To wonder how you actually use a bidet?

[Bearbehind]

I can honestly say I have never used a bidet and it's not really the kind of thing you see other people using and learn from them, so how do you actually use one?

www.property-in-the-sun.com/images/Blog/feb_2007/siamese_sophie_bidet.jpg

Well, I use one to wash my feet but that is not the approved method.

your feet obv! I love them for a quik freshen up specially now my big end has gone and widdle myself unexpectedly (TMI). Washing baby bottoms after a total fountain in the nappy.
All sorts
RInsing lettuce

I wonder this too, I imagine you sit on like a loo and turn taps on and get a 'shower'? really really want one.

Lettuce?

All the veg in fact. and me smalls

They're for washing feet or keeping magazines in to read on the loo!!!

I could never figure out this glorified toilet when I was a child, so I shat in it once and didn't understand why everyone was angry.

I've never owned or lived (beside childhood home) anywhere that has a bidet. So I asked my Mum; she called it a vag-washer-baby-cleaning-period-pant-soaker-and-occasional-emergency-wee-stop

I like to think of it as such

I was looking at house porn way out of my price range the other day and came across a house with not only a bidet, but also a urinal - with a lid!

I have no clue but I was really scared of my friend's one when I was a child...it was avacado green (remember avacado bathroom suites?) and very ominous....with gold taps...

This is one of the biggest questions of my life.

If you use a bidet. What do you dry on? Toilet roll will go bitty and stick to your bum. Do people provide an arse towel? What if someone uses it and uses the hand towel? Then your drying your hands on arse.

It blows my mind

PMSL @ "Arse Towel"

Just follow these simple

So glad you have asked this.

Re: drying, is this what people mean when they refer to bum towels?

I am going to get one.
I don't know how to use one but I'm not going to let that stop me.
I suspect you wipe your bum in the usual way and then, once 'clean', you move across to the bidet and do the shake and splash and put the freshness back.
Alternatively you could just rub some minty toothpaste on your
A-hole.
I wonder if they do bidets with Dyson style 'air blade' heat blowers to dry your ring piece off without recourse to an arse towel (don't fancy one of those much)?

My MIL has recently had one put in and there is a towel hung up next to it which always looks a bit grubby!!

If you have one you soon find a use for it, or various uses.
Like being in the magic circle as a bidet owner I couldn't possibly divulge it's secrets
But I will say I don't know how I ever washed my lettuces without one!

Stepaway - No! you do not sit on it like a loo. You sit forward legs akimbo and wash. We have a hand sized towel on a hook like you do next to the sink and you use that and change it when you have finished. We also have them next to the loo so you can sit on the toilet lid and wash your feet (i almost wrote plates then but realised most of mn would think i actually meant dinner plates rather than feet )

I have always had a bidet. Mum used to live in Sicily and wouldn't contemplate a bathroom without one. Everywhere we moved to had to have one put in. They are great.

Oh and i have never really used them for after going to the loo. Usually just freshening up on a hot day or for after shagging. It's good to bath babies too.

Ah, I just assumed they are used to be sure one's chocolate starfish is as clean as possible after an evacuation from brown town

I am not sure, but when staying in a hotel with my family, there was one in the bathroom, which my then 6yo DB was confused by, the first evening he announced he was off for a wee, my DM opened the door to see my brother cheerfully pissing in the bidet. :o

Nope - it's for your lady parts not your nipsy.

As a child i often pissed in the bidet too - much easier to sit on :)

I am so confused. But i still want one!