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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that teacher should make sure 4 yr old has a drink?

178 replies

aliharris · 04/10/2013 20:05

OK, DS just started school, had 7 half days and then started full time this week.
All the children have to take a water bottle in, and as DS won't drink anything else, this isn't anything unusual for him. However, he always needs to be reminded to have a drink as he won't stop playing etc to have one unless he is absolutely desperate.
I quickly realised that he wasn't drinking very much and put a note in his home to school book (the messaging system). TA wrote a note that she would encourage him to drink plenty.
Today I picked him up to find he hadn't had anything to drink from his bottle at all. He said he had had one drink from the water fountain, but nothing else, not even at lunch time. I waited to speak to the teacher and she just said, "Well I remind them to have a drink, I can't check individually".
Now I realise he has to learn to drink more, but I am so, so cross that he has gone a whole day at school without a proper drink - his bottle is transparent so it's not like you can't see.
AIBU? If it continues what can I do?

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 20:28

Oh please get a grip. She reminds him and he doesn't want to, do you expect her to force him?

weblette · 04/10/2013 20:30

Don't see how the teacher can force your child to drink.

Something I found really helped was having a see-through bottle - the challenge for ds was to make sure he'd had a certain amount every day. Drawing lines with a Sharpie or putting on a sticker, doesn't matter as long as they can see/judge that they've got the level down.

Original poster
aliharris · 04/10/2013 20:31

Well that's told me then Sad

In my defence I don't expect the teacher to stand over each pupil and make them drink but I still thought that at snack time and lunch time they would make sure that they had had a drink? After all, they are insisting that the children take the water in to class with them.
But I stand corrected as an over anxious weirdo Blush

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 04/10/2013 20:32

OP I do get where you are coming from but really as children get older they drink less in short bursts and then realise they are thirsty and gulp down a whole bottle. My DC are 3 and 7 and I really leave it up to them at home and school. They are fine and regulate themselves. You are just used to making sure he drinks regularly but it's not a big issue if he doesn't tbh

ketchupontoast · 04/10/2013 20:35

Does he not have school milk too?

PinkSippyCup · 04/10/2013 20:38

I feel mean now.

You don't sound like a weirdo OP, just a concerned Mum.

I'm sure it's just your general anxiety about DC starting school and being in the care of someone else and you're putting all of that anxiety into this drinking thing.

He's fine, honestly. Smile

bearleftmonkeyright · 04/10/2013 20:39

In reception at our school they are reminded to drink at every break and when they come in after lunch play. I am MDS and try my best to make sure all the little ones drink. Most of them do drink plenty.

OldRoan · 04/10/2013 20:41

OP you'd be amazed - I have a class of 5/6/7 year olds. At snack time we do the following

  1. line up for the toilet in two lines, boys and girls
  2. go to the toilet in small groups, as and when instructed by TA and/or me. All must go in to wash hands before snack.
  3. queue up for water fountain
  4. have water, or join next queue
  5. back to class for snack.

Every single day, without fail, at least 2 children will ask for the toilet within 5 minutes of entering the class, and another 2 will want drinks. They didn't go, and didn't bother drinking at the fountain despite physically standing at it.

Nothing wrong with being over-anxious at this stage.

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 20:45

Yabu...there's a Mum at our school and she's always checking and nagging her child AND the teacher about this....it's not all day and the child WILL seek water if the child is thirsty.

Stampstamp · 04/10/2013 20:54

OP I can understand your anxiety. To everyone that's posted "I never drank at school/my DC never drank at school and no-one died", that's all very well, but it can make life difficult for some children. My DD wasn't been drinking at school either and became constipated which has never been an issue before. I started reminding her to drink before I sent her in and also gave her a sticker if she finished her whole water bottle by the end of school (or when I picked her up) and this has resolved the problem. I would hope that the teacher or TA can do their best to remind 4 year olds to drink although I realise it can be difficult.

Unexpected · 04/10/2013 20:57

Why did your child not drink at lunchtime? When he was actually sitting eating lunch he cannot have been distracted by playing? If he can remember to eat, why can he not remember to drink at the same time? Teachers don't even supervise lunch so if your ds doesn't drink at breaktime it would be quite reasonable for the teacher to think he will drink at lunch. And as for reminding children individually to drink, have you ever spent time in a reception class OP? Seriously, there is NEVER a quiet moment and even at break/lunch/snack time there are always at least half-a-dozen people who need help with laces, coats, nose blowing, orange peeling, lid-removing, hair clip-finding, argument solving, etc etc. Standing over all the children and checking they have drunk is impossible - how do you remember when you have been round the whole class whether little Johnny's bottle was already only half-full or whether he has drunk half of it?

