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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that teacher should make sure 4 yr old has a drink?

178 replies

aliharris · 04/10/2013 20:05

OK, DS just started school, had 7 half days and then started full time this week.
All the children have to take a water bottle in, and as DS won't drink anything else, this isn't anything unusual for him. However, he always needs to be reminded to have a drink as he won't stop playing etc to have one unless he is absolutely desperate.
I quickly realised that he wasn't drinking very much and put a note in his home to school book (the messaging system). TA wrote a note that she would encourage him to drink plenty.
Today I picked him up to find he hadn't had anything to drink from his bottle at all. He said he had had one drink from the water fountain, but nothing else, not even at lunch time. I waited to speak to the teacher and she just said, "Well I remind them to have a drink, I can't check individually".
Now I realise he has to learn to drink more, but I am so, so cross that he has gone a whole day at school without a proper drink - his bottle is transparent so it's not like you can't see.
AIBU? If it continues what can I do?

OP posts:
clam · 05/10/2013 12:03

My post of 09.44 will show that I know how to spell makehay's username. The subsequent post was quite clearly a typing error!

And it's usually a good idea to read the thread before posting a comment that has been answered many, many times already. Particularly in AIBU.

SleepyFish · 05/10/2013 12:13

Fluid maintenance for the average 15kg 4/5 year old is approximately 1200mls per 24 hours so around 2 average sized water bottles (not taking into account water obtained through food or lost through excessive exercise etc)
The worst that could happen is the child gets a bit tired.
YABU. It's your responsibility to teach your child the importance of drinking adequate fluids and why, not the teachers. You will now be known as the PITA parent.

BellaVita · 05/10/2013 12:19

Aggressive responses. Really?

JuliaScurr · 05/10/2013 12:24

really? too difficult to remind the class before they go out to put sun cream on and have a drink? honestly?

BellaVita · 05/10/2013 12:26

They have been reminded - OP said so herself.

Hulababy · 05/10/2013 12:31

We remind children to have a drink at playtimes and lunch time. We do this to avoid children getting up and down in learning time more than anything else.

However, we do not, and could not, actually make children have a drink. Nor do we stand next to the water bottles checkig they have a drink either.

We do currently have one child who needs to drink more than normal due to a medical reason. That child is allowed their water bottle at carpet time and we remind the child when entering the room after breaks, as well as the general reminder before breaks. But we still can't actually make them drink. Luckily the parents agree that the reminders are all that we need to do and anything more is down to the child.

judgejudithjudy · 05/10/2013 17:16

yabvu Biscuit & this is why i feel so sorry for teachers! OP you are expecting way too much from the teacher & your dc wont die from not drinking every 5 mins. However, please do make an appointment to see HT & report back about how long they laugh at you for!

cariadmawr · 05/10/2013 17:26

Ds1 would drink for wales and still does now ds 2 who is 7.5 is another ball game never drinks water that goes to school is nagged to drink small amount in morn before cereal and has hardly anything to drink but has managed to not dehydrate on a daily basis .ok they should drink but nobody can force them to sorry you really need to get a grip !

insancerre · 05/10/2013 17:34

okay, some perspective needed I think
OP, YANBU and here's why
children in reception are still in the EYFS and that places certain legal requirements on those providing the EYFS
www.foundationyears.org.uk/early-years-foundation-stage-2012/
one of those is the provision of a key person for every child
"1.11 Each child must be assigned a key person...The key person must
help ensure that every child’s learning and care is tailored to meet their individual needs"
Note the word "care". The EYFS is not all about teaching.
and "3.1 Children learn best when they are healthy, safe and secure,
when their individual needs are met, and when they have positive relationships with the adults caring for them"
note the words "individual needs are met"
also
"3.2
Providers must take all necessary steps to keep children safe and well"
if that means that individual children need extra help and support to have a drink then that has to be provided
it is not good enough for tachers to say that they only teach
for children to be able to learn and to reach their full potential then their basic needs must be met
and having a drink is a basic need

imofftolisdoonvarna · 05/10/2013 17:56

When your 'key worker' (ie. The teacher) is also responsible for 29 other children, then they are not exactly 'key' anyway, so it's a bit pointless to even use that sort of terminology in reception.

insancerre · 05/10/2013 18:01

nowhere in the EYFS does it use the term 'key-worker'
it's 'key-person'
and if the teacher can't meet all their needs then there is something wrong
"3.27
Staffing arrangements must meet the needs of all children and ensure
their safety. "
it is a big cop-out to say the teacher can't do this or can't do that
and it shouldn't be pointless, its from The STATUTORY Framework for the EYFS

imofftolisdoonvarna · 05/10/2013 18:05

What is the difference between key worker and key person? (Genuine question!)

