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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you could raise a smile while doing your boring job you'd have a better day?

36 replies

Department · 09/10/2013 11:12

We have two regular delivery drivers deliver to where I work. Now, I accept that it's not the most exciting job and it must be annoying when you have to wait for someone to tell you where to put things etc,

One of the men always has a cheerful good morning and something to say about last night's football, the weather, how busy he/we are.

The other barely speaks unless he has something to moan about - like us keeping him waiting! Please, you spend an awful lot of your life working, you'd enjoy it so much more if you smiled a bit. And we'd be happier to see you, which might make your life a bit better too.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 09/10/2013 11:20

It's hard to put on a smile all the time if you really hate your job. I know I went through a phase of really being miserable at work and I know my customer service suffered.

I also agree with Stephen Fry when he said "why should we expect people to pretend to be happy about doing a minimum wage job that they hate?"

Feminine · 09/10/2013 11:24

why should we expect people to pretend to be happy doing a minimum wage job that they hate?

Maybe as it is still a job perhaps? I don't think the wage has anything to do with it either!

Original poster
Department · 09/10/2013 11:25

It's not that "I" expect him to smile, it's that he'd have a better day if he did, IMO. I get that it's not always easy, everyone has days when there's something on your mind that makes it hard to smile, but never?

OP posts:
angelos02 · 09/10/2013 11:27

He might have all manner of shit going on in his life. Jeez. Empathy...anyone.

Feminine · 09/10/2013 11:27

Well I agree with you dep

Smile Smile Smile

livinginwonderland · 09/10/2013 11:29

It might be a job, doesn't mean you have to enjoy it. I have a job that I don't particularly like, but I need the money and so I go to work and I work bloody hard and I am a good worker, but that doesn't mean I like being there and that I find it easy to smile and be happy with everyone I come across.

I don't get this expectation that you have to be happy at work because you're lucky enough to have a job. Lots of people are in jobs they don't like but they go because they don't have a choice in the matter. I go and I do my job, but I think it's stupid that people are criticised for not pretending to be happy while they're there.

TheresaMcQueen · 09/10/2013 11:29

How patronising. Its not like he could have other things going on in his life or anything is it? No, for he is but a lowly delivery man.

coldwinter · 09/10/2013 11:31

He could have a dying child or all manner of things happening in his life.

LookingThroughTheFog · 09/10/2013 11:31

In principle I agree. I worked on the checkouts way back when, and it was noticeable that the time passed more quickly with a bit of a smile and eye-contact.

20 years on, I'm in a professional job, and though I hold the principle that I'll feel better if I act happy (fake it 'till you make it school of psychology), I regularly feel so beaten down and stressed and bullied that a smile can't happen. If I get through the day without ending in a seething rage or tears, I count that as a win.

Personally I don't hold with the idea you should be hugely grateful for any job. It's like saying people should never complain about having a cold if they have both their legs.

Original poster
Department · 09/10/2013 11:32

My job is equally, if not more lowly than his McQueen, I know very well what it is to do a boring unrewarding job. I also know that it I spent all day acting like I was bored out of my mind I'd feel worse. He gets regular opportunities to pass the time of day with people in a pleasant fashion. How could that not make his life better?

OP posts:
Feminine · 09/10/2013 11:36

Its good manners really. There is no need to have a Cheshire cat grin, but a small smile is better for all involved.

I don't think anyone should be particularly grateful, more like they are paid to do it...and they have been employed by someone.

I think this attitude is imperative in any customer facing position.

Sallykitten · 09/10/2013 11:36

Why?

It's up to him how he feels and expresses himself. Just because he's in a minimum wage job doesn't mean you can dictate to him.

Delivery drivers are employed because they can drive and lift heavy stuff, they're not employed to sweet talk receptionists.

As far as you know he's clinically depressed or has a traumatic home life. I'm sure if he has a sick child or dying wife the only concern he has should be to smile at you.

Incidentally why don't you run along and tell Alan Sugar to cheer the fuck up? Or is it only people on minimum wage who should be your own personal dancing monkeys?

livinginwonderland · 09/10/2013 11:37

Because not everyone is chatty and not everyone likes making small-talk with everyone they come into contact with? I work retail, which is not ideal for an introvert but it's a job and I can't afford not to work, and I can't stand having to make small-talk with customers.

I find it excruciating, I get tongue-tied and I never know what to say, and everything always comes out wrong. I'm fine if it's related to work but I hate having to make mundane small-talk with people.

Feminine · 09/10/2013 11:41

Why are we concentrating on his wage Confused

Its not relevant.

I don't think op made that point.

My DH does a crappy job, he has done many crappy jobs...he still managed a smile.

think I spent too long living in America

Original poster
Department · 09/10/2013 11:41

I get that too living, but "good morning" with a smile rather than a grunt?

Sally, what? It doesn't matter to me - the grunter is gone more quickly so I can get on with my day, but yes, I do think he would enjoy life more if he smiled occasionally - which is the case for everyone whatever their "status" I'm only talking about delivery drivers because I see two extremes of behaviour on a regular basis.

He's not only employed to lift stuff, he's employed to provide customer service. Would it be Ok for a shop assistant to grunt at you when you say good morning?

OP posts:
Feminine · 09/10/2013 11:43

Actually, reading OP s first post...

The driver does have something to say...he likes to complain!

livinginwonderland · 09/10/2013 11:47

I just think some people aren't good with social niceties and it's not really worth fussing over. He's not a store manager - he's a bloke employed to drive a van and lift heavy stuff. I do agree that a smile isn't hard but I also don't understand expecting people to be happy in jobs they hate.

Original poster
Department · 09/10/2013 11:51

I'll say it one more time. I don't "expect" him to be happy, it doesn't matter to me, he's with me for a few seconds a day. I feel sorry for him being so miserable and I think he would enjoy life more if he smiled a bit, even if it took a bit of effort.

OP posts:
Dahlen · 09/10/2013 11:51

He doesn't have to be cheerful and chatty, but a basic level of good manners should be considered essential in any customer-facing role.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/10/2013 12:04

I think he would enjoy life more if he smiled a bit

Doesn't that assume he's just a miserable sod for no good reason? Maybe raising a smile is a downright struggle for him because outside of work he doesn't have much to smile about. Being told you'd feel better if you smiled a bit more is a bit like being told to "just think positive" (when thinking positive really isn't going to cure your OH's cancer) or "cheer up, it might never happen" (when it already has).

I'm not convinced that a fake smile and social small-talk adds much to customer service anyway. I know that customer assistants generally aren't genuinely cheerful to see me and don't particularly care how my day's been when they ask. In the face of surly customer service, I just carry on acting how I would regardless and continue being peppy myself.

Feminine · 09/10/2013 12:15

Miserable mute, old sod is one thing. op says he manages to complain.

he is summoning up energy for something then isn't he?

Turn that frown upside down!

TheresaMcQueen · 09/10/2013 12:21

Oh, of course, dep! A few minutes of pleasant conversation with you will be enough to wipe out any misery he may be feeling about his life that you aren't privy to. Hmm

witsalmader · 09/10/2013 13:25

Do you walk around grinning inanely at all and sundry?

witsalmader · 09/10/2013 13:28

I feel sorry for him being so miserable and I think he would enjoy life more if he smiled a bit, even if it took a bit of effort.

I think you're being disingenous, to be honest.

I also think that "Unhappy? Why not try not being unhappy?" is fascinatingly stupid advice.

MrsDavidBowie · 09/10/2013 13:33

If you are in a job where you have to Make contact with people, you should have a modicum of pleasantness about you.
Good manners.