To wonder how you actually use a bidet?

[Bearbehind]

I can honestly say I have never used a bidet and it's not really the kind of thing you see other people using and learn from them, so how do you actually use one?

One foot at a time Ghoul ?
But feet are really a secondary consideration bidet wise, they're much better for fanjo's and hair-washing I find ...

... Think of it as a top and tail bowl for grown-ups ?

Oh yes, that makes much more sense. I've had no sleep at all.

Ah, bless you Ghoul
Is it little ones keeping you up ?

Perhaps Prince William could fly in and winch you up in his helicopter after you've washed your tootsies? (that's your toes !!)

Mrs Koala - thanks for all your explanations!

But they don't have a seat so they're uncomfortable to sit on, or am I doing it wrong??.

We moved last year and acquired one. I had a go but it was such a faff and I felt silly swishing about with squirty taps and getting my slippers all wet. I assume they're from an era when people didn't have baths or showers as often as we do now.

Anyway, it's days are numbered. When we do the bathroom it's going.

I guessed you were meant to sit down forward facing ... but why hasn't it got a seat?

AND what a pain with your knickers and maybe tights round your ankles ... stretched to buggery underneath you ... as you attempt to shuffle into position on the bidet!

Only time i used one was to throw up violently in, in Italy.

'their coin purses'?!?

fluffy, good point about your clothes being 'stretched to buggery underneath you'. It's all getting more complicated, not less.

I think I'll continue to give them a wide berth! Boak at the thought of stretching your knickers around the front and wiping off other peoples 'dribbles' with them!

Bearbehind you just take your knickers off. i don't understand why you would stretch them anywhere

And if you were facing front you couldn't logistically stretch them anyway. Your ankle would have to be behind you for that.

In the hot countries where they are traditionally used i doubt women wear tights or jeans for that matter.

I only use mine when i have time for a wash, not after taking a slash or anything.

Knicker strectching aside- I can't even touch a toilet seat in a public loo with my hands (I use my foot and I know one day my shoe will go down the pan!) so the thought of putting my hands in water in a bowl that other peope have washed their arse in makes me want to vomit!

What the hell is a Penis Beaker - I am NOT googling it!

And Bearbehind if you stay somewhere do you not bath in a bath where someone has sat their arse in? Also you don't really use other peoples. It's not like i nip for a piss then remove my alan whickers and straddle their bidet. I use my own, at appropriate times. I'd be if someone went to use the loo and i heard the bidet running. Same as if they just got into my shower.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis?pg=1

Penis beaker thread

Holy shit. Just read that link. That's mad. People 'clean up' after sex? What's to clean? Have i been doing it wrong all these years? How dirty do you guys get? My mind is boggling and i feel i'm a) shit at the sexing, and b) a total scangebag.

I'm very particular about hotel baths too mrsk, there aren't many i'll venture into- they have to look very clean!

I found out about bidets after I gave birth and was staying on the maternity ward. All the toilets on the ward had bidets for cleaning up the lady parts.

I've wanted one every since.

It felt like an initiation step; I assumed the secrets of bidet use were something all mothers giving birth in hospitals, learnt.

I've used it to wash my feet although when I was younger I did a giant poo in one and tried to 'flush' it before giving up.

Sorry aunty