insancerre · 05/10/2013 18:09

keyperson is more intimate, it infers that the relationship goes way beyond the 'work' side
it is more about meeting children's emotional and individual needs (think attachment theory)

bronya · 05/10/2013 18:13

Does he like milk? Does he have that at break time? If so, that'd be plenty - morning drink, breaktime milk, lunchtime water, home. If he likes milk and isn't getting it, could you sign him up for it? When I taught, we didn't check children had drunk from their water bottles (although we reminded the class to drink regularly), but we made sure they'd had their milk as it had to be drunk at a certain time.

imofftolisdoonvarna · 05/10/2013 18:23

Ah right, thanks. But when you are talking about things like attachment theory etc. then that is incredibly difficult when a child is just one of 30 children vying for the attention of 1 teacher. Obviously when children are younger/in a private nursery as a 1 year old when their key person is looking after 2 other babies then that attachment is going to be much stronger.

Plus, unless a child is becoming ill from not drinking enough, then their basic needs are being met?

How would you suggest that 1 teacher (possibly two with a TA although I don't think they can be classed as a key person can they due to not having the same status as a teacher?) Not only ensures that every child drinks but also monitors how much they drink closely enough to ensure they are drinking enough to ensure their basic needs are met? I am quite happy to admit that I know only the very basics about reception here as I am a bit more ks 2, but I know that reception is as busy as anywhere else in school.

insancerre · 05/10/2013 18:34

They don't have to monitor how much every child drinks but, the teacher knows this particular child needs some help and support at the moment, so it is not too difficult for the teacher to ensure this one child is drinking plenty.
After all the teacher is a highly trained professional with a degree, monitoring one child's water intake is hardly taxing.
Why go to the trouble of buying in to the research that shows that drinking more water during school helps children's brain development and therefore their learning, if they are not going to implement it properly?
Most children will be able to drink without being told, but I have met a couple that really do need help.
Why is it that teachers can't provide that support?

CeliaFate · 05/10/2013 19:35

Of course you want your son's needs catered for.
But so do the parents of the other 29 children. The teacher cannot mother them all. If he's thirsty he'd drink.
Water bottles in class are a recent initiative. Before that, nobody conked out in class because of dehydration.

Rooners · 05/10/2013 19:38

Ali, I have not read your thread, just the first post - this is exactly the reason I took mine out of school in reception.

He was just not old enough to cope alone and they didn't have the resources to make sure he drank, ate or went to the loo all day, and I did, so I took him out and sent him back in y1.

There is a massive problem with children being too little for YR.

I feel for you.

whois · 05/10/2013 20:11

Teaching kids to drink more water is a great way to improve health and therefore attendance rates

Ha ha. Ha. Ha.

Why doesn't anyone seem to understand we are not balance on a kind edge between hydration and EVIL dehyration.

A drink at breakfast, break maybe, one at lunch then after school is fine.

I don't remember my class mates have dehydration problems with only a (non supervised) drink at break and lunch.

clam · 06/10/2013 00:13

"the teacher knows this particular child needs some help and support"

Does he? Has he been diagnosed with a medical condition? Or is it just that his mother wants him to drink a certain amount each day?

Morloth · 06/10/2013 00:35

There are almost 7 billion humans.

We are really very very tough.

6 hours without a drink isn't a drama, even in fairly hot conditions.

Which as it is October and I assume you are in yhe UK isn't likely.

He will be fine, chill out.

MidniteScribbler · 06/10/2013 02:55

There is a massive problem with children being too little for YR

There's also a massive problem with parents being unable to let go of their children and allow them to grow up and learn to take responsibility for themselves and work within a peer group.

Rooners · 06/10/2013 08:02

Is there? Ok. I think that's a separate issue though. The two aren't mutually exclusive but they are separate.

Some children, when they don't drink, don't eat and don't go to the toilet for several hours turn into a physical wreck and that is on top of the emotional and cognitive demands of the school experience.

Being overstimulated and overwhelmed, with low blood sugar and a bit of dehydration to boot is pretty shit. Especially if you only just stopped having an afternoon sleep.

Ds did really well on mornings only but the school didn't want to do this after a term or so, and so we tried full days again and it didn't work and so we left it. When he returned in y1 he was totally able to cope with full days.

A year makes an enormous difference for these children. Some of course manage perfectly alright but it is important imo to differentiate between those who can cope easily and those who can cope only because they really have to, and actually, cannot cope in any meaningful sense.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 06/10/2013 08:26

As keyperson or keyworker it is the teacher's responsibility to make sure she reminds the children to drink.

Which she does.

In the hot weather we had many conversations about the importance of staying hydrated and replacing water lost by sweating, as part of teaching children about their world and their bodies. If a particular child comes in bright red and obviously hot and sweaty I'll ask them to go and have a drink.

I still didn't monitor every child's drinking though!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 06/10/2013 08:28

I also think a good foundation stage teacher (I teach year 1 and this still applies really) will know which children are feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope and will make allowances for them.