State or private school?

[Flowerybitch]

I think if I had the money I would send my children to private school, but do you really think it's worth the money?

It depends entirely on what the schools are like in your area.

What is with the bingo this week?
The only thing that hasn't been raised for a bun fight is dog poo.

Ooh OP this is a brave one for a Saturday morning.

We have been thrilled by our DC's private schools. That is not to say we would not be thrilled had they gone to state school as I can't compare it.

Where is the AIBU bit?

Be bit more specific, OP.

FWIW I only have experience of State schools, both DC are doing very well and I don't think they would be doing any better at Private School.

It depends!
I think almost all of MN agree not all private schools are better than all state schools. Money is not the only factor.

It depends on both the school and the child. I went to both state and public school, and for me the (very minor) public school was better than the (average) state school.

I was hoicked out of the state system during the last round of the teachers strikes in the 80s, and I'm considering that we might do the same with the kids this time if it looks like this is going to me a long running battle (not that I disagree with the teachers right to strike - but there's no point in pretending this won't impact on the kids education if its a regular occurance).

I think private primary is only worth it if you are very rich, your local primaries are truly awful (and most in nice areas arn't) or it really fits your life style or that of your DCs.

I know couples who both work ridiculous hours with long commutes who go from 8-6 nursery to 8-6 wrap round private school, personally I wonder why the fuck they have DCs they haven't seen since they were 6 months old, but I guess that's their choice.

The other reason which I find far easier to support is the family with totally sport mad boys, who's mum spent every evening taking to a 101 sports practices or arranging for her CM or parents to do the same the days she worked, it got stupid.

It depends on what you actually want from private education.

If you want a "better education", ie. for your DCs to finish school with better exam results and to be engaged, interested students - then no. Typically you are not going to get good value for money. There are loads of excellent state schools filled with talented teachers and hardworking pupils. And tbh, your home and family life will generally be a much stronger support structure for your DCs academic success than any school.

They're also not good value in the sense that if you set aside the money you would spend on fees, and spent it on private tutors and language lessons, sports coaching and educational trips to supplement state school education, you'd get much more value for money - and highly personalised education.

But what a private school can and does buy children is a peer group who (pretty much) all come from an affluent background, who they will likely remain friends with through university and their careers, and can rely on for networking opportunities and 'hidden' jobs. They also instill a sense of privilege and superiority in children, which can give them a kind of confidence in their young adult lives. if you think that these are positive things, and that education and job opportunities should work along these lines, and that this is a good message to instill in your children then yes, private school would probably be worth it for you.

It depends what you want. We looked at all the local schools, 2 state & 2 private. One of the private ones felt totally right for our DC's. They way they focus of different things, their style of teaching, small class (18 children per year group), lovely teachers, the children all seemed really nice and it just had a great feel to it. It's very relaxed and you have children there from normal income families and a few from better off families. There's no pressure at all for expensive trips. All the families get together for little events the children do and it's a great atmosphere.

We don't live in the UK and it was also important that the DC are taught in the three languages that are spoken here and this school does that. The idea of private schools being 'snooty' or just for posh people isn't the case at all. We can afford it (£5k a year for each child), as a family we live on DH's wage and my wage goes to pay for school and savings, we just don't go on holidays abroad.

I agree with Headsdown but this only works if you are as rich as the others. Being one of a minority of poor children at a rich private school just filled me with the sense of being inferior and trashed my confidence. I was good at all subjects but never top of the class at anything.

A recent study suggested children do better at an average school as top of the class than at a 'better' school where they would be in the middle of the class. I think they may have a point...

headsdown is only right if you are looking at average private schools. If you look at the top flight private schools that get the very best A level results then there is a big gap in achievement. Especially in subjects like physics where there is a national shortage of teachers. The A level subject mix at state school can be very different, with much more chance of DC choosing uncompetitive subjects. Again, that depends on where you live, because some state schools do offer good A level teaching in maths, science and modern languages.

A lot is going to depend on whether your DC needs access to teaching at that level, if your local private schools offer that, and if your state school doesn't.

For little kids I honestly don't see the point of going private.