Turniptwirl · 04/10/2013 21:22

Yabu

Yes, teacher should remind the whole class to drink every so often. It sounds like she and ta are doing this. She cannot monitor your child's water intake. She is there to teach all 30 children, all of whom will have something similar that teacher could be doing for them but isn't because she has to think of the whole class.

It's your job to work on this with him as you only have one 4 year old to think of, not 30. Praise him when his water bottle shows he's been drinking, male sure he knows he's supposed to sip from in throughout the day. Check if he's ok using the school toilets as some kids don't like to and will avoid drinking so they can avoid using the toilet.

When I was at school I had a drink with breakfast around. 8am then nothing to eat or drink til lunch at 12 (no school milk for my generation!) a small glass of squash at lunch then nothing til I got home around 3.45pm. There was access to a water fountain but i rarely used it

PTFO · 04/10/2013 21:28

YANBU, but YOU have to nag your child.

for those saying get a grip- clearly don't have kids suffering constipation as a result of not drinking enough.

kali110 · 04/10/2013 21:32

Yabu. Teacher cant force him to drink.

Canthaveitall · 04/10/2013 21:37

YABU. How can you expect him to be managed like that? He needs to learn to drink. He's won't keel over from dehydration in the 6-7 hours he is at school. He'll soon learn to drink when he is thirsty.

MidniteScribbler · 04/10/2013 21:41

PTFO, the OP has said nothing about constipation. She has said the child is drinking from the water fountain. He's obviously getting enough water throughout the day if he is suffering no ill effects from it.

Parents need to understand that getting a certain behaviour from children does require both school and home to work together. You want your child to drink, and the teacher is regularly reminding them to do so. They cannot physically force your child to drink. So you need to come up with some incentives for them. Stickers if they drink to a certain point on their drink bottle? Reward charts. Reminding them to drink when the teacher tells them to. Making sure they drink plenty of water at home.

Flicktheswitch · 04/10/2013 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarlettsmummy2 · 04/10/2013 21:43

Get a grip! We didn't have water bottles at school and miraculously all survived.

Fuzzysnout · 04/10/2013 21:43

YAB ridiculous, sorry. The teacher has reminded him, clearly he is not that thirsty. Leave the teacher to get on with her job of teaching.

How many children die of thirst in British classrooms each day? Shocking!

FiveExclamations · 04/10/2013 21:43

I had to nag DD like fury to get her to drink enough during the day as she's prone to constipation and dehydration definitely made it worse.

You can ask them to push it, but I think what others have said is fair comment, they have a lot of children to look after. I think the marking the bottle idea is a good one, gives him something to aim for. The school also gave my DD permission to have her bottle on the table so she could keep sipping all day but that was only after DD slightly tore herself trying to pass a hard bowel movement. We cracked it in the end and she drinks well now and everything's functioning nicely.

A friends child is starting to get trouble with their kidneys because they don't drink enough during the day (won't touch plain water (that's a whole other thread), school does not allow squash in class and they are so keen to get out and play they don't drink enough at lunch).

So, IMO, you're not U to be concerned or to try and compromise with the school, but you may need to apply the bulk of the pressure. Reward chart maybe?

Nanny0gg · 04/10/2013 21:43

Our school, they all sit at their tables at snack time and have fruit and a drink of water in a beaker (this is in addition to their water bottles and their lunch drink)
They are reminded after playtime and after PE to get a drink too.

It's not hard.

Fluffyemenent · 04/10/2013 21:44

Normal human physiology if a person needs water their body tells them they are thirsty then they will seek out fluid and drink! It is impossible for a human child to dehydrate if not unwell with normal physiology and access to water even intermittently during the day. Chill!!

bababababoom · 04/10/2013 21:45

YANBU - this is yet another reason we took our son out of school.

My sister is a teacher. She says she sends the class to go and get a drink at regular times throughout the day, so that everyone has a drink. 4 and 5 year olds will often not bother drinking, or realise they can go and get a drink if they are thirsty. They're small children and YANBU to expect their physical needs to be taken care of.

BIWIZ · 04/10/2013 21:46

I'm 54.

When I was at school, we didn't take water in with us. In fact, buying water was a totally alien concept. The bottled water market didn't really develop in the UK till the 1980s.

So what did we do without being able to have an individual bottle of water?

Nothing!

There were water fountains around the school if you needed them. And we had milk at break - and water with lunch if required. (Actually I don't even remember drinking water with my lunch!).

And - guess what? We all survived.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 04/10/2013 21:47

Yabu, sorry.

Mine's a non drinker at school and suffers constipation. (House? Grin )

So I make sure he drinks a good amount in the morning and has a big breakfast that includes fruit. When I pick him up I make sure he has a good guzzle. And I tell him to drink whenever he's thirsty/remembers to in the day.