State or private school?

[Flowerybitch]

I think if I had the money I would send my children to private school, but do you really think it's worth the money?

juneau class sizes may be a big deal with little kids. At magdalen, the classes are no smaller than the local comp. the difference is, the kids sit in rows facing forwards, everyone knows he is there to learn and work, and the teacher will have at least a degree, if not a doctorate, in the subject.

But as others have said, some private schools don't major on the academic side. I don't have any experience of why parents pick those , or if it works out.

It depends on the state schools in your area. If we had been able to access a good state primary, our DC would be in the state system. Our catchment school is dire, so we go private. Also, not all private schools are the same. Where we live 25% of children go to private schools, but there is a huge variety. Finances allowing, visit all the options and make your decision from there. You shouldn't decide on state vs private, but pick the best school for your child.

My DC1 has just started at a non selective private school in YR 7. He's been coming home telling me that Maths is too easy and he gets bored. Last year in our community primary school he was good at maths but not the best in his class.
Enough said

Bimba you need a selective school. Private does not equal academic.

We could have had two children and sent then private , instead we chose to have more children .

I could have stayed in my previous job and sent three or four through private schools , I chose to become a teacher and have lots of children. Perfectly happy with our choices.

When DS started school we sent him to a private prep which was very highly regarded with glowing reports from all relevant bodies.
After 2 terms we yanked him out because he was incredibly unhappy and stressed and had begun developing all manner of appalling nervous ticks.
His teacher was no teacher at all - it transpired she had no relevant qualifications - not even a degree. And she was a bloody tyrant who seemed to despise children.
Private education - as with private health care - does not instantly mean superior.

Oh I just picked Eton for the sake of it. To be honest I still don't think 98K, or even 28K represents great value for a crop of good A-Levels.

Heads, well I never thought I would do it either, but life can surprise you. But given the career path DS has chosen I think it will turn out to have been the right choice in our case. His cohort have all finished their first degrees now so it is all getting a bit real.....

I'm sure he'll do well. Like I said, I just don't think they offer value for money in terms of school academic results. They offer other things too - confidence, connections, exclusivity, a peer group who respect and value money and expect to earn highly.

I can see why people send their children to private school for strategic reasons. But I don't think they are worth it for the exam results alone.

I don't think you get connections. Not from an ex-grammar. You have to pick a different kind of school for that.

His peer group aren't into money in fact, they are doing a wide range of stuff, some quite creative industry and underpaid, others early career medics or academic scientists. What they have in common is a good work ethic and a good grasp of the basics of their subjects.

State, with small class sizes. We can all dream ....

I know people who send their children to private schools for strategic reasons too. Trouble is, they don't realise that just because a school's private that doesn't necessarily mean that you will make connections. You need the top few for that. And the people from that top few who are inclined to look down their noses (and there are some!) are going to look down even more at someone from a private school nobody has ever heard of than at the product of the state system. Sad, but true.

My DS has been to state primary (thought to be very good when we started, but it went down quickly due to a new head), a prep for children of all ability (naice and they got a lot of attention, brilliant for kids with dyslexia), and now a very academic prep (very hard work but the motivation and confidence is really incredible). I don't think a single penny of it is wasted. I hate entitled young people, work with a lot of them, but this is not a natural consequence of a good education.

No I would never send my children to private school. I don't believe they should exist.

I would send my dc to a good private school rather than just any. There are a lot of run of the mill private schools.

As one poster stated, most private schools are not selective whereas grammar schools are. I would am going to push to send my dc to a grammar school.

"As one poster stated, most private schools are not selective whereas grammar schools are. I would am going to push to send my dc to a grammar school."

A grammar school is just the top set of a comprehensive school but in a different building!

Curlew, where that is true, you are very lucky indeed, but not everywhere is like that.

It has to be true. Unless you think that for some reason there are more clever children in areas that happen to have grammar schools?

Research shows that if you take a grammar school and its corresponding secondary modern and add their results together, they differ very little, if at all, from the results of a comprehensive school with a similar catchment.

Nope, curlew. The kids may be just as clever but that is not the half of it.

Teachers with a degree in the science they are teaching.
A level choices that do not include soft subjects.
All classes set according to ability and without disruptive kids there.
That research is poor quality as it doesn't distinguish by subject choice. If you look at the data on how many kids get AAB in Russell group a level subjects, you see an entirely different picture.

I am wondering how many people here have got kids all the way through sixth form? My views on education changed quite a lot over the experience of getting three kids through, including private and comprehensive. IME people don't understand the importance of a level subject choice until its too late.

I wouldn't send my DDs private even if I could afford to, but then 1) I come from a country which has virtually no private education (Holland) and 2) I'm a complete leftie. And I know full well that this is not entirely reasonable.

If we were not fortunate in our local schools, I would bone up and top up myself at home, or if I could afford to leave work I'd home ed. However, we are fortunate in our local schools - our comprehensive is ambitious for all its students and does not just focus on getting people across the C/D boundary.

I think a lot of it is about what you want out of life for your DCs - and obviously we all want the best, but what is that? To me is is about happiness, job satisfaction in a career they are passionate about, good relationships and being financially reasonably secure. If your DC wants to go into a profession where who you know matters, then you have to make certain choices.

I do also think that for a lot of people the wrap around care offered by many private schools is essential. I have friends who are both doctors, working stupid hours, and they need the care the schools provide.

All classes set according to ability and without disruptive kids there.

I think this is often the key to success for private and grammar schools. They just don't have to deal with the difficult element.

However, my DD2 has just come back from a birthday party - the child in question being 'disruptive' (in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD and learning difficulties). The school manages him very well and deals with his behaviour, and he is a friendly, lovable boy. DD says that being around him has taught her to be more tolerant of people who are different to her. That has to be balanced against the benefits of a 'cleansed' learning environment.

That said, I think in secondary it becomes more difficult. DD1 was in all the top sets last year and one very bright, very disturbed boy was in there with her. And he chose her to latch on to - it made her miserable. This year, the school has put in place something called a 'super set' above the top set. DD1 is in it, this boy is not. Her life at school has been transformed. It is a difficult balance to strike and I see no easy answers.

I'm another one who, even if I had the money, I wouldn't send DS to private school. I don't agree with them at all. Especially after watching the programme "Harrow - A Very British School."

When I was in primary school, the teachers encouraged DM to get me to apply for an English scholarship to private school. She didn't - because of the background we came from she didn't think I would have a very good time there.

I think if you want to learn, you will learn. I didn't go to a very good school (only 49% GCSE pass rate) and I did pretty well. I would send DS to a better school than the one I went to, but I'd still stick with a state school!

It's a mixture.

The private school I know best works at a cracking speed. The kids just cover far more in the year. The teachers are more specialised, there is more work, and yes, there is no disruption. They go way beyond the syllabus.

I have no experience of a less academic private school type. I took one Dc out of state into private on advice from his state school, as they just did not have anyone to teach the science. My other two DC stayed in state school as their needs were entirely different. Nothing to do with social advantage, everything to do with having a Dc who was reading A level chemistry textbooks aged 9.

I think the other thing you have to remember is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Many people use state for prep and private for senior (or vice versa) and lots move between different private/state schools too. Children change and develop and what's best for them at one age might not be at another.

My advice to anyone is don't discount anything until you've had a chance to weigh up all your options and that includes home ed if that's workable.