I agree that elite private schools deliver very impressive exam results. But they are very expensive, and so I'm not convinced they offer 'value for money' in the education stakes.

It costs nearly 200K to put a kid through Eton. More if you include music lessons and extras. At least another 30K to put them through a decent feeder school.

I struggle to believe that this represents value for money for 4As A-Level and some academic extension work.

They offer a lot more of course, in terms of networking, status and confidence. But if good A-Level results and intellectually engaged young adults are what you're aiming for, I don't think you need to blow a quarter of a million on it.

Having worked in an 'average' state secondary I would say it is definitely worth it.

If at all avoidable, I would never send my children to private school.

I say that because I can see one reason why I would - if there were NO decent state schools near us, which thankfully isn't the case.

I don't like the mentality and ethos that comes with most private schools. They (IMO) breed a sense of entitlement and give a skewed view on the world and it's people. In addition to that, many people i have met who come from this background are...hmm...not the type of person i would choose to spend time with. Not for me.

The school that came top of all boys schools, beating eton into nowhere, is magdalen college school. 92% of all A levels were Aand A* That costs £14k a year and most go for 7 years which would be £98k. If you just go for sixth form, thats £28 k. Boarding schools are a massive rip off,and anything that costs 250k is going to tip you right into rich la-la land, no question.

Depends what you want from education and what the state schools are like where you live. We luckily managed to get DC1 into an excellent state school that we are very happy with so for us, no it would not be worth the money. I would rather use that money to enhance his state schooling with extra clubs, activities, etc, to bring out his abilities.

DH went to a very well known private school that has spat out many politicians and general famous types but he hated it. Everyone was exceptionally snobby and you either had to conform or your life was made hell. Conformity is not DH's strong point so he was miserable there. His brother, on the other hand, seemed to benefit from it and went on to Oxford, etc. They both have very good jobs at the end of it but they are utterly, utterly different people.

I've given this subject a lot if thought and no, I would avoid private education. My dh went private and they were told daily to remember that they were 'la créme de la créme'
Do I want that or do I want my children to mix with children from all economic backgrounds?
The latter.

Depends on too many factors to say yes/no without more information:

• depends on the child
• depends on which state school
• depends on which private school
• depends on finances etc

FWIW my DD is at an independent secondary school, just started. So far, so good. She was an independent primary school which we would definitely say was worth it for DD - she loved it there. Yes, she might have been the same at a state primary - but as she wasn't there then I can't say for sure one way or the other. Jut know that we were extremely happy with her independent option.

usuallyright - not all private schools have that attitude. Also, some state schools, especially in selective education systems, have the same attitude.

There is no right or wrong answer ime and imo. It depends on too much.

The main one for me is class size and the amount of teacher attention that your DC gets in state vs. private. There are, of course, fabulous state schools and pretty rubbish private ones, so you need to make sure your DC is actually getting a better deal all round, but small class sizes make a big difference IMO. My DC (in a private school), gets to read with a member of staff every day and with me at home. My friends with DC in state schools in this area get to read to an adult a couple of times a week. In the early years this additional attention can make a big difference. I also think it's easier on them socially to be in a smaller class - it's less overwhelming and the DC all get to know each other better, more quickly. OTOH, a bigger class gives them a larger pool of potential friends and probably a more interesting and balanced mix of local people.

I was educated privately and I was NEVER told we were the 'creme de la creme' and I'm baffled that any school would TBH.

It depends what you are looking for, what the local schools are like, and what your child is like.

If you can afford to go private, you are able to choose the school that is right for your child, either private or state. If you go state, you may be lucky and get a school that suits your child, but if you get one that isn't suitable there isn't much you can do about it.

I teach in an independent school, but have previously worked in state schools. My school's selling points are its excellent facilities, beautiful grounds and wide range of extra-curricular activities.

Our exams results are nothing special compared to other local independents because we are not a selective school. They are a bit better than the local state schools, probably because we have very small classes, where pupils get more 1-2-1 attention from teachers. Also most pupils and parents are highly motivated and more likely to pay for private tuition.