typo)

[theothermrssoos]

They have to legally be at school once they hit 4 - whether parents like it or not.

My DD1 is summer born and we've not had any problems (other than when me and her Dad split up and she refused to leave my side, but that was a home issue and not a school one.)

Maybe go in and watch what hes like in the classroom?

[pixiepotter]

They have to legally be at school once they hit 4 - whether parents like it or not

honestly! why do people assert such rubbish when they haven't a clue.

[theothermrssoos]

That was in response to YoureBeingADick

And that is exactly what my DD1s school told me last year when I threatened to pull her out. Had letters from the LEA and the headmaster.

"asserting such rubbish when they havent got a clue."

RUDE.

[pixiepotter]

'that is exactly what my DD1s school told me last year when I threatened to pull her out. Had letters from the LEA and the headmaster.'

were they delivered by flying pig?

[Fairenuff]

Do you mean that, if she missed reception, she would go straight into Year 1 when she started back to school after turning 5?

[lougle]

The legal obligations for the school and the parent are different.

Parents:

Legally have to arrange education in the term of the 5th birthday. That may be by sending the child to school or home educating.

School:

Has to accept children from the September of the Academic year in which they will turn 5.

There is no obligation for a 4 year old to be at school. However, once registered at school, the parent is expected to comply with the attendance rules of the school.

[Willshome]

Agree with those who suggest taking him out of school if he's not ready for the discipline for another year. Better than setting him up with a sense of himself as a "naughty" child.