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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a second glass of wine (pregnant)

90 replies

FlightMode · 05/10/2013 22:29

I'm not a big drinker, half a glass a week is the most I've had in pregnancy (not much more when not pregnant) -am 25 wks

But DH brought home a really, really nice bottle of red tonight and I had one small glass with dinner - it was lovely. I've just poured myself another. Doubt I'll finish it, but is it terrible to even start it?

OP posts:

Jennyl131 · 06/10/2013 07:27

thanks afritutu. Just what a wine appreciating breastfeeding mum needed. Having looked at other research I've never pumped and dumped after a glass (or two , or even three!) of wine with diner. And yes, I had probably a glass or two a week of wine while pregnant. [ducks to avoid inevitable mn backlash] Have 3 DC and each pregnancy was different. With dc 1 even smell of alcohol made me want to vomit (had just enrolled on a wine tasting course) with dc2 &3, went off certain drinks but not others (red wine dc2 & white wine dc3).
This www.theguardian.com/science/2013/feb/19/advising-pregnant-women-drink-no-alcohol
Linda Geddes book bumpology is worth a read too.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 06/10/2013 07:41

Wheresmy my DH didn't drink more than one small glass in my last month. I didn't drink more than one small glass throughout (and we have genuinely tiny wine glasses!)

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 06/10/2013 07:47

I wasn't talking about you personally, just I have seen many a thread where people pile on to tell someone that it's not a lot to ask and it's a max of 4/5 weeks and what a selfish twat they are for drinking. Yet on the flip side everyone posts to say yeah go on have a drink baby will be fine. We have no idea how that person metabolises alcohol or whether there are any underlying issues that may mean its even less of a good idea. Makes no sense to me, and they are expecting others to do what they can't do themselves.

WillSingForCake · 06/10/2013 07:47

I don't get why people want to drink toxins whilst pregnant. It's only 9 months, why take the risk?

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 06/10/2013 08:00

Because there isn't a proven risk of the occasional small drink causing any problems for the baby? Because you can't avoid toxins anyway? Because there is no reason to entirely abstain and it's the lazy answer to advise it without engaging with any of the research actually done about it? Because health guidelines infantilise pregnant women by recommending no alcohol because they don't trust them to distinguish between a small amount and a lot?

I wouldn't advocate a pregnant woman getting drunk. Likewise I wouldn't advocate her husband getting drunk when he is likely to have to drive at short notice.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 06/10/2013 08:11

But why? I mean why go to all the effort to research it, to prove points that one or two won't hurt? Why is it not possible to just not have any?

Yonionekanobe · 06/10/2013 08:12

Toxins are naturally occurring and to my (admittedly limited) knowledge don't tend to occur in wine.

The argument re. would you give your baby a bottle with wine in it is flawed for the reasons jelly mentions, but also because it omits to mention the function of the mother's liver etc.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 06/10/2013 08:16

Of course it's possible to not have any. It's not necessary though. I love to read about pregnancy, birth, childrearing etc so I don't find it an effort - I think it's interesting.

CustardOmlet · 06/10/2013 08:50

As its not known exactly how much alcohol can cause damage, I went with zero alcohol zero risk. Plus it seemed silly spending loads of money of pregnancy vitamins and being obsessive about my 5 a day to then drink alcohol.

9 months of t-total was well worth knowing I gave DS the best chance.

icklemssunshine1 · 06/10/2013 08:57

With DD I didn't drink at all - even whilst trying to conceive. We started trying again last December but didn't think we would conceive first month. I drank every day over Christmas &, as had two slipped discs was taking painkillers on & off. I miscarried at 11 weeks. I still blame myself.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 06/10/2013 09:05

Icklems that is very sad and I'm so sorry. FWIW I didn't know with DS until I was eight weeks - I'd been on holiday in France eating unpasteurised cheese, rare steak, drinking red wine and cocktails - he was absolutely fine. In preparation for ttc #2 I went on a health kick and cut out alcohol entirely, did everything by the book and miscarried. Sometimes these awful things just happen but you really shouldn't blame yourself

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 06/10/2013 09:09

I don't drink at all in pregnancy, it's not worth the unknown risk.

If any other women want to then I wouldn't judge, their body their choice.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 06/10/2013 09:12

Dd1 was a complete surprise. I didn't even know i was pregnant til four months maybe more. I'd done everything, smoked, drank, had loads of coffee,carried heavy stuff, and I had been living of toast. . Those weeks before the scan wondering what damage I had done were unbelievabley stressful.i stopped everything the second I found out but I was soooo scared at what might be wrong with the baby and I kicked myself that I hadn't noticed I was pregnant but, the first stress reactions my body has are spots and periods stopping so it wasn't unusual for me to go weeks without one. Luckily everything was ok.

Dd two I knew early and drink went out the window the whole time. Honest to god I cannot imagine feeling like I did with dd1 through choice. A lot of my friends who have had babies carried on drinking and smoking through choice as they knew and their babies are fine. Not a gamble id wanna take though. To this day I worry about what illnesses in dd1 were my fault. I didn't know I was pregnant but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty. I would give up drink in a heart beat if I fell pregnant again.

colleysmill · 06/10/2013 09:14

I consume alcohol everyday - admittedly in minuscule amounts although the packaging doesn't state exactly - but its still there in the medication I take as absolute ethanol. Admittedly its a drug they tried to avoid in pregnancy where possible but my options are limited so I took it last pregnancy and have continued it for this one.

So not possible for me (and probably others) to completely avoid it!

jammiedonut · 06/10/2013 09:31

It's up to you of course, no one on here can make that decision for you! I drank a hell of a lot before finding I was pregnant at 8 weeks, so the guilt from that (silly I know, but was a ridiculous amount of wine) stopped me from drinking! I think I had my first sip when ds was 4 days old, it was amazing! If I were you I'd recork that lovely bottle and have another glass another day! Oh and my wine of the moment is from Aldi, £3.69 a bottle but honestly one of the nicest reds I've come across, and I sell wine for a living!

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