Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU petty about friends childrens party??

88 replies

Yepyep333 · 10/10/2013 10:03

I have a close friend of 20 years, we have 5 children between us, every birthday party we have for our children they are always invited as the children all get along great! However this year she has decided not to invite mine to her dd party at her house and text saying they can come at 5pm for cake, A mutual friend mentioned her dd is going to the party there from 2 till 4.30, AIBU that I feel a bit put out! I know it's her dd birthday and she can invite who she wants but I feel a bit annoyed AIBU and petty? I think I might be!!

OP posts:

CreamyCooler · 10/10/2013 16:02

Text back and say you'll come at 5 and then try not to think about it any more. It's not your friend who is having a party and not inviting you it's her DC and your DC. The DC may only be having 6 to 8 children do you really expect 3 of those spaces to go on your DC?

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 16:03

Seems like she did not want you round at all, you text, first it was cake, and then she changed her mind to a whoe party invite. If you haven't text her she would not have asked you for any of it. That would hurt me really from a very good friend. I have a very good friend, our dcs are the same age, but her ds is not keen on my dd and I don't expect a party invte from my friend at all, but she invites us round at a different day and we ave tea and cake and present giving then

WipsGlitter · 10/10/2013 16:09

pigletmania you are contradicting yourself!

"What are you hurt about? You know that sometime or another yours and your friends dcs will go in different directions..."

"That would really hurt me from a very good friend."

Original poster

Yepyep333 · 10/10/2013 16:10

Yes I would expect her to invite mine as I said previously I have always set aside 2 places for her children at every one of my 3 children's parties, I guess it's not always reciprocated and I just felt hurt because they all are such great friends, never mind I hope the birthday girl has a great day, it's all about her not me!

OP posts:

Oblomov · 10/10/2013 16:12

Even since your latest post, I too have no idea why you text to ask if thee was a party. You KNEW there was.
You arte just making this worse and worse.

MoominMammasHandbag · 10/10/2013 16:16

Another one here who thinks it is a natural progression. I have been in exactly your situation OP. There comes a time when kids parties are about their school friends not family friends. It doesn't need to affect your relationship with your friend.

I have an old friend who is currently trying to invite me to her child's 18th. I am really not interested in going to an 18 year old's party much as I love them, and I really doubt they want me there. Quite happy to bung them £20 and tell them not to spend it on anything sensible.

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 16:25

Wips I would totally understand that sometime r another kids ave their own friends and may not want to invite mine, just because I'm friends with her mum. However I would expect a very good friend lik op has to phone me up, explaining that there s a party for dd but is aving friends from school say that she is close to, would we like to come round say on x day for cake and a brew to celebrate. Not op hearing about a party from another source, especially as it has been ths way for so long.

Twooter · 10/10/2013 16:28

Just text back and say, thanks , but can we stick to the original plan?

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 16:30

I just wanted to know what hurt op, her kids not being invited or friend keeping it from her, and inviting her for cake when op text about the party. The way the friend handled it would make me hurt not that my kids were not invited. Op you have to get over yourself re your entitlement tat your kids should be invited to every party tat your friend has for her dc. That is unrealistic and very controlling. Just go round with a smile later into week with the present, and accept things are going to be different now re parties

NicknameIncomplete · 10/10/2013 16:35

I have always had split parties. The afternoon if for my dds friends & the evening is for family.

I have 2 cakes & make fresh food for both. The only person eating dregs is me the day after.

None of my family or friends have ever been made to feel like they are an after thought because they are not.

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 17:42

That's nice nickname, I usually do te same too

SinisterBuggyMonth · 11/10/2013 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollyWhuppie · 11/10/2013 13:10

I really don't think this is something to be getting upset about OP - it's her child's birthday party not your friend's. There surely has to come a time when her and your children get to choose who they want at their parties and not have other invitees foisted on them just because their mums are friends. Three is a lot of extra children to cater for too.

I really wouldn't take it personally at all, and just stick to the original plan of cake at 5pm (which shows she does actually want to include you all on her child's birthday)

Flip

1 2 3 4